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Sexual Harassment Charlie - SNL

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05:43   |   Dec 09, 2017

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Sexual Harassment Charlie - SNL
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  • >>> ALL RIGHT, FOLKS. CAN I GET YOU TO GATHER OVER
  • HERE, PLEASE. SORRY TO INTERRUPT YOUR LUNCH,
  • EVERYONE. I JUST WANT YOU ALL TO BE CLEAR
  • THAT HERE AT BETA CORP. WE HAVE A ZERO TOLERANCE FOR WORKPLACE
  • SEXUAL HARASSMENT AND ALL OFFENDERS WILL BE TERMINATED.
  • [ APPLAUSE ] THAT BEING SAID, UNFORTUNATELY,
  • WE HAD TO FIRE OUR CFO, DOUG GIFFORD.
  • >> HEY, FINALLY. >> YEAH, GOOD RIDDANCE.
  • >> BASTARD. >> AND ALSO OUR FRONT DESK GUY,
  • CHARLIE. >> OH.
  • >> NOT CHARLIE. >> AND IF IT'S OKAY,
  • WE HAVE ASKED THEM TO COME OUT AND FORMALLY APOLOGIZE TO ALL OF
  • YOU BEFORE THEY LEAVE. COME ON OUT HERE, GUYS.
  • >> THANK YOU, GLEN. I JUST WANT TO SAY TO ALL OF YOU
  • THAT I AM DEEPLY AND TRULY SORRY FOR ANYTHING INAPPROPRIATE THAT
  • I MAY HAVE DONE WHILE WORKING HERE.
  • >> YEAH, MY BAD. >> TO JANET IN PARTICULAR.
  • I KNOW THAT I PLAYFULLY REFERRED TO YOU AS MY LITTLE HONEY BEE
  • AND IT MADE YOU FEEL UNCOMFORTABLE AND I KNOW NOW
  • THAT IT WAS WRONG AND I'M SORRY. >> IT WAS GROSS, AND YOU ARE
  • GROSS. >> JANET, I KNOW SOMETIMES YOU
  • WOULD WALK BY ME AND I WOULD SAY SOMETHING LIKE, MMMM, MMMM
  • THEN I'D SHAKE MY HEAD, DO A LITTLE DANCE AND ASK YOU NOT TO
  • HURT NOBODY WITH THAT THING. IT WAS WRONGFUL I'M SORRY.
  • >> CHARLIE, YOU ARE SO CRAZY. >> OH, THAT IS CLASSIC CHARLIE.
  • >> OKAY. AMANDA, THERE WAS ONE TIME AT A
  • MEETING RECENTLY WHERE I COMMENTED ON YOUR DRESS AND YOUR
  • FIGURE. AND EVEN THOUGH I MEANT IT AS A
  • COMPLIMENT, APPARENTLY IT WAS STILL INAPPROPRIATE, SO FOR THAT
  • I'M SORRY. ?
  • OH, APPARENTLY? OKAY, WELL,
  • APPARENTLY YOU STILL DON'T GET IT.
  • AND THAT'S WHY THEY FIRED YOUR CREEP ASS.
  • >> YEAH! [ APPLAUSE ]
  • >> MANDY, MANDY, SWEETER THAN CANDY.
  • I REMEMBER I SAID SOMETHING ABOUT THAT DRESS, TOO.
  • I THINK IT WAS ALONG THE LINES OF MMMM, MMMM, MMMM, MMMM.
  • WOMAN, YOU THICKER THAN A BOWL OF BISCUIT BATTER. WHY DON'T YOU
  • MAKE OLD CHARLIE A PAIR WITH EXTRA JELLY. THEN I DID MY
  • LITTLE DANCE, TOLD YOU NOT TO HURT NOBODY WITH THAT THING.
  • IT WAS INAPPROPRIATE. THAT'S MY BAD.
  • >> OH CHARLIE, YOU ARE TOO MUCH. >> YOU KNOW I AIN'T GOT NO
  • SENSE. >> GLEN, YOU CAN'T FIRE CHARLIE.
  • IT'S JUST CHARLIE. >> IT WAS A CORPORATE DECISION,
  • DENISE. MY HANDS ARE TIED.
  • >> DENISE. >> WHAT, CREEP?
  • >> I KNOW THAT YOU DIDN'T LIKE ME SUGGESTING TO YOU THAT YOU
  • WOULD GET AHEAD FURTHER IN THIS BUSINESS IF YOU SMILED A LITTLE
  • MORE. IT WAS JUST ADVICE.
  • >> WELL, IT SUCKED. AND YOU SUCK.
  • >> YEAH, THAT IS LEGIT AWFUL, DOUG.
  • >> I KNOW. THAT'S WHY I'M SAYING SORRY NOW.
  • >> DENISE -- AT ONE TIME I THINK I MAY HAVE
  • SUGGEST IF I WAS 11 YEARS YOUNGER I WOULD PUT YOU IN A
  • LARGE SACK, THROW YOU IN THE TRUNK OF MY ELDORADO AND DRIVE
  • YOU TO MY SISTER BETTY'S HOUSE WITH THE MEDICAL BED, AND THEN
  • I'D CRACK OPEN ALL THE WINDOWS AND SHOW YOU A GOOD OL' TIME FOR
  • 28 MINUTES. >> I GUESS THAT'S MY LOSS,
  • CHARLIE. >> HOW ARE YOU OKAY WITH THAT?
  • >> SHUT UP, MAN, THAT'S JUST CHARLIE.
  • >> YEAH, HE'S JUST A SWEET OLD MAN.
  • >> GLEN, YOU JUST CAN'T FIRE CHARLIE.
  • IT'S THE HOLIDAYS. >> BELIEVE ME.
  • I DON'T WANT TO. I WISH I WAS JUST FIRING DOUG,
  • TOO. >> WHAT?
  • >> OH, DON'T WORRY ABOUT ME SWEET SEXY JENNY.
  • MAYBE I CAN GET A JOB AT SANTATOWN, THEN I COULD SNEAK
  • DOWN YOUR CHIMNEY, TIE UP YOUR OLD MAN, CRACK OPEN ALL THE
  • WINDOWS AND GIVE YOU A 28 MINUTE PRESENT.
  • MMMM MMMM, DON'T YOU HURT NOBODY WITH THAT THING.
  • >> THANK YOU CHARLIE. >> THANK YOU?
  • HE SAID HE WANTS TO BREAK INTO YOUR HOME, TIE UP YOUR HUSBAND
  • AND CRACK OPEN THE WINDOWS FOR SOME REASON.
  • >> THAT'S TO GET THE FUNK OUT. >> OKAY.
  • AND THEN HAVE SEX WITH YOU. >> OKAY, DON'T MAKE IT GROSS,
  • DOUG. >> YEAH, WHY DO YOU HAVE TO MAKE
  • EVERYTHING SEXUAL? >> HE'S A SWEET OLD MAN, WHAT'S
  • YOUR DEAL? >> LOOK, IT JUST -- IT FEELS
  • LIKE YOU GUYS ARE GOING EASIER ON HIM CAUSE CHARMING OLD BLACK
  • MAN AND HE HAS DONE WAY WORSE STUFF.
  • >> BUT IT'S CHARLIE. >> WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?
  • >> LOOK, MAYBE DOUG IS RIGHT. TOMMY, YOU REMEMBER THAT TIME I
  • MET YOUR FINE ASS WIFE AT THE OFFICE CHRISTMAS PARTY?
  • >> OF COURSE I DO, CHARLIE. I REMEMBER THAT.
  • >> YEAH, I HELD UP HER HAND AND TWIRLED HER AROUND AND YELLED
  • OUT, AIN'T NO WAY LITTLE BITTY TOMMY HITTING THIS THING,
  • RIGHT. >> YEAH.
  • >> AND LATER ON I SAW YOUR JUNK IN THE URINAL AND IT WAS A GOOD
  • SIZE. SO, I WENT BACK OUT TO THE PARTY
  • AND I YELLED OUT, I STAND CORRECTED, HOME BOY TOMMY IS
  • PACKING SOME HEAT." .
  • AND THEN EVERYBODY LAUGHED. >> YEAH.
  • >> YOU THINK THAT'S WHY I'M GETTING FIRED?
  • >> NO. NO, IT'S NOT, CHARLIE.
  • IT ACTUALLY HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH SEXUAL HARASSMENT.
  • CORPORATE SAYS THEY HAVE YOU ON CAMERA STEALING $380 IN PETTY
  • CASH. PLUS THEY FOUND HALF A POUND OF
  • COCAINE AND A BAG OF TINY BALLOONS IN YOUR LOCKER.
  • >> OH, OKAY. >> AND YOU SAVED A TON OF
  • PORNOGRAPHY ON TO THE LOBBY DESKTOP IN FOLDERS MARKED
  • CHARLIE'S STUFF. >> OH, YOU FOUND THAT.
  • >> YEAH. >> YEAH.
  • >> YOU SIGNED OUT THE COMPANY'S VAN, REPORTED IT STOLEN AND IT
  • WAS FOUND THREE DAYS LATER PARKED OUTSIDE OF A BROTHEL WITH
  • YOUR KEYS STILL IN THE IGNITION AND YOUR BROTHER
  • STILL ASLEEP IN THE FRONT SEAT. >> WHAT, CLARENCE WAS STILL IN
  • THERE? >> YEAH.
  • AND YOUR NAME'S NOT CHARLIE. IT'S RONALD WASHINGTON.
  • AND YOU ARE WANTED IN PENNSYLVANIA FOR KIDNAPPING.
  • >> OH, SO, IT'S STILL KIDNAPPING IF I BRING THEM BACK?
  • OKAY, THAT'S MY BAD. THAT'S MY BAD.
  • [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]

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Description

Two employees (James Franco, Kenan Thompson) apologize to their female colleagues (Melissa Villaseñor, Cecily Strong, Leslie Jones) for sexually harassing them.

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