Parked In My Spot

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00:00   |   Apr 30, 2018


Parked In My Spot
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  • *Classic Domics Music and Intro*
  • *snap*
  • Hey everyone, sorry I haven't been around this month
  • No, I didn't quit Youtube and yes, I did actually open a board game cafe in Mississauga
  • with the help of my friends and family and it's called GG Gaming Café!
  • (with the exclamation because that's how excited we are.)
  • Please come by and check it out if you're in the area
  • I can't guarantee that I'm always there, but if you do catch me feel free to say hello!
  • Anyway, this is a little fiasco that happened recently
  • some of you might know about this incident because I archived a bit of it on Twitter
  • But this is the whole story.
  • A few weeks ago, John and I were at the office late one night
  • and by night I mean 5:30 a.m. (. _ .)
  • I wanted to head back home to fool myself into thinking that it wasn't that late if I came home before sunrise
  • We drove into the parking garage of my building and headed down into the residential parking
  • Which is one level below visitors parking
  • and is separated by a door that can only be opened with a remote control
  • So tell me how this white Mercedes from Ohio is parked in my spot
  • how is this WHITE MERCEDES parked in my god damn spot
  • This has never happened to me before but it was pretty troublesome to have to deal with it this late at night
  • when all I wanted to do was just rest easy on my comfy bed.
  • So I circled back, headed up and out of my building complex, and back in to talk to the guard
  • Hey ummm *tsk*(ミ ̄ー ̄ミ)
  • Someone's parked in my spot...
  • The dude was really cool and understanding about it
  • He gave me a visitor's parking pass for the night and the number to call to report the perpetrator
  • I pulled back in and in front of my building and called the number
  • Hi. I live in (insert Dom's address)
  • and someone's parked in my spot.
  • The woman was also quite helpful.
  • Asked me if I had the necessary info to prove that the parking spot belonged to me
  • I told her that I'd have to head up to my unit to get it first and that I'd have to call her back
  • So we drove back in parked in [the] visitors [parking lot], went up to my unit, and found my documents.
  • To prevent the risk of embarrassing myself with an unintended fake call,
  • John and I went back down to make sure the car–which wasn't even from this country– was still there,
  • which it was.
  • So I called the number again, told the woman I got the documents.
  • She told me that unfortunately all dispatch were off duty at 6 a.m., and they wouldn't be available until 7
  • It was past 6.
  • Now I was pretty tired and I figured well,
  • I do have a spot to park in for the night
  • And I guess I shouldn't stress over this if I don't need to.
  • Then I remember that for my birthday my friend got me this book,
  • "You drive like an asshole and your parking sucks, too."
  • Basically, a book of tear out letters that you can passive-aggressively leave on people's cars
  • to let him know that you're upset over whatever reason is indicated on the note
  • I remember leaving it in my glove compartment, and if there was an opportunity to use one, this was it.
  • Unfortunately, and weirdly enough, there wasn't one for someone who stole your designated parking spot
  • However, the very first one happened to be, "Dear Asshole in the Gorgeous White Mercedes S-class."
  • And the vehicle in my spot was indeed a gorgeous white Mercedes S-class.
  • So I tore it out, left it on their windshield, and headed back up to my suite.
  • In hindsight, maybe I should have added an extra blurb to say that they weren't allowed to park there,
  • but it was 6 a.m. and my thought process was a bit muddled.
  • Now the question was,
  • "Do I wait an hour for dispatch to get back on duty, or do I–"
  • (-_-) zzz
  • Huh?
  • It was the next day.
  • Or, rather it was technically a few hours later,
  • but the way I put it, tomorrow doesn't arrive for me until I wake up.
  • I went down to the garage.
  • Empty.
  • Makes sense.
  • I mean, whether or not this person parked in my spot by mistake or they knew they weren't supposed to be there,
  • They surely would have tried to leave before someone noticed.
  • I wasn't sure when they parked in my spot, but if it was any time past midnight,
  • They probably thought, "Well, it's a work night, and if no one's parked here right now,
  • surely no one will be parked here until I leave early in the morning."
  • Sadly for me, I'm a night owl, and I don't follow that norm.
  • Sometimes I come home at 5:00 p.m.
  • Sometimes I come home at 5:00 a.m.
  • And after going through that day, it was indeed another 5 a.m. night.
  • Or I guess, morning.
  • You can tell by these patterns that I'm not the type to ever know what day of the week it is.
  • Once again John and I drove home from the office at around 5 a.m.
  • And as we drove down to my garage and around the corner I thought,
  • "Surely, I won't see a white Mercedes there.
  • Surely, they wouldn't Park in my spot again, right?" –Well...
  • This wouldn't be a good story if they didn't.
  • "White Mercedes from Ohio, why have you chosen me, and why is the note I left you still on your windshield???
  • Wait a minute. There's–there's something written on this."
  • They replied.
  • I don't know what this was–it looks like they were trying to write in ketchup
  • and immediately gave up. Like, in the middle of it he realized, "Oh shoot!
  • That's right! A-a PEN, yeah. That's–that's what you're supposed to write with. Why didn't I think of it before?"
  • "My humblest apologies
  • As I am but a simple man of little means.
  • The car is a small gift to myself after decades of long hours and sleepless nights.
  • My apologies for any wrong which I may have committed.
  • Signed, your lowly slave, Naeem."
  • Now this was his reply to my tear-off note, which simply made fun of his owning a nice car.
  • And I thought that what he wrote had some hint of sincerity and remorse until that last part,
  • Which instantly made it lose all merit.
  • And it seems he didn't at all suspect that the person who left this note is the one who owned the parking spot
  • Because he's here a second night.
  • "What the heck is this?"
  • Ok they've expended their benefit of the doubt card. They were doing this on purpose
  • Let me remind you about the security you have to get through to get in here.
  • There's the main gate where if you're a resident you can open the lane gate with your remote.
  • And if you're a guest you'd have to go through the guard who will ask you who you're visiting,
  • They'll call them, and upon affirmation they will open the gate
  • and let you through with a parking pass for the visitors parking in the respective building.
  • After that you enter the parking garage doors of the building
  • which the guard will open for you if they let you in
  • and after that is another garage door to the residential parking which I previously mentioned
  • Both nights when we arrived there was ample parking space in visitors
  • This person definitely tailgated someone and snuck in.
  • You can't just accidentally stroll in here two nights in a row.
  • I went back up, told the guard the same guy's in my spot again
  • He empathized with my lust for vengeance and we had a quick laugh about it.
  • And once again, I called the dispatch number
  • –"Hi, I live in (insert Dom's address)"
  • And someone 's parked in my spot."
  • –"Wait a minute aren't you the one that called last night?"
  • –"Uh, yeah, that-that was me. It's the same guy parked in my spot.. again."
  • –"Why didn't you call back yesterday?"
  • I explained that I wasn't a normal human and that I passed out after calling her the first night
  • She proceeded to be helpful and immediately sent out someone to our aid.
  • They arrived 15 minutes later and asked what our situation was.
  • I explained the somewhat amusing shenanigans of the past two nights
  • and like the gate guard and dispatch operator, he shared my desire for justice
  • Now how did he put it?
  • Ah, yes.
  • F*** this guy.
  • He asked if we wanted to tow him or just get him ticketed
  • and obviously we asked for a tow
  • Unfortunately, we've come across the same time constraint as the previous night;
  • all [of the] tows were getting off the road since we were approaching 6 a.m.
  • He was able to ticket him then, but if we wanted the tow we'd have to wait until 7:00 again.
  • I thought, "Hell yeah, we're waiting this time!"
  • We thank the guy for coming out, and we head back upstairs to wait for an hour
  • During that, we had a lot of time to think about it.
  • But as we approached 7 a.m.. I thought,
  • "This needs to be a trilogy. I have to give him a fighting chance.
  • I want there to be a third night,"
  • so I decided not to call for the tow and instead leave him another note on his windshield
  • Here's what I wrote,
  • "I express great empathy for a man who can achieve such grandeur in our current world of painful endeavors.
  • I accept your humble apology, and wish you the safest of travels returning to your foreign land.
  • I release you. You are now a free man (((((:
  • The 7th Hokage, Naruto.
  • PS. Hope to hear back from you soon."
  • I woke up the next morning expecting a reply to the note,
  • but all I found was a McDonald's bag of trash *Feels the disgust
  • and I had no choice but to assume it belonged to him
  • because he had one in his car the first night
  • Call me weird but I took his trash and looked inside to investigate
  • And take a peek into what kind of person this was.
  • I found many fast-food receipts along with the buns of the burgers that he ate
  • I guess he's trying to cut down on the carbs.
  • One of the McDonald's receipts was dated April 4th 3:25 a.m.
  • Which was the first night he parked in my spot
  • Which made sense because it was raining that night and his car was still dripping wet when we arrived
  • meaning he didn't come that much sooner than we did
  • The last thing I found that really bothered me
  • was a parking pass for a different condo building a few nights prior.
  • So you're telling me he was able to get a visitor's parking there, but not here?
  • Well I hope paying $45 to park in my spot was worth it because that's how much his ticket was
  • Once again we went through a normal day
  • and seeing as our buddy here was the type to go out and eat food at 3 a.m.
  • We figured we should head home a little later than that to see if he'd steal my spot a third time
  • But not too late that the tow trucks would be off the road
  • We headed back at around 4:30 and like our friend Naeem,
  • my parking spot was free.
  • I figured if he was back he might have attempted to park in another vacant spot,
  • so we drove around the residential garage in search of the culprit
  • I had to assume responsibility of protecting my building of this disease, but alas he was nowhere to be found
  • He's moved on to bigger and better parking spots
  • That..
  • Probably also don't belong to him
  • But who knows, he might return someday.
  • If he was here to visit someone he might be back to visit them again
  • And if he decides to park in my spot then
  • Well, I sure hope he can get a ride to the pound
  • Hey guys, I just want to take a moment to say that you're awesome.
  • Or better yet, you're a badass.
  • You probably don't hear that about yourself often, or you might not feel appreciated enough by others
  • But I think the first step towards being a badass is learning to appreciate yourself.
  • You guys see the comedic content I make and you might find it hard to believe that I have my slumps, too.
  • And so I recommend this book by Jen Sincero
  • And hopefully you'll get woke from the slump you may be in
  • and learn how to stop doubting your greatness and start living an awesome life.
  • (Subtitles made by die-hard Domics fans)
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