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Pretending to be Your Boyfriend (with Danny Gonzalez)

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17:59   |   May 17, 2019

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Pretending to be Your Boyfriend (with Danny Gonzalez)
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Transcription

  • Hey guys, I just want to say make sure you stick around until the end of this video for a very special, exciting announcement
  • or you can just give skip to the end now and watch that and then come back, I don't really care. But make sure you watch the ending, okay? Thanks.
  • [DRAMATIC MUSIC] Oh my god!
  • This is insane!
  • I gotta call Danny.
  • [DIALTONE]
  • [DANNY'S PHONE RINGS]
  • DANNY: Hello? DREW: Hello?
  • DANNY: Drew? DREW: Danny, you gotta come over right now
  • DANNY: What? Now? DREW: Uh huh
  • DREW: I gotta show you a video, it's so funny.
  • DANNY: A what? You want me to come all the way there to watch a video? DREW: Uh huh
  • DANNY: Do you have any idea how far I am from you right now? DREW: Uh huh
  • DANNY: So you understand that it was ridiculous of you to call me DREW: Of course
  • DANNY: and you understand that I am coming over? DREW: Of course.
  • DANNY: Goodbye DREW: Okay bye
  • Wanna make a video? -Wanna make a video?
  • -Yeah, okay. Hey guy, welcome back to another beautiful day on YouTube where - oh, there you are -
  • where I'm going to be showing Danny
  • something insane that I found. -And boy am I excited!
  • Today I'm showing something to Danny that he's never seen before, hopefully.
  • I believe I haven't seen it, but he hasn't told me what he's showing me yet,
  • so even if I have seen it before, I'm gonna pretend I haven't seen it, so as to not hurt his feelings. -Yeah
  • Thank you, I appreciate that. -You're welcome
  • Buckle your seatbelts everybody
  • Because I think it's safe to say this might be my cringiest video so far? -Even cringier than hard rock Nick?
  • Yeah! So without further ado, Danny, have you heard of boyfriend role play?
  • Um, it's not porn is it? *laughter*
  • Ah yeah, I'm gonna be showing you porn today -Ha ok
  • DREW: A little not safe for work DANNY: No wonder it's going to be such an uncomfortable video.
  • Shout out to Hoodrat on twitter for sending me this first one, and then I was so intrigued that I fell down a rabbit hole for about four days,
  • this is all I've been watching for days, now. Let's start with the first one. This is the most popular one I've seen
  • DANNY: "Jealous Boyfriend Roleplay ASMR." Is he gonna be whispering in this? DREW: Well, let's find out.
  • DANNY: Okay
  • *VIDEO* [whispering] So how was your day?
  • [silence, chewing sounds]
  • [whispering] That's good.
  • [whispering] Me? Mine was okay, work is work.
  • So, how is it - I'm not getting jealous vibes from this guy. -No, don't worry
  • He gets very specific and that's the thing with these, it's as if he's having a two-way conversation with the viewer
  • you are his girlfriend in this situation, but he asks you questions--
  • Aww... I accept! -Danny, we're both married
  • [LOOKS AT WEDDING BAND] Oh yeah.
  • [whispering] You know, the boys needed me afterwards [in the club?] to help out with trash, so...
  • [whispering] I helped them and it was kinda lame, but whatever.
  • What? Did he say he needed help with trash? -Yeah, I think the boys needed his help with trash?
  • Is that what he said? [whispering] "Yeah all of my friends are always playing around in garbage."
  • You know the boys are -Yeah
  • [whispering] So how was your off-day?
  • [whispering] Dang.
  • [whispering] You lucky -What?
  • Well, that's the thing is like he's reacting to that he's reacting to what we're saying
  • Maybe he expected us to say something like, "I didn't touch any trash all day, I didn't have to help anybody with trash"
  • Yeah, it doesn't matter what you say to him. You want to have a conversation because he's such a heartthrob of a boy
  • and he's your boyfriend. -Uh huh. -So you would naturally want to have a conversation with him,
  • but it doesn't matter what you say, he kind of goes on this whole narrative. -Yeah, it seems like he answers with really specific things
  • [whispering] Yeah, I love frizbee.
  • And this could work well, if he answered with one generic things like, "oh, that's cool"
  • [whispering] Oh, y'all played... y'all played ultimate?
  • Yeah, I'm starting to feel like there should be like a script for our part in the description. -I was just about to say that.
  • Yeah, or at least someone in the comments should be like, "for those who are interested, here's what you're supposed to say."
  • No, most of the comments are just people being mad that he puts mid rolls in and they're trying to fall asleep
  • and it's like "I made this website with Wix™."
  • [whispering] Aw, you could have invited me! So basically in this scenario, we hung out with our friends - our group of friends - all day and didn't invite him
  • [whispering] So why didn't you invite me? -which..he was helping with trash all day, so
  • I don't think he could've come anyway. -He was with the boys covered in trash
  • [whispering] Wait...
  • [whispering] Jesse was there?
  • So this is where shit gets real. He gets up because he's kind of just like on
  • Tinder probably because he's so mad at you, but he gets up cuz we mentioned Jesse and he fucking hates Jesse. -Mmm
  • [whispering] You didn't tell me Jesse was gonna be there! -You didn't ask! -You were with the trash boys!
  • [whispering] Why are you being so secretive?
  • [whispering] What's so different about Jesse than, like...
  • [whispering] Tina or Greg?
  • Well, Greg™ is the fastest-growing army on the Internet -That's what makes him different from the other names
  • [whispering] You do realize Jesse's your ex, right?
  • I didn't!
  • That is- honestly, I did not!
  • I'm sorry, if I had known...!
  • [whispering] You know, you're hanging out with your ex...
  • I feel like he's adding things to the story and we're not allowed to contribute at all
  • like, you know, I could-I can't just be like "well, you know, "
  • "you fucked all the trash boys, right?" -Cos he's just gonna say whatever he wants to in that. -Mhm
  • [whispering] Shh! My parents...
  • So we're supposed to be like getting a little bit louder there, explaining it to him. -Right. Yes. We're getting a little riled up
  • Okay, a lot of props to him, a lot of this makes sense
  • Yeah. -It's just if we had gotten a script beforehand, it would have been very helpful
  • Yeah, this is a cold read and we don't even have the lines
  • [whispering] I'm not cute when I'm jealous, shut up.
  • [sniffs, adjusts headphones, smirks] [whispering] I'm not.
  • [whispering] I'm not jealous... I'm not.
  • So you get the idea. I started with that one cuz it's the most popular one but there's so much here.
  • Dennis! My boy Dennis! -Yeah, Dennis has a pretty devoted following.
  • Is he chewing gum? -Yeah, he does that in every video. -Yeah, but he was asleep! - Yeah!
  • [whispering] Here, open up.
  • Can you feel it?
  • [whispering] Open wide.
  • Yeah, do you? -Yeah.
  • [whispering] Alright babe, I've got some good news and some bad news.
  • You have a fever and you don't have a fever(!)
  • [whispering] The bad news is, you do have a fever.
  • Fuck! -Is he gonna show us the thermometer, I'd kind of like to see it. If he does show us the thermometer,
  • I'm gonna be kind of impressed if it has like a fever readout
  • Yeah, can you imagine? -Because he just stuck it next to the camera?
  • So I was expecting him to show us it and it to say like 70ºF [~21ºC]. You'll be like, "I think you have hypothermia."
  • [whispering] Maybe we can get the fever down a little bit. I'll just sit here and I'll keep you company.
  • And that's gonna get the fever down? -Yeah, is this guy a doctor? Cuz that's not true.
  • Yeah, no when you go to the doctor and he's like, "oh shit, you're burning up a 104°F [40°C]."
  • "I'll just sit here and keep you company." -He calls the receptionist,
  • "Hey, can you cancel the rest of my appointments for the day? I gotta stay with this patient. All right."
  • Uhh can I-- -[whispering] Shhh
  • Okay, I just think this is gonna help-- [whispering] Shhhh... my parents might hear.
  • [whispering] I put... some gum... in my mouth...because I...
  • [whispering] ...didn't want my breath to be bad
  • He knows how videos work though, right? -Hmm? -He knows that we won't be able to smell...
  • I can smell it. -Does it smell good? -Hmm
  • [whispering] I'll give you some Ibuprofen.
  • Ready!
  • [whispering] What did you get a headache from?
  • [pointing at mouths, unable to speak due to baby bird faces]
  • [whispering] I'm treating you well this time, babe, because...
  • [whispering] I have you some coke.
  • "He's treating me really well(!), he spent a dollar on a Coke™." -And then drank most it.
  • [laughing] Yeah, what the fuck?
  • [taps on glass for ASMR feels]
  • I like how he mixes in ASMR with it,
  • which I guess makes sense for the video, if it's supposed to be sleep inducing, but for the scenario we're in it's like,
  • Yeah it totally breaks my immersion. "Hey, sweetie. Here's your soda." [tapping on cup] "Okay. Thanks."
  • "No can I just drink? Can I just drink?"
  • [tapping intensifies]
  • Danny, can you just hand it to me? -Yeah. -Okay
  • [tapping on glass, ice clinks against glass] [whispering] Okay, here.
  • Here you go, Drew.
  • [Danny and Drew play soda-cup footsie, like lovers idly playing on a summer's day]
  • Why did he put it to the side of the camera?
  • [whispering] That's what a boyfriend does.
  • Do the plots from any of the other ones carry over into this one?
  • I don't think so. -Because I half expected him to say
  • [whispering] "Because that's what a boyfriend does...
  • [whispering] ...he wouldn't go play frizbee with some fucking Jesse."
  • Like, get right back into the argument we were having in the last video. -Right.
  • Also, like, is he supposed to be that close to us in real life? Like, is he having a conversation like--
  • [whispering] ...that's what a boyfriend does...
  • "Boyfriend Roleplay - [shouting] You're SICK!"
  • [shouting] With the-- [shouting, together] FLU!
  • [whispering] Shhhh... no no no no no
  • [whispering] Shh, it's okay, it's okay, it's okay, shhh.
  • I want to picture what he thinks we're saying to this. Why does he say, [whispering] "shhh no no no no?"
  • [whispering] shh no no no no
  • [dramatically] "I don't have the flu, my leg is broken! My femur is split in half!" -"I'm tied to this chair! I need to get out of here!"
  • [whispering, together] Shhh... no no no
  • [whispering] No, no no [ominous music]
  • I don't like this look he's giving us.
  • Come on, drink up. Drink the water.
  • Stop moving! It's spilling, it's spilling! -I know, I know. You have one nasty bug
  • Hey! -I'm here to take care of you sweetie, alright? Shhhhh...
  • [peck!]
  • Felt that in real life. -Lucky. -Oh, you're gonna-- oh
  • [grabs bucket] Okay, okay, okay, in the bucket
  • [Danny makes "zip" noise]
  • ...in the bucket...there we go
  • You just stand up and start peeing, he's like, "Okay, alright, you deserve that."
  • There we go. -I also like to think that this is so immersive someone actually with the flu who is about to throw up,
  • just throws up all over their phone, like "aww, I thought it was going in the bucket!"
  • "Noo! My phone's covered in throw up!"
  • [whispering] There we go, shhh...
  • I know, I know...
  • We're definitely not saying anything, we're vomiting right now, so what is he saying, "-vomiting-" "I know, I know."
  • Yes, you're still beautiful. [kiss]
  • This guy's a treat and a half. -You had a bad dream?
  • Yeah.
  • [strokes face]
  • "You had a bad dream?" [strokes face]
  • [whispering] I would never let anybody hurt you.
  • You hear me? -Yeah.
  • [whispering] I would never let anybody hurt you.
  • No, I promise you, I would never let anybody hurt you.
  • Are we saying, "no, you will let someone hurt me." -But I, uhm, can I give you some kisses?
  • [chew chew chew]
  • [police siren in background]
  • "Can I give you some kisses?" Immediately police sirens!
  • It's us from the previous video, being rushed to the hospital! -God, I'm sorry, but the
  • I'm sorry about the, uh, sirens going off
  • I hope it's not your fault, you shouldn't have to apologize for that. -They'll pass, it'll be okay.
  • Yeah, they're not just gonna drive in circles for hours
  • [long pause]
  • [mep]
  • [wolf howl in background]
  • Is it a... a wolf howling in the background?!
  • There's some weird subplot where there's like a werewolf running rampant in the town, there's like police cars chasing them.
  • [howling] Awoooooo!
  • "Dammit, we should have predicted this with the full moon tonight!"
  • Want me to give you a head massage?
  • Yeah?
  • Do you want a head massage?
  • Perfect. Thank you.
  • Good girl.
  • You know-- -That's enough of this guy
  • [text reads: it got too dark to film so we'll be back tomorrow] [jazz music in background]
  • All right, sorry about that guys but we're back, it's the next day, uh, how'd you sleep Danny? -I slept great actually.
  • I decided to try to watch one of these to fall asleep and-- -and it worked?
  • I didn't get past, like, five seconds of it. Yeah, I was out immediately. -Yeah, these are really effective. -Yeah.
  • I'm not sure because I was so relaxed, or cuz I was so scared that I kind of passed out
  • But yeah. -Yeah
  • You were so scared that you... the only way to escape how bad it was was to fall asleep. -Was to go completely unconscious, yeah.
  • That's funny you say that about watching them last night because I realized last night that Michaela, and her friend Diana, have already reacted to this Dennis ASMR guy.
  • Oh. -I think I didn't notice because I probably started watching that video and was so uncomfortable that I had to turn it off,
  • which is probably what people will do this one. Yeah, good. Yeah
  • Yeah, that bodes well for us(!)
  • So, I think my main takeaway so far is the weirder
  • this gets, the more normal where we started seems. Even boyfriend role play.
  • It's like, "okay It's just a guy talking to a camera,"
  • but the further you fall into this rabbit hole, the more and more specific the videos get.
  • It starts becoming situations that I don't even think I'd want to imagine being in; "Boyfriend Saves You From Drowning?"
  • Okay. -Because it's always good to pretend you just drowned?
  • Yeah, well, maybe it's nice to imagine that if you did drown, your boyfriend would save you. -Yeah
  • [whispering] Oh my gosh, good lord...
  • [whispering] I've been pushing on your chest for about 20 minutes. There's no explanation for how I feel right now. It's more than terrified--
  • Yeah, me too. I'm the one that almost died. -Yeah, can you be the strong one in the situation, maybe?
  • I'm just scared. -Imagine waking up from being unconscious for 20 minutes because you drowned in your boyfriend standing there, like,
  • [quivering] "Eeeeerh! I'm so glad you're awake! Help me!"
  • [shaking voice] "What if I'm next?!"
  • But you see what I'm saying about, like, what a weird specific situation.
  • "Boyfriend I'm Sorry I Cheated" "ASMR Friendly Ghost Roleplay" "Jealous Boyfriend Returns"
  • Yes, he broke up with you, but he returned from a breakup, to be jealous again.
  • "I'm your boyfriend again, alright!"
  • "Asthma Attack Comfort After Bear Attack." -You are not having a good day
  • Hey
  • Look at me. Wait what the heck happened to your face? What happened your face?
  • "What's going on here?" -"What'd you do? I don't like it." -"Is this is a new makeup look?" -"Why'd you do this?"
  • You get stuck in an elevator, "Memory Loss Comfort," Bipolar Comfort..." Oh, "Miscarriage Comfort."
  • Jeez.
  • "Couple Comforts Burglar???"
  • [crying] "Awwww, I never steal anything! I'm doing such a bad job" -"
  • "Hey, don't talk like that!" [happy sound]
  • "Werewolf Boyfriend?" That must be from the other video, where we heard the werewolf outside.
  • Holy shit! [losing it] Everything's coming together!
  • [whispering] This curse... every full moon...
  • That's a quiet werewolf. -Yeah, he's like "Oh! A full moon! I'm changing! [screaming]
  • [whispering] "As soon as I saw you..." [whispering] "You thirsty?"
  • "ASMR Boyfriend Girlfriend Seizure"
  • I think if this guy's channel is any indication then you can pretty much come up with any random scenario and make an ASMR roleplay video and get like 34,000 views
  • Makes it seem easy, but I wonder how easy it actually is. -Yeah.
  • [soft background music]
  • [whispering] Oh, you're awake,
  • [whispering] Good.
  • [exhales]
  • [whispering] I was so scared when you passed out.
  • [whispering] I don't know why you would do that, why did you do that?
  • [whispering] Ohmigod babe are you okay? You fell off your scooter.
  • [whispering] You did it on purpose?
  • [whispering] ...no, I think you're just saying that cuz you're embarrassed. Anyway, please don't do that again,
  • I was so scared that you were gonna fall off and knock me over.
  • [whispering] We noticed you were having some trouble pooping.
  • [whispering] Yeah, we were just-- we're your boyfriend. Yeah, we were just in the other room. -And we're jealous.
  • [whispering] We're so jealous of the toilet right now. -Yeah
  • [whispering] Like, it's a front row seat.
  • [whispering] I brought you something to help, you, ah...
  • [whispering] ...to help you. I know how much you like water, so I got you, um
  • [whispering] A really tiny little bit of water.
  • [whispering] I figured you were probably pretty thirsty by now, so I brought you some barbecue sauce
  • Yeah, I can pour it in a cup
  • [gently taps on water bottle]
  • [whispering] Okay, here you go.
  • [whispering] I know you've been having a really hard time, because your parents just got divorced, and
  • you just got attacked by that bear. -and it kind of looks like you broke both your legs when you fell
  • That was pretty dumb. I don't know why you did that
  • [whispering] Everybody hates you, did you know that?
  • [whispering] We noticed that you were spending all your time with this toilet, so...
  • [whispering] ...we just wanted to come help.
  • [whispering] And maybe when you're done we might... have a little chat with the toilet. -Yeah.
  • [whispering] Teach him about boundaries.
  • [whispering] Yeah, poop in his mouth.
  • [whispering] And poop- poop in his mouth.
  • [whispering] Oh shh shhh shh [whispering] Shh shh shh
  • [whispering] Shhhhhh no no no no shh no
  • [whispering] Sh sh no no no no no no
  • [whispering] I know, I know, I know, I know.
  • [whispering] Shhhhh -It's okay.
  • [whispering] Stop, I know you're scared. -I know.
  • [whispering] I know I'm scared. -I know.
  • [whispering] Shh. -I know I know shh
  • [whispering] We're so scared. -We're so scared. We're so [sobbing] scared.
  • [whispering] Okay, we'll be back later [sobbing]
  • [sobbing] I'm so scared.
  • All this shit is making me so uncomfortable.
  • Yeah, I feel like I just need to, like, get up and go somewhere. -Yeah, like, even out of this state
  • Yeah, what if we went to like one state and then again a different state and then... -A different state? -Yeah and then a different state?
  • We should think of something to do when we get to each state. -Right to pass the time.
  • Yeah, we could drown in every state. -I was thinking more something like...
  • ...perform the live comedy show that we've been writing for the past five months
  • Oh, the thing we've been writing for the past five months. -Mhm, that, the thing that we're gonna on tour with.
  • Oh! We should do that. -Yeah!
  • That's right, baby. We're going on tour: me, Drew Gooden. -Me, Dandy Gonzales and Curtis Connor.
  • Yep, It's true. I'm going on tour, with Drew and Danny. It's gonna be so--
  • That's great Curtis. -That's right, we're going on tour!
  • That's why we got these jackets! -Mhmm
  • We're going to wear them on tour. -And we're hoping that by simply going on a nationwide tour,
  • we can finally prove once and for all that we are [in unison] not the same person
  • We always get comments in our videos that our styles are super similar and we get
  • tweets about it all the time, people get us mixed up,
  • so we figured the only real way to prove that we're two different people is to be seen together in the same room
  • By as many people as possible about 500-1000 depending on the venue. -Right now we've only announced these cities
  • so if you live near one of these cities, get your tickets. If you don't live in these cities
  • there's a good chance that we will still be coming to your cities after we go to these cities
  • Do it again but say cities more. -Yeah.
  • We wrote basically like an hour and a half long comedy show, there's gonna be songs, there's gonna be sketches, there's gonna be some stuff we've already filmed that's gonna play on the screen,
  • And... then we don't have to do anything because it'll be on the screen but most of its gonna be live in person
  • And if us just sitting here talking hasn't done enough to convince you, we also just released a song and music video on my channel
  • It's actually the opener of the show and it's about us not being the same person
  • It basically sets up the premise of the show
  • So if you want to get an idea of what the show might be like, the song is a good place to start
  • So yeah, check that out on his channel. And then in that video, we'll probably tell you to watch this one
  • Yeah.- So then you just come back and watch this one
  • Yeah, and when you get here
  • Then you can ignore the part where we tell you to go watch that video because by then you'll have already seen that
  • Right but watch this one twice. -Yeah.
  • Alright Greg. Well, thanks for watching this video, if you're new here, make sure you subscribe and turn in my notifications to join Greg.
  • Thank you Josie, Josie, Ju for turning out my notifications, you are truly Greg,
  • and thank you, guy, for being a little stinker.
  • [Danny and Drew make strange "oow" noises"
  • [laughing] Bye! -Bye!

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TOUR TICKETS: https://www.wearetwodifferentpeopletour.com/
VIP only for now, GA tix go on sale MONDAY!
More cities will be announced next week!

In this episode of "uhhh can you stop doing that?", I take Danny with me down a rabbit hole of boyfriend roleplay videos. It is weird, it is uncomfortable, and it is exactly what you'd expect from a Danny and Drew collab.

Watch Danny's video: /watch?v=C8NHpvwS3sA
Watch Kurtis’ video: /watch?v=uwTOWSWD63o
Watch Mikaela's video: /watch?v=QTz891M65-Y

merch: (got some new stickers check em out)
https://www.drewgoodenshop.com/

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