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Trump Has Made Billions Of Dollars Disappear

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08:53   |   May 08, 2019

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Trump Has Made Billions Of Dollars Disappear
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  • WELCOME TO "THE LATE SHOW."
  • I'M YOUR HOST, STEPHEN COLBERT.
  • YOU KNOW, FOLKS, I LOVE NEW YORK BECAUSE IT IS NOT WASHINGTON,
  • D.C.
  • IT'S BAD DOWN THERE.
  • IT'S LIKE THE BATTLE OF WINTERFELL DOWN THERE.
  • THIS MORNING, DONALD TRUMP ASSERTED EXECUTIVE PRIVILEGE
  • OVER THE MUELLER REPORT.
  • EXCLUSIVE PRIVILEGE, OF COURSE, IS ACTUALLY TRUMP'S FAVORITE
  • PRIVILEGE, RIGHT AFTER WHITE, MALE, AND MAR-A-LAGO HANDICAPPED
  • BATHROOM.
  • ( AS TRUMP ) "I LIKE SOME ROOM TO SPREAD OUT,
  • BECAUSE GOD ONLY KNOWS WHAT'S ABOUT TO HAPPEN.
  • THIS CANNON IS LOADED, AND THE BARREL IS NOT RIFLED."
  • TRUMP'S PRIVILEGE CLAIM COVERS NOT ONLY THE MUELLER REPORT BUT
  • THE UNDERLYING EVIDENCE THAT HOUSE DEMOCRATS ARE SEEKING.
  • ( AS TRUMP ) "THIS REPORT IS A COMPLETE AND
  • TOTAL EXONERATION, AND IF ANYONE WANTS TO READ IT, I WILL CUT A
  • BITCH!" ( LAUGHTER )
  • NO SURPRISE, DEMOCRATS ARE NOT -- I'M PARAPHRASING, OBVIOUSLY,
  • PARAPHRASING.
  • NO SURPRISE, DEMOCRATS ARE NOT PLEASED, ESPECIALLY HOUSE
  • JUDICIARY CHAIRMAN AND MAN WHOSE PUDDING WAS SUPPOSED TO BE HERE
  • BY NOW, JERRY NADLER.
  • >> HE WANTS TO MAKE HIMSELF A KING, AND CONGRESS CANNOT PERMIT
  • THAT.
  • HE WANTS TO BE A MONARCH.
  • WE REBELLED AGAINST GEORGE III FOR THAT.
  • WE ARE NOT GOING TO TAKE IT NOW.
  • >> Stephen: TECHNICALLY, WE REBELLED AGAINST GEORGE III
  • BECAUSE WE DIDN'T WANT TO PAY TAXES, WHICH MAKES DONALD TRUMP
  • THE MOST PATRIOTIC AMERICAN WHO HAS EVER LIVED.
  • ( LAUGHTER ) ( APPLAUSE )
  • AS FAR AS WE KNOW.
  • ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) AS FAR AS WE KNOW.
  • ♪ ♪ ♪ TRUMP MADE THE EXECUTIVE
  • PRIVILEGE CLAIM TO PROTECT ATTORNEY GENERAL AND MAN SAYING,
  • "MR. BUNNY DOESN'T THINK THERE'S OBSTRUCTION EITHER," WILLIAM
  • BARR.
  • YOU SEE, BARR HAS REFUSED TO OBEY A CONGRESSIONAL SUBPOENA
  • FOR THE MUELLER REPORT AND UNDERLYING EVIDENCE, SO TODAY,
  • THE JUDICIARY COMMITTEE "VOTED TO HOLD BARR IN CONTEMPT OF
  • CONGRESS."
  • IT'S JUST-- ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
  • YES.
  • BIG NEWS.
  • PRETTY BIG.
  • >> Jon: YEAH!
  • >> Stephen: BIG TURNING POINT.
  • THOUGH, REALLY, IT'S JUST A FORMALITY BECAUSE AS SOON AS YOU
  • START WORKING FOR TRUMP, YOU'RE HELD IN CONTEMPT BY JUST ABOUT
  • EVERYBODY.
  • BUT TELL THE PRISON GUARDS NOT TO CAVITY SEARCH BARR YET,
  • BECAUSE THE JUSTICE DEPARTMENT CAN DECLINE TO CHARGE AN
  • OFFICIAL WHO DEFIES A SUBPOENA AT THE PRESIDENT'S DIRECTION.
  • YES, THE JUSTICE DEPARTMENT CAN DECLINE, THE SAME JUSTICE
  • DEPARTMENT THAT IS RUN BY BILL BARR.
  • ( CLEARS THROAT ) "AFTER CAREFUL CONSIDERATION,
  • I'M ISSUING A FOUR-PAGE MEMORANDUM ASSERTING THAT YOU
  • CAN KISS MY BIG BILLY BARR BUTT."
  • ( LAUGHTER ) NOW, TRUMP WANTS CONGRESS TO
  • MOVE ON FROM THE RUSSIA STORY, BUT THAT AIN'T HAPPENING,
  • BECAUSE TODAY, THE SENATE INTEL COMMITTEE SUBPOENAED TRUMP JR.
  • OVER RUSSIA MATTERS.
  • ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) UH-HUH.
  • AND I THINK-- OVER RUSSIA MATTERS AND I THINK THAT WHAERTS
  • IS THAT RUSSIA IS NOT OVER.
  • THIS IS A REALLY BIG DEAL, BECAUSE UNLIKE THE HOUSE, THE
  • SENATE IS RUN BY REPUBLICANS, WHICH MEANS THIS BATTLE COMES
  • DOWN TO A REPUBLICAN COMMITTEE CHAIR PITTED AGAINST THE
  • REPUBLICAN PRESIDENT'S ELDEST SON.
  • DONALD TRUMP MIGHT HAVE TO CHOOSE BETWEEN THE REPUBLICAN
  • PARTY AND HIS OWN FAMILY-- TWO THINGS HE WAS NOT A MEMBER
  • OF UNTIL 2016.
  • ( LAUGHTER ) ( APPLAUSE )
  • THIS IS-- "I DON'T THINK SO.
  • I DON'T-- I DON'T REALLY-- I DON'T WANT TO GET MIXED UP."
  • THIS IS A BIG DEAL FOR A LOT OF REASONS, ONE OF WHICH IS THAT
  • THIS IS THE FIRST CONGRESSIONAL SUBPOENA-- THAT WE KNOW ABOUT--
  • OF ONE OF PRESIDENT TRUMP'S CHILDREN.
  • ALSO, THE FIRST OF PRESIDENT TRUMP'S CHILDREN, THAT WE KNOW
  • ABOUT.
  • ( LAUGHTER ) ( APPLAUSE )
  • CHEER WE'LL-- WE'LL HAVE-- WE WILL HAVE MORE-- WE WILL HAVE
  • MORE ON THIS TOMORROW, UNLESS DON JR. TAKES A POWDER.
  • NOW, THERE'S MORE JUICY NEWS, BECAUSE THE "NEW YORK TIMES" GOT
  • TRUMP'S TAXES FROM-- WHAT IS IT?
  • '85.
  • TAXES FROM 1985 TO '94.
  • IT'S NOT EXACTLY WHAT YOU MEANTED.
  • IT'S SPENDING CHRISTMAS STRANDED AT THE TAMPA AIRPORT, NOT GREAT
  • BUT STILL CHRISTMAS.
  • THE "TIMES" DOVE INTO TEN YEARS' WORTH OF TRUMP'S TAX RETURN
  • INFORMATION, AND THE BIGGEST TAKEAWAY IS THAT, OVER THOSE TEN
  • YEARS, TRUMP REPORTED $1.17 BILLION IN LOSSES.
  • THAT'S $2 BILLION IN TODAY'S MONEY.
  • THAT IS MORE THAN THE G.D.P. OF GAMBIA-- OR, AS TRUMP MIGHT PUT
  • IT: ( AS TRUMP )
  • "I'M A (BLEEP)-HOLE COUNTRY!" ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
  • HE MIGHT-- HE MIGHT SAY THAT.
  • DIDN'T SAY HE WOULD.
  • KEEP IN MIND, '85 TO '94 WAS TRUMP'S PRIME.
  • THOSE WERE HIS SALAD DAYS, MINUS THE SALAD.
  • TRUMP WAS EVERYWHERE BACK THEN, PUSHING HIS CAREFULLY CRAFTED
  • BILLIONAIRE IMAGE.
  • JUST LOOK AT THE ARTICLE'S LEAD PHOTO.
  • WE FINALLY FOUND THE CENTRAL PARK DRACULA.
  • ( AS TRUMP DRACULA ) "I VANT TO SUCK.
  • AND I DO."
  • EVERYTHING WE THOUGHT WE KNEW-- ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
  • THANK YOU.
  • THANK YOU.
  • IT'S ONE OF MY CHARACTERS, ONE OF MY CHARACTERS.
  • EVERYTHING WE THOUGHT WE KNEW ABOUT TRUMP BACK THEN IS A LIE.
  • REMEMBER HIS CAMEO AS THE FANCY RICH GUY IN "HOME ALONE 2?"
  • NOW WE KNOW WHEN HE RECORDED THAT, HE WAS SO BROKE, HE HAD TO
  • BORROW MONEY FROM THE PIGEON LADY.
  • ( LAUGHTER ) TRUMP FIRED BACK THIS MORNING,
  • TWEETING, "REAL ESTATE DEVELOPERS IN THE 1980s AND
  • 1990s, MORE THAN 30 YEARS AGO, WERE ENTITLED TO MASSIVE
  • WRITE-OFFS AND DEPRECIATION WHICH WOULD, IF ONE WAS ACTIVELY
  • BUILDING, SHOW LOSSES AND TAX LOSSES IN ALMOST ALL CASES.
  • MUCH WAS NON-MONETARY.
  • SOMETIMES CONSIDERED 'TAX SHELTER, DOT-DOT-DOT-DOT-DOT-
  • DOT-DOT-DOT-DOT-DOT-DOT, YOU WOULD GET IT BY BUILDING, OR
  • EVEN BUYING.
  • YOU ALWAYS WANTED TO SHOW LOSSES FOR TAX PURPOSES.
  • ALMOST ALL REAL ESTATE DEVELOPERS DID-- AND OFTEN
  • RENEGOTIATE WITH BANKS.
  • IT WAS SPORT.
  • ADDITIONALLY, THE VERY OLD INFORMATION PUT OUT IS A HIGHLY
  • INACCURATE FAKE NEWS HIT JOB!" SO HIS ARGUMENT IS WHAT HE DID
  • WAS TOTALLY NORMAL AND, ALSO, HE DIDN'T DO IT.
  • ( LAUGHTER ) PICK A LANE, MR. PRESIDENT.
  • ( AS CRIMINAL ) "LOOK, OFFICER, I COULD NOT HAVE
  • COMMITTED THE MURDER.
  • I WAS IN MY APARTMENT ALL NIGHT.
  • PLUS, BACK THEN, EVERYONE WAS MURDERING.
  • IT WAS SPORT."
  • TRUMP'S TAX DOCUMENTS, THEY PAINT A PICTURE OF A MAN ALWAYS
  • LIVING ABOVE HIS MEANS.
  • FOR INSTANCE, IN 1987, HE SPENT $29 MILLION ON A 282-FOOT YACHT.
  • WHICH HE ULTIMATELY AGREED TO TURN OVER TO HIS LENDERS.
  • ( AS TRUMP ) "OH, REALLY?
  • YOU'RE GOING TO TAKE AWAY MY BOAT?
  • WITH WHAT, A BIGGER BOAT?
  • REALLY?
  • I'D LIKE TO SEE THAT.
  • THAT WOULD BE--" OF COURSE, IT'S HARD TO PUT A
  • POSITIVE SPIN ON THESE REVELATIONS, UNLESS YOU'RE A
  • FOX & FRIEND.
  • >> SO, I THINK IT'S INTERESTING TO READ THIS ARTICLE.
  • IT'S INTERESTING TO SEE THAT HE HAD A $29 MILLION BOAT, OR THAT
  • HE HAD THIS-- >> THAT'S A BIG BOAT.
  • >> Stephen: THAT'S THE SPIN.
  • THAT'S THE SPIN-- "BIG BOAT."
  • ( AS FOX & FRIEND ) "FOLKS, THIS IS A COMPLICATED
  • STORY, SO LET'S TAKE OUT ALL THE VERBS.
  • BIG BOAT.
  • FIRE BAD!
  • TRUMP GOOD!" ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
  • BIG BOAT.
  • ♪ ♪ ♪ THEN THEY SERVED THE NEXT COURSE
  • OF THE BREAKFAST PROPAGANDA.
  • >> IF ANYTHING, YOU READ THIS, AND YOU'RE LIKE WOW!
  • IT'S PRETTY IMPRESSIVE, ALL THE THINGS HE HAS DONE IN HIS
  • LIFE!
  • IT'S BEYOND WHAT MOST OF US COULD EVER ACHIEVE.
  • >> THAT'S THE WAY HE LIVED.
  • THE REASON WHY WE ALL KNEW DONALD TRUMP'S NAME IS FOR 30
  • YEARS, THAT'S WHAT HE DID.
  • HE BOUGHT TOWERS, HOTELS, GOLF COURSES.
  • HE DID IT IN OTHER COUNTRIES.
  • WHAT DO PEOPLE NOT UNDERSTAND ABOUT HE'S A LITTLE BIT
  • DIFFERENT THAN MOST PEOPLE?
  • >> Stephen: YES, WE'VE NOTICED HE'S A LITTLE DIFFERENT.
  • IF HE WERE MOST PEOPLE, HE'D EITHER BE IN JAIL RIGHT NOW OR
  • NAPPING ON THE COUCH WHILE HIS CHILDREN QUIETLY DISCUSS THE
  • NEXT STEPS.
  • ( LAUGHTER ) ( APPLAUSE )

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Description

The New York Times got their hands on Trump's taxes from the nineties, which tell a much different story about his finances than he did.

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