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Work Stories (sooubway)

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07:24   |   Mar 30, 2016

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Work Stories (sooubway)
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Transcription

  • I think that everyone at some point in their life should work in a fast-food or retail job.
  • Not to improve their work ethic or anything,
  • but so that everyone knows what it's like to have that kind of job.
  • They wouldn't work in fast-food their whole lives,
  • maybe just like, for six months.
  • Just so they get a feel for it.
  • So with that, let's talk about the time when I worked in fast food.
  • I used to work at a very small, local, sandwich shop.
  • I don't know if any of you guys heard of it, it's called SOOUBWAY?
  • Our spokesperson was in the news recently.
  • I don't know if you guys look at the news.
  • Did you hear he got beat up in jail?
  • I kinda want to meet the person who beat up Jared,
  • more than Jared.
  • Not in person, we wouldn't meet in person, obviously.
  • But like, he would be behind bars,
  • and I would just look at the guy who beat up my spokesperson.
  • How many people get to say that they beat up a fast-food icon, who was also a pedophile?
  • Only one, and it's that guy.
  • Okay but seriously guys,
  • working at Subway was probably one of the most easiest jobs out there.
  • I don't know what I'm about to complain about it to you guys.
  • We got free cookies! (yay :D)
  • And you know the comic with the Subways in Hell?
  • I was actually working at Subway when I made that comic.
  • I just think it had sort of a little bit of value to it.
  • You see, the owners, who were husband and wife...
  • Can you believe it? (no I can't James)
  • ...of the Subway I worked at, owned two stores.
  • One of the Subway stores was in a Walmart, on an Indian Reservation,
  • 'cause we have those in Arizona,
  • and the other Subway...
  • ...was the Subway I worked at.
  • And since the Walmart store was always busy, the owners would spend 99% of their time at that store.
  • So I didn't really have a boss, most of the time. (yay :D)
  • On the off-chance the owners did show up,
  • they would just pick up some food and then they would make sure I was making sandwiches the right way.
  • And every time I made a sandwich in front of them, they would always find something wrong with it, without fail.
  • YOU PUT ON TOO MANY OLIVES.
  • Do you know, according to the Subway formula,
  • you're only supposed to put on 6 olives on a foot long?
  • SIX!.....
  • One for every other bite.
  • That's just ridiculous! Can you imagine someone just counting out 6 olives?
  • Nobody does that!
  • I usually worked the closing shift,
  • and at the end of the night, we would turn the alarm and we would have 60 seconds to get out of the store.
  • But one time, I had the opening shift.
  • So I unlocked the door to get in with my key, and the alarm went,
  • *Beep*
  • *Beep*
  • meaning I had 60 seconds to turn it off.
  • No big deal, right?
  • I turned the alarm on all the time when I was closing.
  • So I go to the little control panel, and I type in the code,
  • and nothing happens.
  • The beeping is still there and the clock is still ticking down.
  • So I go, "Okay, I'm going to press each button very carefully.
  • I'm going to make sure each button makes a beep when I press it."
  • *Beep*
  • *Beep*
  • *Long Beep*
  • Nothing still happens.
  • So I go, "OKAY! I'm going to make sure to press each button, VERY CAREFULLY!"
  • And I start thinking, did they change the pass code without telling me?
  • Was the only pass code I know, so we're just gonna try it again.
  • And I press each button, very carefully.
  • *Beep*
  • *Beep*
  • *Long Beep*
  • And it goes quiet...
  • (Alarm Sound) AND THEN THE ALARM GOES OFF!
  • I still had, like, 20 seconds left,
  • but I guess when you get it wrong 3 times, it automatically assumes that you're a burglar.
  • (Alarm Sound) So while the alarm is going off,
  • I look on the contact sheet for the owner's cell phone number,
  • I step outside, I call him, and he doesn't pick up.
  • (Alarm Sound) So I go back inside, find the number for the other Subway store,
  • they open an hour before we do,
  • Someone picks up with their stupid voice,
  • "Oh, thank you for calling Subway, I'm...
  • (Gibberish)
  • ...how may I help you?"
  • And I go, "Hey, is Mike there?"
  • That's not his real name guys, don't worry.
  • And they go, "Um, just a minute."
  • Yeah, sure, I have all the time in the world. The cops might be on their way, but take your time.
  • So, Mike picks up.
  • MIKE: y-hello
  • JAMES: Hey Mike, this is James. Uh, what's the pass code for the alarm?
  • MIKE: Who is this?
  • JAMES: It's James. What's the passcode?
  • MIKE: What are you doing there James?
  • JAMES: WHY AREN'T YOU ANSWERING THE QUESTION?
  • I have the opening shift.
  • MIKE: Is the alarm going off?
  • JAMES: (Alarm Sound) Yeah. No one told me the new code.
  • MIKE: Yeah, we changed it. It's the last 4 digits of your social security number.
  • JAMES: Oh, oh, okay. Thanks Mike.
  • I DON'T KNOW MY SOCIAL SECURITY NUMBER!
  • So I finally get the alarm off,
  • no one showed up, thankfully.
  • Which, I actually don't know if that's a good thing or not,
  • now that I say it out loud.
  • We did have a store manager who would, like, make the schedule and sometimes tell us,
  • "Hey, can you guys do a better job at...
  • your job?"
  • But other than that, she was cool!
  • She watches my videos and so do her little brothers,
  • They're big fans. Shout out to Ivan and Andy.
  • Those are the brothers.
  • So get this, at Subway, you only work with one other person.
  • Just you and them in an empty Subway for 5 hours.
  • I mean we weren't, like, empty all the time. Okay?
  • And when you're not making sandwiches, you have other stuff to do like,
  • stocking the chips or...
  • ...we had stuff to do.
  • But okay, we did watch a lot of Netflix and do homework, so I mean...
  • (Gibberish)
  • That other person you worked with, would make or break your entire shift.
  • It wasn't the annoying customers. I kinda got used to annoying customers.
  • So I worked with a lot of crappy people.
  • And I also worked with a lot of people who I would probably never become friends with
  • except in a work setting.
  • You see, you got to understand the type of people who got jobs at Subway.
  • Potheads.
  • Most of them were potheads.
  • AND SOME OF THEM WERE REALLY COOL!
  • I'm just gonna go over a couple of the characters that I worked with.
  • There was Tyler, I freakin love this guy. He smoked a lot of weed.
  • He actually told me what vaping was, and he got me into Clash of Clans.
  • I actually mentioned him and his girlfriend in my riddles video.
  • I don't know if I ever told him that.
  • And of course I have to mention Corey, he was cool.
  • We watched "How To Get Away With Murder" on Netflix,
  • and I've also hung outside with him outside of work.
  • What him and Tyler had in common is that they would actually do their job,
  • Which you got to appreciate.
  • Then there was this guy.
  • And get this,
  • who was also named Jared. And he was fat!
  • I KNOW, RIGHT?
  • He's like... Jared, but before!
  • He loved Marvel and that's, like, the only thing he would talk about.
  • I can say these things. He's dosen't watch my videos.
  • There's Sarah. She was cool. She make me a bread bowl,
  • and her boyfriend, Jay.
  • He talked about chacras and...
  • ...third eyes, he was...
  • interesting.
  • And also, there's Anthonee. He's cool.
  • What's up Anthonee!
  • For the hundred thousand sprinkles video,
  • I actually went back to Subway to use their scale because I knew they had one,
  • and we counted 500 sprinkles again just to be more accurate for the hundred thousand,
  • and Anthonee helped me count.
  • Instead of working.
  • I mean, at least he got paid...
  • ...minimum wage for it.
  • So 2 more stories, before I go.
  • One time...
  • Jared asked to take out this pile of trash,
  • and I was like, "Oh, okay, I'll just put this pile of trash in the dumpster."
  • And as I was taking it out, I saw that there was a chip poster in the pile.
  • And I thought, "This is too cool to throw away. I'm going to keep it." (very cool)
  • So I took it home with me, and then the next day, when I went in,
  • people were saying, "Oh, where's the chip poster?
  • We can't find the chip poster! We ha-
  • We haven't seen it anywhere!"
  • And I'm thinking,
  • (Whispers) "I have the poster."
  • I decide not to tell anyone that I had the poster,
  • and it's still hanging up in my room.
  • (Whispers) Sorry boss if you're finding out about this now.
  • Okay, then the other story,
  • I was working with the manager and we were just making sandwiches like usual,
  • and I noticed that when we toasted a sandwich, it would burn the paper a little on the edges.
  • "That probably shouldn't be happening."
  • So then a customer asks for just bacon toasted.
  • And the boss lady put some bacon on paper, and then puts it in the toaster.
  • And we don't have a setting for just bacon.
  • So then when she opens the toaster,
  • There was a fire, on the bacon!
  • So then she starts to wack it with the little, metal, tray thing,
  • but all she ended up doing was fanning the flames, making the fire bigger. (well done)
  • *Fire Sound*
  • "Uh, you got this, right?"
  • Then I went in the back and I got the fire extinguisher and I actually used it!
  • I single-handedly saved that Subway!
  • Wait.
  • What have I done?
  • BOSS LADY: Is it okay if the bacon's a little crispy?
  • And has nitrogen and carbon dioxide stuff on it?
  • Wow, I didn't even mention a single bad customer experience.
  • Well, I don't want the video to be too long
  • I should make a part 2.
  • I'm gonna make a part 2 and it's just gonna be stories about annoying customers that I had to deal with.
  • And if anyone I used to work with is watching, and I didn't mention you,
  • It's because I hate you.

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Description

I was a sandwich ARTIST, okay? Because subways are everywhere, there's probably someone watching this who used to or is working at subway right now. How is it? I thought it was an okay job.

Twitter ➤ https://twitter.com/Theodd1sout
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