LOADING ...

Weekend Update: Trump Lost Over $1 Billion - SNL

2M+ views   |   22K+ likes   |   1K+ dislikes   |  
05:04   |   May 11, 2019

Thumbs

Weekend Update: Trump Lost Over $1 Billion - SNL
Weekend Update: Trump Lost Over $1 Billion - SNL thumb Weekend Update: Trump Lost Over $1 Billion - SNL thumb Weekend Update: Trump Lost Over $1 Billion - SNL thumb

Transcription

  • ♪♪♪ >> Announcer: IT'S "WEEKEND
  • UPDATE" WITH COLIN JOST AND MICHAEL CHE.
  • [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] >>> GOOD EVENING, EVERYONE.
  • >> WELCOME TO "WEEKEND UPDATE." I'M MICHAEL CHE.
  • >> I'M COLIN JOST. WELL, GUYS, IT TURNS OUT THAT
  • DONALD TRUMP MAY NOT BE THE FINANCIAL GENIUS THAT NO ONE
  • EVER REALLY THOUGHT HE WAS. [ LAUGHTER ]
  • ACCORDING TO TAX DOCUMENTS FROM 1985 TO 1994 DONALD TRUMP
  • APPEARS TO HAVE LOST, QUOTE, MORE MONEY THAN ANY OTHER
  • AMERICAN TAXPAYER. NOW, I LOVE THAT DURING THAT
  • PERIOD WHEN HE WAS LOSING A BILLION DOLLARS HE HAD THE
  • AUDACITY TO WRITE A BOOK ABOUT HOW GREAT HE WAS AT BUSINESS.
  • IT'S LIKE IF RIGHT NOW R. KELLY WROTE A BOOK ON BABY-SITTING.
  • [ LAUGHTER ] BUT SOMEHOW THERE ARE STILL
  • TRUMP SUPPORTERS WHO ARE TRYING TO SPIN THIS INTO A GOOD THING.
  • LOOK AT THIS CLIP FROM FOX AND FRIENDS.
  • >> IF ANYTHING, YOU READ THIS AND YOU'RE LIKE, WOW, IT'S
  • PRETTY IMPRESSIVE ALL THE THINGS THAT HE'S DONE IN HIS LIFE.
  • IT'S BEYOND WHAT MOST OF US COULD EVER ACHIEVE.
  • [ LAUGHTER ] >> COME ON, BLONDE LADY.
  • EVEN YOU DON'T BELIEVE THAT. I MEAN, YOU SAID THE LAST PART
  • INTO YOUR HAND. [ LAUGHTER ]
  • IT WOULD BE LIKE IF I SAID OH, DONALD TRUMP, HE'S SUCH A
  • HARD-WORKING PRESIDENT. [ LAUGHTER ]
  • >>> PRESIDENT TRUMP'S TAX DOCUMENTS ALSO SHOW THAT HIS
  • AIRLINE, WHICH I DIDN'T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT, LAUNCHED IN 1989
  • AND LOST $7 MILLION A MONTH UNTIL IT SHUT DOWN IN 1992.
  • AND JUST TO GIVE YOU AN IDEA OF HOW BAD HIS AIRLINE WAS, IT
  • LASTED 33 YEARS LESS THAN SPIRIT.
  • [ LAUGHTER ] >> SENATE MAJORITY LEADER MITCH
  • McCONNELL, WHO ALWAYS LOOKS LIKE HE'S WATCHING A MAN SLOWLY
  • DROWN -- [ LAUGHTER ]
  • HE SAID THAT THE MUELLER INVESTIGATION IS OVER AND THAT
  • DEMOCRATS SHOULD STOP ENDLESSLY RELITIGATING THE 2016 ELECTION.
  • THEN HE WENT BACK TO TRYING TO REPEAL OBAMACARE FOR LITERALLY
  • THE 55th TIME. BECAUSE McCONNELL ALWAYS DOES
  • WHAT'S BEST FOR THE COUNTRY. [ LAUGHTER ]
  • THE REPUBLICAN-LED SENATE INTELLIGENCE COMMITTEE HAS
  • SUBPOENAED DONALD TRUMP JR. TO TESTIFY ABOUT HIS MEETING WITH
  • RUSSIAN OFFICIALS. AND SO THAT HE DIDN'T FEEL LEFT
  • OUT, ERIC GOT A SUBPOENA FROM DETECTIVE PIKACHU.
  • [ LAUGHTER ] >> PRESIDENT TRUMP ESCALATED HIS
  • TRADE WAR WITH CHINA ON FRIDAY. AND AS A PROUD FATHER OF OVER
  • 500 PAIRS OF SNEAKERS THIS REALLY WORRIES ME.
  • CHINA MAKES EVERYTHING I NEED TO SURVIVE.
  • SHOES, HOODIES, FAKE LOUIS VUITTON, BEEF AND BROCCOLI,
  • RUSH HOUR. EVEN WHEN I SEE A TAG ON
  • SOMETHING THAT SAYS MADE IN AMERICA, THAT TAG WAS PROBABLY
  • MADE IN CHINA. [ LAUGHTER ]
  • >> PRESIDENT TRUMP HELD A RALLY IN THE FLORIDA PANHANDLE THIS
  • WEEK AND IT WAS EXACTLY WHAT YOU'RE IMAGINING.
  • >> WHO'S COMING TO THE UNITED STATES?
  • SO THESE COUNTRIES PUT PEOPLE IN A BASKET LIKE LITTLE -- WHO IS
  • IT? WHO IS IT?
  • BIG STRONG RIVERS, IT'S SNAKE COUNTRY.
  • YOU'VE GOT TO LIKE SNAKES A LOT. YOUNG MAN BUTTIGIEG.
  • BOOT-EDGE-EDGE. THEY SAY EDGE-EDGE.
  • SO ALWAYS KEEP YOUR EYES OPEN. BE CAREFUL.
  • AND LET LAW ENFORCEMENT KNOW WHEN YOU SEE A KOOK.
  • [ LAUGHTER ] [ APPLAUSE ]
  • >> HELLO, KOOK SQUAD? [ LAUGHTER ]
  • I KNOW THAT SPEECH DIDN'T SOUND VERY ELOQUENT, BUT FOR THE
  • FLORIDA PANHANDLE IT WAS BASICALLY THE GETTYSBURG
  • ADDRESS. [ LAUGHTER ]
  • AND IF YOU THINK THAT'S HARSH ABOUT THE PANHANDLE, JUST LISTEN
  • TO THIS FUN EXCHANGE ABOUT MIGRANTS AT THE BORDER.
  • ABOUT MIGRANTS AT THE BORDER.
  • >> BUT HOW DO YOU STOP THESE PEOPLE?
  • YOU CAN'T. THERE'S NOT -- THAT'S ONLY IN
  • THE PANHANDLE YOU CAN GET AWAY WITH THAT STATEMENT.
  • >> TRUMP'S JUST LIKE I LOVE YOU GUYS IN THE PANHANDLE.
  • Y'ALL MURDEROUS SNAKE FREAKS. [ LAUGHTER ]
  • THIS WEEK MARKED THE FIRST ANNIVERSARY OF MELANIA TRUMP'S
  • BE BEST ANTI-BULLYING CAMPAIGN. AND IF YOU DON'T THINK IT'S
  • GOING WELL, YOU'RE A FAT IDIOT WHO HAS NO FRIENDS.
  • [ LAUGHTER ] >> PRESIDENT TRUMP WELCOMED THE
  • BOSTON RED SOX TO THE WHITE HOUSE IN HONOR OF THEIR WORLD
  • SERIES WIN. HOWEVER, MOST OF THE TEAM'S
  • BLACK PLAYERS SKIPPED THE CEREMONY IN PROTEST.
  • SAID TRUMP, "PERFECT." [ LAUGHTER ]
  • >> CORY BOOKER WILL ATTEND A FUND-RAISER HOSTED BY THE
  • FOUNDER OF LINKEDIN, MAKING BOOKER THE FIRST PERSON TO
  • ACTUALLY ACCEPT AN INVITATION FROM LINKEDIN.
  • [ LAUGHTER ]

Download subtitle

Download video & audio

Right click on one of the buttons above and choose "Save Link As..." to download video

Description

Weekend Update anchors Colin Jost and Michael Che tackle the week's biggest news, like Donald Trump Jr. getting subpoenaed.

Subscribe to SNL: https://goo.gl/tUsXwM
Stream Current Full Episodes: http://www.nbc.com/saturday-night-live

Watch Past SNL Seasons: 
Google Play - http://bit.ly/SNLGooglePlay 
iTunes - http://bit.ly/SNLiTunes

Follow SNL Social -
SNL Instagram: http://instagram.com/nbcsnl 
SNL Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/snl
SNL Twitter: https://twitter.com/nbcsnl
SNL Tumblr: http://nbcsnl.tumblr.com/
SNL Pinterest: http://www.pinterest.com/nbcsnl/