Parent Stories

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08:28   |   Jun 04, 2017


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  • Parents.
  • I, like many people, have parents. And even better...
  • I think they're pretty good ones.
  • My mom and dad have always wanted the best for me and my brother and didn't let us do stupid stuff like
  • lean back too far in our chairs at the dinner table.
  • So good job on not letting us be stupid guys.
  • Thumbs up. Gold Star.
  • Well I did lean back too far that one time but I'll give you a pass on that one.
  • And I learned my lesson.
  • Everyone has some sort of guardian figure in their life and I'm always going to be grateful I was able
  • to grow up in a loving family with good parents.
  • There's been ups and downs, arguments, disagreements.
  • But when it all comes down to it, they're just looking out for me.
  • "Jaiden, tie your shoes before riding your bike."
  • "Pshhhh. What do you know?"
  • I'm actually at a big step in my life right now because I'm moving out of their house.
  • I'll finally be out of the nest, making my own choices. A free bird.
  • If I want to have oatmeal for dinner, my family isn't going to be to walk in and look at me weird.
  • I don't care about your "oatmeal is a breakfast food". I like it and will eat when I desire. Just watch me.
  • Moving out has made me think a lot about my life growing up and everything my parents have done for me
  • to be able to get to this point.
  • And even though I could totally make a heartfelt video about all the sacrifices they've made
  • And nights they've spent caring for me.
  • I'm going to talk about funny, stupid stuff because that makes a better YouTube video.
  • I'm on my own now. I got bills to pay.
  • When I was little, I wasn't a picky eater. I'm pretty sure I ate almost anything on my plate.
  • Some kids are all,
  • "No. I do not like the taste of this mush and will not consume it, no matter what you tell me."
  • "I will sit here with a pouty lip and arms crossed for all eternity, in this high chair and when I die of starvation"
  • "it will be your fault."
  • "Hun, just eat the frickin' carrots."
  • Even though I wasn't a picky eater, my parents would always make up games to try and get me to eat
  • stuff I still didn't like.
  • One night we were all at the dinner table and my mom had the brilliant parent idea of saying,
  • "Hey, how about we have a contest of who can eat the most green beans the quickest?"
  • Harmless? Right?
  • She was just thinking it would be an easy and sneaky way for us to get in more vegetables.
  • But she underestimated my power.
  • "You dare challenge me? Not only will I win but I will eat the most green beans you've ever seen"
  • "anyone eat in their entire life."
  • I ate so many green beans in such a short amount of time that night.
  • I won. (Obviously. Because everyone else was a scrub.)
  • But after dinner I got really sick and my mom's plan kinda backfired.
  • But I still won. So...
  • Besides the infamous green bean eating contest. Which we never did again.
  • My mom always had a "Who can make the loudest carrot crunch?" competition.
  • I don't need to explain the rules. It's right in the name.
  • My brother and I would go crazy over that contest.
  • We didn't even think about how we were eating carrots. We just wanted to DEFEAT everyone ELSE.
  • It wasn't only until recently, I was thinking about it and went,
  • "Wait. Did you make that contest just so we'd eat more carrots?"
  • "Heh."
  • "Yea."
  • *gasp*
  • *whispers* "Betrayal."
  • Even my mom's sister was tricky with my cousins in getting them to eat their vegetables.
  • My mom told me stories about how when my cousin was just barely learning numbers and counting,
  • they would be eating dinner and she'd say to my aunt,
  • "Mommy, I don't want any more carrots."
  • "How about you just eat three more."
  • "How about...
  • five?"
  • "Hmm...
  • well okay
  • fineee."
  • Parents have become the masters of getting kids to eat vegetables. Which is good. I applaud them for it.
  • Nutrition is important, kids.
  • Like how many times, has your mom just randomly baked you brownies as a kid.
  • And how many times did you think about if there was broccoli in it.
  • "Ha. Gotcha kiddo. You're getting so much vitamin C and K right now, you don't even KNOW."
  • If you didn't know about that, there's a way you can hide broccoli in brownies as an easy way to get kids
  • to consume more nutrients without them fighting you because they only want to live off sugar.
  • Brownies are good at hiding a lot of stuff actually.
  • Have you ever heard of black bean brownies? There's ways you can add black beans to brownies
  • and no one will even know.
  • Here's one. Go and try it.
  • Uh. If you want.
  • It's a good way to add protein to your diet because everyone is so obsessed with protein
  • and for some reason society thinks it's the only macronutrient we ever need and carbs are the devil
  • and will destroy your life and kill everyone you love and
  • Nuh. That's a tangent for another video.
  • So yea, two people who didn't know, you can hide broccoli in brownies, black beans,
  • some people try other herbs.
  • Let's move on.
  • I'm going to tell this story cause it's kinda stupid and doesn't matter but I'm still a bit salty about this
  • so you'll probably get a kick out of it.
  • Every kid has their thing growing up.
  • Some liked dolls, some liked cars, some liked pushing other kids off the swings.
  • I was all about stuffed animals. They were my jam.
  • Still kinda are.
  • Anyway, one day I said,
  • "Hey. I like stuffed animals and I like Pokemon."
  • MOM: "Don't say frig."
  • My mind was blown. Two of my favorite things, combined together.
  • Blaziken was, and is, my favorite Pokemon so I was desperate to have this Blaziken Pokedoll.
  • I was willing to wash the dishes, clean the house, make a deal with the underlord, sell lemonade.
  • And since my mom is such a push over...
  • *BEEP*
  • And since my mom is so nice, she let me and my brother pick out a Pokedoll we each liked.
  • I, of course, picked out the Blaziken and my brother got the Totodile one.
  • And can we stop and appreciate this Totodile, by the way.
  • Let's continue.
  • So my mom ordered the plushes, they were like twenty bucks or something,
  • and we were pretty happy campers when they arrived.
  • I loved that Blaziken doll for a really long time.
  • But, of course as with most children and their toy, I started playing with it less after a while.
  • I still liked it. But I gradually stopped bringing it everywhere and eventually just kept it in my closet.
  • Maybe like a couple years ago, the memory of it just popped in to my head and I wanted to look at it again.
  • "Yea. I remember all the fun times I had with that doll."
  • "I'd take it everywhere I went, I'd fall asleep with it. Where did it go? I don't remember where it would be."
  • "Mom, do you know where my old Blaziken Pokedoll went? I can't find it."
  • "I got rid of it."
  • "YOU WHAT?"
  • Sometime when my mom was going through all her stuff, she decided to get rid of my Blaziken Pokedoll
  • I was crushed.
  • Pft. Well that is a bit extreme.
  • I went from having a normal day to having a bit of a less good day.
  • But then I thought, "Wait, I'm an adult. I can just find another one and just buy it myself."
  • "I don't need my mom's permission anymore."
  • So I looked on Google to try and find a new Blaziken Pokedoll
  • and apparently now they're ultra rare collector's
  • items that aren't even being sold anymore and freakin' worth a crap ton of money.
  • "Now I'm having even less of a good day."
  • Yea, apparently these things are worth more than a hundred bucks right now
  • and everyone desperate to have one.
  • And we bought it when it was like twenty dollars.
  • "MOM, do you realize what you've done?"
  • So it's become my goal. Someday I will have another Blaziken Pokedoll.
  • One. Because I really like it.
  • And two. I'm not a collector of anything but ...
  • now this might seem a bit evil to people in the rare collectors community...
  • I want to have as many rare Pokedolls as I can find just because I'm not a collector.
  • I want to have all these Pokedolls that are super rare and a collectors like,
  • "Holy crap! You have the set of Hoenn starter evolution Pokedolls. Can I have them?"
  • And I can be like,
  • "No-o."
  • "Ah! Do you realize how rare these are? Collectors like me would pay anything to have them."
  • "I know. And that's why I want it."
  • I'm on a journey to get as many rare Pokedolls as I can now.
  • I think my target is Blaziken, Swampert, and Sceptile because it's the trio and they're my absolute favorite.
  • *whispers* And they're stupid rare.
  • It's an evil plan, I know. But I...
  • think it's funny.
  • This video ended up being like 60% of me talking about getting tricked into eating vegetables.
  • I have more stuff to tell so I guess there's room for a sequel video.
  • It won't be next though because I like having other videos between sequels. But it's on the list.
  • It was also coincidentally my mom's birthday the other day. So happy birthday mom.
  • I'm going to take you out to dinner soon, I just had to get this video done.
  • But it's up now, so yea. Let me know where you want to go.
  • Anyway, I think there is something else I wanted to say here and I think it was important
  • because I remember thinking to myself,
  • "Oh, I don't need to write that down. It's too important for me to forget"
  • Or something like that.
  • And here we are. This is a bit awkward.
  • Watch. I'm going to remember right when I click 'Upload' for this video because that's totally something
  • my brain would do to me.
  • WELL. I guess that's that.

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And this tells me you read the description, which means you respect what I have to say! Thank you :D I give you a high-five! i just did it. did you miss it? well, darn then you should've been ready that's all you get you missed your chance. sorry, man