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‘OMKalen’: Kalen Recites Slam Poetry About Food

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00:00   |   Jul 27, 2019

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‘OMKalen’: Kalen Recites Slam Poetry About Food
‘OMKalen’: Kalen Recites Slam Poetry About Food thumb ‘OMKalen’: Kalen Recites Slam Poetry About Food thumb ‘OMKalen’: Kalen Recites Slam Poetry About Food thumb

Transcription

  • [JAZZ MUSIC]
  • Ow, what the hell is that?
  • [JAZZ MUSIC CONTINUES]
  • Karen, oh, Karen.
  • [DEEP INHALE]
  • (RHYTHMICALLY) Why don't you listen-uh?
  • I've told you once, and I'll tell you again,
  • those raisins don't belong in my potato sal-lad!
  • [SNAPS]
  • I know it's not your fault that you don't know what seasoning
  • is, but I'd like to introduce you to my homie, McCormick.
  • He's really not hard to find if you just go down his aisle.
  • But you act like you scared of him.
  • It hurts his feelings.
  • I can't lie.
  • But I wanna thank you because you've got me a check.
  • Look out, world.
  • Now I'm working with DeGeneres.
  • Karen, oh, Karen.
  • [SNAPS]
  • Ow, god!
  • OK, I get it!
  • [SNAPS]
  • What is love?
  • L-O-V-E!
  • To me, it's peach cobbler because I
  • reach to teach how to season your peach.
  • I preach for all the juicy fruits that I love to eat.
  • Strawberries, raspberries, pineapples, and chicken.
  • But I must cook in my own home because y'all don't wash them
  • in your kitchen!
  • Pasta, waffles, Kit-Kats.
  • Lemonade, Beyonce make us all want to get an upgrade.
  • See, I leveled up from fast food to hibachi.
  • So when you see me, take note.
  • Still a country boy from Kansas with limited eating habits.
  • But I'm still real picky.
  • [HIP HOP MUSIC]
  • [CHEERING, SNAPPING]
  • Ow, jeez!
  • OK!
  • OK!
  • Security!
  • Jesus!
  • Ever found a love like this?
  • Can't nobody love you like I do.
  • I love me.
  • I love me.
  • [SAD JAZZ MUSIC]
  • [SNAPS]
  • [CHEERING]
  • Oh, I forgot my phone.

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Description

Get snapping, because Kalen Allen is taking the stage and reciting slam poetry inspired by food, Karen’s unusual potato salad, seasoning, and Beyoncé.