Which Thing Kills More People? (GAME)

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09:24   |   Mar 12, 2018


Which Thing Kills More People? (GAME)
Which Thing Kills More People? (GAME) thumb Which Thing Kills More People? (GAME) thumb Which Thing Kills More People? (GAME) thumb


  • ( music playing )
  • Kicking the bucket isn't the only way to die,
  • you could also kick the side of a Taco Bell
  • and get crushed by a neon sign and live no mas.
  • We're gonna play a game to see just how well you know
  • your unlikely harbingers of death
  • with a little help from our own killing machine,
  • Chase the gator. This is...
  • Okay, Link, here's how this works,
  • I'm going to reveal two different items
  • that are known to kill people,
  • and then you're going to direct Chase the gator's... mouth...
  • - Hey! - ...towards which one you think
  • actually kills more people.
  • - Yes. Statistically... speaking. - Statistically.
  • Statistically. What's another way?
  • Not actual in one year like last year.
  • Yeah, but it will be per year,
  • - but it is like an average. - Okay.
  • And then I'm going to reveal which one is right.
  • You have one cheat that you can do, one hint,
  • and that's the gator-aide
  • where you can ask for the reveal of one of the numbers,
  • not both of 'em, but you can just pick which item,
  • and reveal the number.
  • Revealing both would give me the answer.
  • - Correct. - I would love that.
  • If you knew how to compare numbers, that is.
  • Now, Chase, if you're gonna talk,
  • which you don't have to,
  • I guess I would puppet you.
  • Like, say something.
  • I can't see anymore.
  • - ( laughs ) That was very compelling. - You can't see?
  • Oh, you could see earlier?
  • Yeah, that's better, thank you.
  • All right.
  • And, Link, if you get three out of five,
  • you win this handy dandy life preserver
  • because it saves lives.
  • It could save my life.
  • And why are you wearing suspenders?
  • Oh, I've got my waders on, of course.
  • 'Cause we in the swamp.
  • - Let's do it. - Let's get started.
  • ( crunch, man yells )
  • Up first, don't hit the vending machine
  • when you're browsing for a cold drink
  • unless you want to get crushed by its weight when it falls on you.
  • That's right, vending machines kill people
  • and it's a serious issue.
  • Which of these equally terrifying monsters
  • kill more people each year,
  • vending machines or sharks?
  • Oh, sharks.
  • Oh, sharks!
  • Are you scared of 'em?
  • I'm scared of gators too.
  • This one's harmless.
  • At least I think so.
  • Hmm.
  • Man, why...
  • Vending machines fall on people
  • and kill them.
  • - It's... - Yes.
  • That can't happen that often.
  • Right, seems like a rare event.
  • It cannot happen more than sharks.
  • Or can it?
  • Well, that would be ironic.
  • If this were a comedy show,
  • I would choose vending machines,
  • but I'm gonna say that...
  • sharks have to kill more people
  • than falling vending machines.
  • I'm not an idiot.
  • All right, let's reveal the numbers!
  • Sharks kill 0.5 people?
  • Half a person? How you kill have a person?
  • I don't even know. And how many...
  • - Look at that. - I'll help you out.
  • - Okay, thank you. - All right.
  • So less than 0.5 is what--
  • - Two? - Two! Two people die
  • - from vending machines every year. - Are you kidding me?
  • That means two people die
  • while clutching Funyuns every year.
  • I think it's because they won't come out
  • and you get frustrated and you start shaking it.
  • - Yeah. - That's what it is.
  • Either way, you're wrong.
  • They deserve to die.
  • ( crunch, man yells )
  • Birthday parties are scary
  • and not just because you're one year closer to death,
  • there's danger everywhere.
  • You don't know what's in those gift-wrapped boxes.
  • And the balloons, people could choke on those and die!
  • And don't even get me started about inviting me
  • to your hot air balloon birthday party!
  • I know those are deadly.
  • - Mm. - But how deadly?
  • Which of these kills more people
  • on average per year,
  • hot air balloons or plain old balloons?
  • You know, people do die in hot air balloons
  • 'cause they never come back.
  • Uh-huh, yeah, right.
  • You can't land them once you're in there in the air.
  • Yeah, pack a big lunch
  • whenever you get on one of those things,
  • that's all I'm saying.
  • 'Cause you're going to space.
  • But there's a lot of safety protocols
  • when it comes to getting in one of those balloon-ified...
  • - travel devices. - Mm-hmm.
  • I'm saying birthday party 'cause it's an unsuspecting place.
  • Well, birthday party is not an answer.
  • It's balloons.
  • - Oh, it's just balloons? - So you wanna go with balloons?
  • No, my rationale still holds,
  • people are unsuspecting of balloons
  • and it'll reach out and they'll kill you.
  • Okay, show him how many people
  • are killed by balloons every year.
  • - 17! - 17, yes,
  • - I'm feeling good about this. - And the number of people
  • killed by hot air balloons?
  • - 5.8. - Yes!
  • Link, you are correct.
  • I would like to go up in one of those balloons with somebody.
  • - Maybe you. - Okay, we can do that.
  • - You know, the only funny thing... - Maybe you.
  • The only funny thing about suffocating on a balloon
  • is how high-pitched your screams for help are.
  • ( high-pitched ) Ah!
  • ( crunch, man yells )
  • It's always a relief to make it through a meal without choking,
  • but just because the steak's gone doesn't mean you're safe.
  • When the server drops off your check
  • with a pen and a toothpick,
  • you might be in more danger than you think.
  • Which of these items kills more people on average per year
  • by way of choking, toothpicks
  • - or pens? - Link: Pens?
  • Or "pins" as we said growing up.
  • Ink "pins."
  • "Pin," y'all got a "pin"?
  • Well, you chew on a pen,
  • but then what do you choke on, the end of it?
  • So it's got...
  • Man, that's a tough life, choking on a toothpick?
  • Whoo, that's a tough way to go.
  • All right, how many people choke on a toothpick...
  • die by toothpick every year?
  • - Three! - Three people die by...
  • - Toothpick, that's horrible. - ...choking on a toothpick?
  • How many people die by "pins"?
  • 100 people die by "pins" every year!
  • But by choking on it?
  • Yeah, that's the information that I've been given.
  • - On-- yes... - How do you choke on a pen?
  • You're chewing on it and it's like... ( gasps )
  • and then it goes... ( gasps )
  • and it goes in there and you go... ( long gasp )
  • - Chase, you believe that? - And then it stops...
  • - Probably. - ...and then you die.
  • - "Probably." - Yeah, I mean,
  • the most surprising thing about this
  • is that there are still 100 people using pens.
  • Right, I would like to choke on a keyboard.
  • Right.
  • ( crunch, man yells )
  • Now when I'm in da club, I like to pop champagne
  • and throw my hands in the air when the DJ tells me.
  • You know what else throws their hands in the air?
  • People on roller coasters!
  • Which one of these kills more people per year on average,
  • - champagne corks... - Link: Mm.
  • ...or roller coasters?
  • Well, again, you've got all this protocol
  • making sure the roller coaster is safe.
  • I know that it hits the news
  • when people are stranded on a roller coaster
  • and occasionally when people fly off and die or...
  • - Uh-huh. - It does happen.
  • Now, you also have a gator-aide,
  • you can reveal one of these, Link.
  • I almost killed you with a champagne popper.
  • Rhett: That wasn't even a cork,
  • that was just a...
  • confetti deal.
  • I did almost die, thanks for reminding me.
  • I wanna use my gator-aide.
  • Okay, which one you want revealed?
  • Show me the deaths by roller coaster.
  • Deaths by roller coaster per year, four.
  • Four?
  • Are more than four people killed by...?
  • I mean, they might be blinded,
  • but I don't know how it could actually kill you.
  • Right.
  • Like, how can getting hit
  • by this kill you?
  • Even at point-blank range,
  • it's not gonna do more...
  • than blind you,
  • especially with a number like...
  • it's not gonna go above four.
  • - You sure? - Yeah, I'm sure.
  • - There's no way. - You sure?
  • That's greater.
  • I didn't think so, but now I do.
  • Show him-- how 'bout
  • seeing how many people die by champagne cork?
  • 24, Link!
  • - How? What am I missing? - Oh, man, 24!
  • Well, the interesting thing is all those people were killed
  • by the same champagne cork.
  • It's like... ( imitates rapid rattling )
  • And they all died, it was one event.
  • No, actually it happens all the time.
  • They travel at like 55 miles per hour
  • and, at point-blank range, it hits you in the right part of the head...
  • ( imitates crushing sounds )
  • Oh, my gosh.
  • ...you die.
  • And, listen, there's a lot of champagne in the world.
  • ( crunch, man yells )
  • Okay, Link, you cannot win.
  • The PFD?
  • - You can't win the PFD. - Oh, goodness.
  • But you can win some pride back
  • - with this last question. - Yeah, I need that.
  • Vacation should be a time to kick back and relax,
  • but don't close your eyes because even a tropical island
  • can be a dangerous death trap!
  • I'm not talking just about spending time
  • with your immediate family.
  • Which one of these vacation-related things
  • leads to more deaths per year on average,
  • is it selfies or falling coconuts?
  • Ooh.
  • Selfies are certainly surging.
  • Selfies are surging.
  • - Certainly. - Certainly.
  • Look, they're about to fall off any second.
  • Like, if I just pushed them... they'd fall.
  • Don't do that 'cause it might open up and show you the answer.
  • Don't do that.
  • - Oh. - Don't hit it too hard.
  • No, no, no, don't hit it too hard, man.
  • I have no pride.
  • Which one kills more?
  • You know what? Shoot, man,
  • I think selfies are surging, certainly,
  • but they haven't surpassed... "soakanuts."
  • - All right, you're going with coconuts. - Coconuts be falling, y'all!
  • All right, show him how many people die from coconuts every year.
  • 150!
  • - Yeah. - Deadly, what?
  • Head injury, you're gone.
  • And how many from selfies?
  • - 12? But... - Only 12!
  • ...it is certainly surging.
  • Link, I'm sorry, you still lost.
  • You know, dying by coconut is horrible,
  • but I still would rather die that way
  • than have a coconut LaCroix.
  • And I also get this handy dandy PFD
  • I'll wear the rest of the day.
  • Thanks for liking, commenting and subscribing.
  • Chase, you say, "You know what time it is," like a gator.
  • ( gruff ) You know what time it is.
  • ( laughter )
  • My name's Renee and I'm an archeologist
  • working out in the Mojave Desert.
  • That is a petroglyph,
  • and it's time to spin the Wheel of Mythicality!
  • Even archeologists watch this show.
  • - Yeah! - Click the bottom link
  • to watch the episode from the beginning.
  • And click the top link to watch us
  • make Meat Everest breakfast sandwiches
  • out of our non-vegan scraps in "Good Mythical More!"
  • And to find out where the Wheel of Mythicality is going to land.
  • It'd be a deadly mistake not to buy our GMM pins,
  • available at mythical.store.

Download subtitle


We go down to the swamp to play "Less Than Or Gater Than" to find out what unassuming items kill people. GMM #1293.3
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