Things that Freak Me Out

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09:28   |   Feb 24, 2017


Things that Freak Me Out
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  • Jadien: you may or may not have picked up on this yet
  • but I'm not the most confident, brave...
  • "WOAH! HEY! LOOK AT ME! I'M THE TOTALLY BEST!" Kind of person.
  • I'm shy, and nervous, and self-conscious, and uh...
  • PSSSHH mess
  • There's a lot of bigger, important things that I worry about...
  • But I'm just gonna talk about the stupid ones that will probably make you think I'm just...
  • dumb
  • Gotta keep it upbeat and entertaining!
  • I can't be creating swirling vortexes of existential crisis and self-doubt (lolz)
  • Yet
  • Judge me if you want, but I mean
  • I can't help but be pointlessly freaked out about these things
  • I'm sure you've got your weird triggers too!
  • Loud flushing toilets
  • ...where I haven't been scared of loud flushing toilets.
  • It's just the fact that...
  • especially if you're in a stall...
  • you're locked in this tiny space with this solitary isolated toilet bowl, and it's always a gamble.
  • Some toilets are really nice and quiet, and they just go...
  • *Frrrrrssssshhhhh....*
  • It's the freaking biggest relief of my day...
  • ...when I think a toilet's gonna pull some ungodly sound outta nowhere...
  • ...but it turns out to be practically silent.
  • I get overwhelmingly happy!
  • Probably too much to be considered...
  • Normal anymore...
  • But then there's the ones you flush... and all of a sudden...
  • You've just released Satan himself!
  • and the thousand tortured souls from the fiery pits of Hell!
  • Just......
  • *Slam*
  • *Windows Startup Sound*
  • I go into mental breakdown stage!
  • I can't-- I can't even move!
  • Have you ever seen the videos of like goats or some other animal, where they just freeze and fumble over if they get startled?
  • ...That's me.
  • But I d--I don't fall down.
  • If I'm in a house where there's a bunch of extra room in the bathroom, I get as far away from it as possible.
  • Immediately.
  • But again...
  • ...if I'm in a stall, I have to end up just pressing myself against the door as much as I can and wait for it to end.
  • "Jaiden, ya bimbo, if you're so terrified, why don't you just leave the stall?"
  • *Pfft*
  • Uhh, well, good sir, have you ever noticed that bathroom stalls tend to mainly open INWARDS?
  • That means in order to leave, you gotta step CLOSER to the toilet.
  • Uhmm......
  • no, thank you.
  • That's the OPPOSITE of what I want.
  • I'd rather just be a frozen victim for 10 seconds!
  • What factories even make loud flushing toilets anymore?
  • Just make them all quiet!
  • Please?
  • I'm getting tired of pressing that dumb button, and all of a sudden, all the Jurassic Park movie start screeching at me at the same time!
  • *Terrifying dinosaur sounds*
  • I'm slowly falling into insanity...
  • Speaking of bathrooms...
  • You know those public hand dryer things?
  • The ones where you have to stick your hands in and it blasts air?
  • I- I can't do those!
  • I have this image in my head, where I put my hands in...
  • and then some cyborg future handcuffs lock onto my wrists...
  • ...and I get kidnapped by a hand dryer.
  • Like an evil bathroom transformer waiting for its next human victim...!
  • Well too bad, you dumb hand dryer! You can't fool me!
  • *Shakes water off of hands*
  • And speaking of hands...
  • I'm just on a roll with these transitions today!
  • I'm self-conscious of them.
  • No--I'm not just afraid of hands in general,
  • That's Chirophobia.
  • I had to look that up!
  • I have this dumb thing where my hands are always cold...
  • Not just like, "Oh your hands are a bit cold!"
  • They're FRIGID!
  • It's so bad that I'm actually very nervous about shaking people's hands or giving high-fives...
  • ...just because they're so cold.
  • Whenever you meet someone new, you normally shake their hand...
  • But I don't wanna shake their hand if their first impression of me is gonna be:
  • "Hi, I'm Jaiden!"
  • BOOM! I'm secretly an ice witch, and you've just been cursed with the power of a million ice cubes!
  • How about instead of shaking hands...
  • we just do... finger guns!
  • I like that idea much better!
  • Like, we've all been in that situation where you have to say "bye" to someone, and it's like...
  • "Well, shoot... am I supposed to shake their hand... or hug them... or whatever other confusing goodbye motion..."
  • Just do finger guns! Less confusion!
  • And contact!
  • I'm sure the mysophobes (or Haphephobes) can agree with me on that one.
  • And with high-fives...
  • Normally it's not that bad, but I still try to minimize it to the least amount of physical contact as I can.
  • Someone goes, "High-five!"
  • And I just smack their hand as fast as possible.
  • It's weird and noticeable sometimes...
  • but trust me, I'm doing you a favor.
  • What else can I be stressed about?
  • Time limits in video games!
  • The less amount of time, the worse it is!
  • I just can't stand the feeling of a constant...
  • "You'd better hurry up and complete your mission... you only have a limited amount of thinking time..."
  • "...every action you do that has no impact on furthering your path is a mistake..."
  • "You're doing everything wrong, and your inevitable punishment is steadily approaching! "
  • Even in Mario!
  • I mean, it doesn't affect me too much...
  • Because the timer is up in the corner and not in your face like some games...
  • ...and there's typically a lot of time.
  • But as soon as that music gets faster...
  • Oh boy, everything just got intense!
  • Better hurry up, Jaiden.
  • "Ohh I'm in trouble now, time to sprint!
  • No time to look for secrets or nothing...
  • ...I'm about to have an aneurysm here!"
  • Our lives are a time limit when you think about it...
  • Back when I was a kid, I had this Gameboy Advance SpongeBob game...
  • And for the 2nd level, you had to get SpongeBob to the top of Sandy's tree house by hopping up branch platforms...
  • But the thing was, there were bird baths scattered around...
  • ...and you only had a limited amount of time to get to the next bath before SpongeBob dried out.
  • I was so scared of running out of time...
  • I never got past the level!
  • I stood at the bottom, just sitting in the bath, occasionally stepping out, only to get extremely panicked to see the time start ticking down and hop back in!
  • I really wanna play that game again.
  • I've gotten better at video games since then, and I kinda wanna experience the other 95% of that game...
  • ...And I bought the game. *Laugh*
  • I bought the game again because I wanted to play the level and prove to you...
  • That I can beat it!
  • So yeah, I'm just gonna...
  • I have my Gameboy... and I'm gonna play the level.
  • Look at this nostalgia though!
  • I haven't played this in...how many years?
  • At least 10.
  • Oh my god. *Chuckle*
  • What am I doing?
  • This is one of those games where it didn't even save your progress...
  • you had to enter a password!
  • Oh my god, the pressure is on actually.
  • Look at this... it only gives you 20 seconds! What the heck? That's... pressure at the max.
  • All right. Oh it's SpongeBob.
  • And then you get like the spatulas, people are gonna say, get the—
  • Hey it's Ari!
  • Thanks Ari.
  • Should I become a gaming channel? This is totally gaming channel status.
  • Oh, no! just kidding :(
  • And...alright. See?
  • Dang...
  • "Hot and Cold"
  • I don't know what my problem is here,
  • I've just never liked it.
  • If you don't know what I'm talking about, "Hot and Cold" is a game where you try to find something based on audio hints other players give you
  • "Cold" means you're farther away,
  • "Hot" means you're getting closer.
  • So basically, you're walking around aimlessly, while other people are screaming at you.
  • That's how my mind interprets it anyway.
  • I can't cope with the constant input from people based on my every action...
  • And it gets worse when I'm getting closer!
  • With every step, people are getting more and more intense at me...
  • And I feel like something's just gonna pop up outta nowhere and...
  • ...uhm...
  • Stab me?
  • "You're getting warmer..."
  • "You're hot"
  • "You're steaming..."
  • "You're on fire..."
  • "You're in a VOLCANO!"
  • "You're—"
  • "STOP!! You're freaking me out!"
  • I can't handle all this intensity!
  • I just wanna run away, back to the cold area!
  • It's calm over there.
  • It's chill. *Air Horn*
  • Last one I'll talk about here...
  • Before YouTube, and even since I was a kid,
  • I've always been self-conscious about my voice.
  • But for different reasons.
  • When I was young, somehow I started believing
  • "Wow, my voice is really low compare to other girls."
  • "People are gonna think I'm a boy."
  • ...That one didn't make too much sense.
  • I don't know how I came to that conclusion.
  • I don't believe in that one anymore.
  • But recently, it's been more of
  • "My voice is weird and awkward and mumbly, and I don't like it."
  • I'm really reserved, so I think since I never did much talking, my voice wasn't able to develop as much and get as strong as it could be.
  • It's funny, when I first started making videos, when I had to sit down and record...
  • ...which back then, only took like 15 minutes
  • Which I'm like, pfft, I wish it only took 15 minutes to record audio now.
  • But even after those recording sessions...
  • My throat would hurt and end up being really sore, because I wasn't used to talking that much for that long.
  • It was kinda pathetic.
  • But now, it literally takes 6 hours to get my audio done,
  • So I've come a long way.
  • I've been swinging back and forth between being self-conscious and just being okay with my voice...
  • ...because I still think it's a bit too mumbly and weird.
  • But I've been reading some comments, like
  • "Oh, Jaiden, I really like your voice!"
  • Which I mean, thank you!
  • But I...I don't really see it.
  • But if...if you enjoy it, then I'm glad!
  • My vocal cords, say "thank you".
  • Thank you.
  • There's a bunch of other things that I wanted to talk about that I didn't get to mention,
  • Like phone calls,
  • I can't really handle phone calls.
  • This day and age, people seem to only call if they need something or along that line,
  • And I just think, "What do they need? What are they gonna ask me? What if I don't have an answer? What if I waste their time?"
  • "I don't know what they want from me, the possibilities are endless!"
  • "OH MY GOD!!"
  • And then I end up...not picking up the phone.
  • (Chuckle)
  • ...and just freak myself out.
  • Also, eating food in front of the people
  • I know that one is a bit more common.
  • But I'm really like
  • self-aware about that too.
  • I feel like someone's gonna judge me on what I order and how I eat it and other nonsense that practically no one does.
  • Yeah, I don't know.
  • Maybe I'm a freak for being nervous about so many things, maybe I'm not,
  • I don't really know anymore
  • Talk to you later, bye!
  • ...I'm doing finger guns.

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