My Cardboard Boat Racing Experience

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07:51   |   Jul 22, 2017


My Cardboard Boat Racing Experience
My Cardboard Boat Racing Experience thumb My Cardboard Boat Racing Experience thumb My Cardboard Boat Racing Experience thumb


  • What's in the box?
  • ◉_◉
  • I said what's in the box?
  • ◉_◉
  • I can make a great boat out of this.
  • So this one time when I was in the third grade,
  • for some reason our teacher thought it would be a good idea to get his entire class to participate in a...
  • cardboard boat race! :D
  • Cardboard boat racing is this event where teams of people build their own boats out of cardboard,
  • and then race against other people's cardboard boats.
  • Now, you might be thinking that cardboard really isn't the best material to make a boat out of.
  • And you're right.
  • - But cardboard is cheap
  • - But cardboard is cheap - You can get big pieces of it
  • - But cardboard is cheap - You can get big pieces of it - And they float in the water for a little bit
  • Perfect for making boats out of!
  • It's good short-lived entertainment.
  • It's yachts of fun!
  • Apparently, a lot of other schools got their students to do cardboard boat racing
  • I thought it was just a strange thing my teacher made us do,
  • but if other teachers did it, I guess he wasn't the only weirdo...
  • I don't know what cardboard boat racing is supposed to teach you
  • Maybe teamwork skills and shipbuilding?
  • I mean it would come in handy if I was stranded on an island
  • with cardboard and duct tape and I could tell everyone:
  • "Don't worry guys, I learned how to make boats out of these things in the third grade!"
  • But no one else in my school did cardboard boat racing
  • It was just my class!
  • And I think part of the reason we did this
  • was because the class I was in was an honors class.
  • So...
  • We were better than everyone else.
  • Guys,I need to tell you about how friggin smart I am!
  • So in the second grade everyone took this test to see if you would get put into the honors class,
  • which, I'm going to be honest, I don't remember taking it
  • I just remember my mom sitting me my twin sister down
  • and telling us that we weren't going to be in the same class anymore
  • because I made it into the honors classes and my sister didn't...
  • HA HA! Loser!
  • The honors program was called DOGS which stood for...
  • Daaaaaaaaaang! Original gangsta students!
  • Okay, that's not actually the name. I made that up.
  • If you got accepted into DOGS you stayed in the DOGS program for the rest of Elementary school!
  • So I basically had the same kids in my class for five school years
  • And our class became known as the Dogs Kids.
  • I think since I was in the dogs program, I wasn't bullied nearly as much as I should have been
  • Because everyone in my class was a huge nerd!
  • So I never really learned how to interact with people socially because I already knew everyone in my class
  • So all the DOGS were cool with each other,
  • But all the non-DOGS hated us.
  • They thought that us DOGS thought that we were SOOOO much better than them...
  • And we were.
  • Now call me old-fashioned,
  • but I think the third grade is a little too soon to tell if you're smart or not.
  • I would say that the DOGS program...
  • did NOT make me a smarter person.
  • I don't speak for everyone
  • This was just my experience
  • But in high school my twin sister was a WAY better student!
  • High school didn't have the DOGS program
  • So me and my sister were in the same classes again.
  • And she was a straight-A student while I was about a straight B and C student.
  • So all the math I've learned is telling me that something's not adding up.
  • It probably had nothing to do with being in the honors program in Elementary School
  • I probably just procrastinated a lot in high school
  • Okay now let's get back to the actual topic of the video.
  • Leading up to the event the teacher wanted us to stay after school to help make the boats.
  • And I being the loyal DOG that I was stayed after school exactly zero times
  • Sorry dudes, I take the bus home!
  • and last time I missed the bus my mom got mad at me and I cried
  • And she had to pick me up
  • So actually if I was deserted on an island I wouldn't be much help
  • I would have to get my mom to pick me up.
  • This event was at a medium-sized, man-made lake in Arizona because
  • We don't, have real lakes. They're all man-made.
  • And it was right next to a college and a lot of college kids like to get drunk there
  • We ended up making two boats:
  • One was white, and one was blue with a dragon head at the front and the tail in the back
  • They both could hold 10 people.
  • There wasn't enough room for everyone in the class to get a spot on the boat,
  • and the kids who actually helped build it got a reserved seat
  • But since I was a scrawny white boy that didn't take up much space,
  • I got to sit in the very front!!
  • Because they were the coolest and smallest seats
  • The person who I sat next to was this girl named Priscilla
  • I still keep in contact with her and I asked if I could say her name in this video and she said yes.
  • Later in life, she was the first girl to ever...
  • Later in life, she was the first girl to ever... slap me
  • I didn't ask permission to tell that story.
  • While we were waiting for our turn to race, my dad got me a snow cone,
  • and that snow cone was the very first time I remember getting a brain freeze.
  • "It hurts to eat this."
  • "Yeah, they do that."(james way of relating to people)
  • When it was our turn, we rode the boat out and we actually stayed afloat.
  • I mean it was only a couple inches away from sinking...
  • But it worked!! My mom told me beforehand that if the boat sunk,
  • I should kick off my shoes because that would weigh me down
  • And I would drown. Thanks for the vote of confidence Mom(!)
  • And I remember being so afraid of the boat sinking. Not because I could drown, but because I didn't want to lose my shoes! :(
  • So there were a bunch of eight-year-olds in a glorified
  • Cardboard box on a lake with three other boxes filled with drunk college students. The course we had to take was pretty simple it only
  • Had two left turns should have been a piece of cake and we were doing pretty good...
  • ... until we had to make the first left turn.
  • We messed up on that part... We practiced turning on land all the time!
  • But for SOME reason when we were in the water our turning maneuver wasn't working we kind of just...
  • drifted forward. We were pretty much all stranded we didn't know how to drive this thing and we were running out of time since the
  • Cardboard doesn't last that long when it's wet... But there were these
  • Lifeguards slash helper people going around in canoes and one person came up to our boat
  • And he just kind of pushed it with his paddle *pushy pushy*
  • and he turned the boat and we were back in the race!! Well actually by this point everyone else had already completed the course but
  • We're still floating. We were still going to finish this! When it came time for the second turn... The same thing happened.
  • We didn't learn anything; they never taught us this in honors classes.
  • By this point, the next four people racing just went, they got tired of waiting.
  • And while the canoe boat guy was trying to teach us how to turn, the other boats just passed us.
  • Eventually we did get the turning thing down and we made it back to shore!
  • The boat stayed up the entire time.
  • Out of the four people we raced against we came in eighth...
  • I kind of wish something bad did happen
  • Like the boat flipped over or a shark ate one of the kids! That would have been a better YouTube video...
  • But that also would have been LYING! And then afterwards the president came down and high-fived all of us.
  • And to prove I'm not lying
  • Here's some pictures of me in front of the boat...
  • ... we had to take the dragon head off because it didn't fit with all of us.
  • But we kept the tail and you'll also notice how cramped the seats are and the girl who later on slaps me?
  • Here's a boat with a roof!
  • Here's the picture of the snowcone that gave me my first brainfreeze.
  • Here's us in the water next to a pretty big boat and look our other white boat is getting blocked off by the bigger boat!
  • Notice how our boat is going in the wrong direction and how close we are to being submerged... And here's a picture of the grown-ups
  • Carrying the boat out of the water after a long day, and I'm not in this picture
  • I wanted to get to land as soon as possible! Here's a picture of me during Halloween
  • I dressed up as a ninja
  • I think it was the halloween after the bunny, and there's a plushie of an neopet in the background,
  • Do you guys remember neopets? All my neopets are probably dead now. Here's a picture of me with a giant pencil
  • It's actually a model rocket, but it looks like a pencil! Isn't that adorable? Remember my science fair video where I launched Rockets?
  • Yeah, this wasn't that time...
  • This is a completely different model rocket and here's me in a tub of animal plushies!
  • And this bird plushie right here was actually my favorite
  • I got them from someone else's birthday was in the goodie bag. It was a pirate themed birthday. It was like
  • You know a little tiny parrot
  • I really liked that bird his name was birdie, and now he's gone... and here's me dressed up as Galileo.
  • Yaaaaay a new video is done! Sorry. It's been like a month since my last video
  • I've been busy with three conventions all back-to-back
  • But it's good now those are all done! Videos should be coming back on a normal schedule and by normal schedule
  • I mean twice a month...
  • It's so weird seeing these old pictures because in my head I
  • Remember the exact moment when I sat down in the boat and being super
  • Cramped and having to row with my kneecaps pressed against my chest.
  • And I remember that snow cone too and just not knowing
  • Why it hurt to eat it.. And now I'm looking back at these old pictures and being like... *strange sound that I can't comprehend*
  • I was a different person back then! I can't end this video without mentioning the person who helped make this video come out on time.
  • And that person this week is GingerPale again. Thanks, man
  • He helped color and also FootofaFerret helps get some of the sound effects for the intro of the video
  • Thanks writer. So everyone give them a big old hug and wear your seatbelt!

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Hahaha! Boats?!? Neopets?!? My mom telling me to kick off my shoes so I don't drown as fast?!!?!?!? Boy do I have a video for you!
GingerPale ➤ https://www.youtube.com/user/TheGingerPale
FootofaFerret ➤ https://www.youtube.com/user/FootofaFerret


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