LOADING ...

MAKE IT STOP!! | UNO

3M+ views   |   71K+ likes   |   868 dislikes   |  
Dec 22, 2018

Thumbs

MAKE IT STOP!! | UNO
MAKE IT STOP!! | UNO thumb MAKE IT STOP!! | UNO thumb MAKE IT STOP!! | UNO thumb

Transcription

  • W:All right, JP if your gonna pop into the register you got to do it now times ticking
  • M: *weird yawning noises*
  • W: Campfire guitar guy?
  • W:Is that you, campfire guitar guy?
  • B:Yeah
  • M: Campfire guitar guy?
  • W: I missed you.
  • W: Yeah, the guy at the campfire with the guitar. He's everyone's favourite person.
  • M: Wow.
  • B: That's me.
  • M: Wow.
  • B: I was bored waiting for JP.
  • B: What do you want me to do?
  • W: For the love of God, whatever you do, if you get a card with a purple dragon on it, do not ever play it ever.
  • M: Why?
  • W: Just don't.
  • M: What if we have to?
  • W: It's like the red button, don't push it.
  • M: I push red buttons all the time.
  • B: Everyone always pushes the red button, like that's a guaranteed certainty.
  • W: Do not mess with the dragon.
  • B: Mark, if you have a dragon, I recommend you play it.
  • M: I don't have a dragon now, I want to have a dragon now.
  • W: JP, this isn't because I don't trust you, not because you're not my friend.
  • M: I don't think JP can hear you.
  • W: He knows. He hears.
  • M: I don't think he does.
  • W: Look how close he is to his picture there. He knows everything.
  • M: Right, right, really peering in on us.
  • B: Thanks, but what does a purple dragon look like? Is it a dragon that's purple on a card?
  • W: Yeah, whatever you do, avoid that, especially right now because I'm down to two cards.
  • B: Okay, cool. Cool. Yeah. Yeah
  • M: PURPLE DRAGOOOOOOON.
  • B: I definitely will NOT play the purple dragon
  • M: (unintelligible yelling about purple dragons)
  • W: Good, I'm glad that we're on the same page there.
  • M: PLAY IT.
  • B: Nooooo.
  • B: That's not- I don't actually have one.
  • W: Yellow's good, stick with yellow.
  • B: Mmm, no, all right. That was a bluff. I wanted blue.
  • B: I mean, it doesn't really matter.
  • W: That's okay.
  • B: Because you're not gonna survive the dragon.
  • W: You don't have it.
  • B: Right, I don't have it. Right right, right
  • M: No dragon, no dragon. Maybe I'm trying to help Bob get a dragon.
  • M: Get a dragon! Get a dragon!
  • B: Now he's gonna win!
  • M: You don't know that.
  • M: You don't know that.
  • W: Thanks for the- I can't play it!?
  • B: Well, okay.
  • W: It's alright. It's alright. Heart of the cards.
  • W: Says (unintelligible)
  • M: Heart of the cards says not!
  • W: No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
  • M: NOT. NOT.
  • W: Alright. That sucks.
  • B: I know you don't have blue so draw some cards or whatever.
  • M: You don't KNOW I don't have blue...
  • M: Or do I?
  • M: I do.
  • B: Hey, JP. If you can do something to Mark right now,
  • M: Why?
  • B: It would be a good- Oh, boy.
  • W: Alright, I feel like that really stopped Mark.
  • B: Good job everybody, good job everybody.
  • M: Watch this, bitch.
  • B: I'm just going to go ahead and play that.
  • M: Okay, well you guys are just being a big old sack o' poopy.
  • M: Feel like you guys need to get all of the poopy out of your sacks.
  • M: Maybe you should stop being so full of poop.
  • B: Uh, I'm gonna play this, just because I'm curious.
  • W: Alright.
  • B: Alright, he has yellow and green.
  • M: You don't know that...
  • W: And how many cards does Bob have?
  • W: We don't know...
  • M: You don't know what I have.
  • M: See, now it's all up in the air.
  • M: You have no idea what I have now!
  • M: Ooh, it's just a mystery, my hand!
  • *bob giggles*
  • W: Bob has 3 cards.
  • B: No one knows that.
  • M: No one knows that.
  • W: Oh good, green, that's a good colour.
  • W: Except for... It fucking isn't.
  • W: Everyone hates green! It's the least respected of the colours.
  • B: That seems a little harsh.
  • M: Why?
  • W: Everyone loves blue, #1.
  • W: Red's pretty popular.
  • B: Green's a good colour, most of the Earth is covered in-
  • W: More people like green than yellow, probably.
  • B: Actually, most of the Earth's covered in blue I guess, but whatever.
  • B: Green is pretty good, green is the 2nd best colour after blue.
  • W: I don't think that's true.
  • M: I don't think that's true either.
  • B: I'm fairly certain that's true.
  • M: I don't-
  • W: Everyone hates green, everyone hates yellow and everyone hates shit-brown colours.
  • W: Like the poopy brown.
  • B: I don't think you could possibly claim that.
  • W: Listen, EVERYONE-
  • B: Wade are you saying that, in the same way that the commentator said that...
  • B: Oh thanks bro.
  • M: You're welcome.
  • B: That 82% of people believed what he wanted them to believe.
  • B: Because he felt like that was true?
  • B: But he didn't check or check any numbers or anything.
  • M: Who are we talking about here?
  • *talking over eachother*
  • W: I'm just speaking for the sake of speaking.
  • B: Ooh, look at that, fancy!
  • W: What a SsWwAaAAA
  • B: Fancy, fancy, fancy!
  • W: Right, you need to not fuck Mark, so that Mark can fuck Bob.
  • M: I will fuck whoever I want to.
  • W: Good fucking, good fucking.
  • B: I will fuck whoever I myself.
  • M: We're being too crass here!
  • W: Alright, I'll get fucked.
  • M: We're all demonestised, we gotta rally together and not- BuHdUhhhH
  • M: Why'd I do that?
  • M: WHY DID I DO THAT?
  • M: Why did I do that?
  • *bob laughs*
  • M: Why did I do that?
  • M: OH FUCK OH GOD WHY DID I- I'M MAKING IT WORSE!
  • M: I'm making it worse!
  • W: Bob, remember the time when you challenged?
  • M: It's- It's fine.
  • B: Why did you do any of that?
  • M: I DON'T KNOW! I was just like- it was there!
  • M: It was there, and I pressed it!
  • M: I don't know!
  • B: Why don't you play some of those sweet cards you got there, bud?
  • M: Alright, I will!
  • B: OH, NO YOU CAN'T!
  • *mark is annoyed*
  • (jingly sound effect)
  • B: That's right.
  • M: See, what I actually realized; the first one I jumped in on, I would have been fine.
  • M: It was when I jumped in on the second one, I was-
  • B: Once you made it your own colour!
  • M: Yes. I was fine on the first- and then I made it worse.
  • M: I'm just the biggest idiot in the world.
  • M: I have no idea what I'm doing, at all, at any point.
  • W: I can't believe I jumped in! I can't believe I jumped in again!
  • B: My turn, I guess.
  • M: MY TURN NOW.
  • (talking over eachother)
  • M: No one's jumping, no one's going high.
  • B&W: Everyone's high!
  • W: Everyone's just jumping.
  • B: Oh, buddy, that's just unnecessary.
  • W: I'm sorry, my hand is very evil.
  • M: Who's turn is it? Mine? I'm not looking at the screen.
  • W: What are ya fucking doin'?
  • M: YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT I'M DOING.
  • W: Get your hand out of your pants, and your other hand out of your ass!
  • M: Uh uh.
  • W: Your ass is not in your pants.
  • M: I am the funniest man on the face on the Earth.
  • B: Hahahaha that's fucked up.
  • W: Mark, punish JP for not knowing how to play the game.
  • M: I don't wanna.
  • M: Hang on.
  • M: Who's turn is it?
  • B: You don't have to play Mark, don't worry about it.
  • W: Aw, fuck you! Now I have to draw again.
  • M: Have I not played this entire time because you assholes won't let me play?
  • M: You SUCK. You SUCC. All of you S U C C.
  • W: It's your turn! Play already!
  • M: *mocking Wade* It's your turn! Play already!
  • M: Whatever *mumbling*
  • W: Why you punishing JP?
  • M: Whatever.
  • M: Because we were yelling at the bot now and now we have to yell at JP!
  • M: Because JP might as well be a bot!
  • W: He IS a bot!
  • M: He IS a bot!
  • B: Wow. Wow.
  • W: Hey I'll jump in! Sorry JP.
  • B: Hey I'll jump in!
  • M: Hey I'll jump in!
  • W: Shit.
  • M: Uh oh.
  • W: GOD DAMMIT JP. WE HAD ONE RULE!
  • M: Was that the dragon?
  • B: That was the dragon, yeah.
  • M: Ooohhhhhh.
  • M: What's wrong with that dragon? That dragon's nice.
  • B: Yeah that seemed fine.
  • W: The way this works; one person gets added 2 cards,
  • W: Everyone else has 30.
  • W: And then it fuckin' reshuffles all the cards.
  • M: What's so wrong about thaaat?
  • W: EVERYONE'S got 30.
  • W: Another one's got 40, another one's got 50!
  • M: Nooooo!
  • W: Everyone's fucking dead inside.
  • M: No one has 30 or 50!
  • W: Yeah!
  • M: No one does!
  • B: Ooooh, thanks bud!
  • B: You can do that again if you want.
  • M: Don't Y E E T !
  • B: Y E E T
  • M: STOP!
  • W: Y E E T
  • B: I don't think y e e t ing is the thing you should be doing, Wade.
  • *bob sighs*
  • M: HI-YA!
  • M: I really did it there, guys, I did it there.
  • W: Nice job.
  • M: Thank you.
  • B: Okay...
  • M: Thank you, thank you.
  • W: I got a 5 for ya but I'm gonna play 4 bitch.
  • M: Oh, thank you.
  • W: Because I wanna stick with the colour scheme.
  • M: Alright, I'm gonna do this. Hehe.
  • W: I got a 2 for ya.
  • B: GOTEEEM.
  • M: GOTEEM.
  • M: Take that, BOT!
  • M: Take that, you ROBOT!
  • W: Don't let the bot win, whatever we do guys, don't let the bot win.
  • B: I don't even know what colour he has.
  • B: Yes, JP, you know what to do.
  • M: That's the thing to do.
  • B: Get him, daddy.
  • M: Alright, cool, watcha got, watcha got, watcha got?
  • B: Alright, Wade, what colour do you want?
  • W: Greeeen?
  • B: Alright.
  • W: Fuck, I should have told the truth!
  • M: I don't want green!
  • M: That's not what I want!
  • M: WHAT HAPPENED TO US?
  • M: BOB. WHAT HAPPENED TO US?
  • B: You don't want me to be happy, that's what happened to us!
  • M: For that one moment, now I want you nothing but happiness!
  • B: I DON'T BELIEVE YOU!
  • W: I lied about green because I didn't think you were going to listen, so...
  • W: Fuck me I guess.
  • B: Well, that doesn't seem fair.
  • *mark mumbling*
  • B: I gave you exactly what you wanted.
  • W: Fine. Fine. Fuck. Jesus, Merry Christmas.
  • W: God, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to upset you.
  • B: Ooh, cool hand, yeah, yeah,
  • B: Oh, good one, yeah, yeah, yeah.
  • B: Alright, I've got all the good stuff.
  • M: Well, alright, Bob, this is my only of this colour.
  • B: Alright, well.
  • M: It's all I can do.
  • B: You'll understand why I did that in a minute.
  • B: Ohhh. W: Me me me me me! B: Oh boy.
  • *talking over eachother*
  • W: Help me, your friend waiting for you!
  • B: Sweet boy... You sweet boy.
  • W: Oh fuck.
  • B: Mark has 2 yellows by the way.
  • M: Hey whoa, what the the heck? Whoa what what?
  • M: You...
  • B: So, we might need to change that colour real quick.
  • M: You're gonna, you're gonna do me like that? You're gonna do me like that?
  • B: I can't do anything about it, but if anyone has a wild...
  • W: *various sounds of disappointment*
  • M: Pave the way for me to just win
  • M: In the most anti-climactic way.
  • M: Just pave the way, let me win.
  • M: GOD. DAMMIT.
  • M: OF COURSE!
  • B: Anything but yellow, JP!
  • M: I'm gonna fucking get fucked, and fuck you!
  • M: HAAAAAAAAAAAA
  • W: It's green, it's still green!
  • M: Well FUCK YOU, robot!
  • M: FUCK YOU, ROBOT.
  • M: That's what YOU get. That's what YOUUU get. That's what YOUUU get.
  • W: I deserve better than this.
  • B: I hope you guys have some attacking red cards you can shove onto Mark.
  • B: That's what I'm gambling on.
  • M: Why me? Why do you have two?
  • M: What are you saying to me?
  • M: No, you're trying to rally the troops against me!
  • B: I'm the nice guy here!
  • M: I NEVER want you to have happiness!
  • M: NEVER!
  • B: Aw, well. Now no one's happy.
  • M: I'm not happy!
  • M: Wade's not happy.
  • M: Robots can't be happy!
  • W: I'm very upset.
  • B: Wade has only reds left, by the way.
  • M: Mr. Tattletail here, coming in with the-
  • W: Yeah, don't tell anyone, it's secret.
  • W: Nice work, JP, good play.
  • M: Listen, listen. I have no choice here, Bob, if this comes and Wade wins, I'll be happy.
  • M: I'm gonna be happy.
  • B: Well, that kinda worked out.
  • W: (song-like) I've got a thorny dildo in my ass!
  • W: Dildo in my ass...
  • *mark laughs* W: Fucking shit, fuck, fuck, fuck!
  • W: Oh, god, there we go again.
  • W: I feel like one of these hands is not like the other.
  • B: Oh, that's not what you wanna see.
  • *mark laughs* M: You're like a commentator now?
  • M: Aw, we hate to see that.
  • B: I'm sad for you, Mark.
  • B: Wow. *mark laughs*
  • B: That's really not what you want to see if you're Wade.
  • *mark laughs* B: That's not the stuff.
  • W: Oh, god. Thorny dildo in my ass...
  • B: O-kay.
  • W: I got saved by the dildo- (gibberish).
  • W: No, JP's a nice guy, don't do that!
  • M: No way in hell!
  • M: No way in fresh hell.
  • M: There's no way.
  • M: There's no way in 2 tits of a rat's ass, I'm taking what's mine.
  • M: I'm taking what's mine!
  • M: What do I have Bob? WHAT DO I HAVE?
  • B: He has 2 yellows, Wade.
  • W: Alright, well I got... Not jumped over by someone, so there's two.
  • W: Who said two tits of a rats ass? Did I say that?
  • B: You said that, you fuckin' psychopath!
  • W: I did?
  • *evil mark laugh*
  • B: You JUST said that!
  • B: It literally just came out of your mouth!
  • W: Did I say that?
  • B: It vibrated out of your vocal chords.
  • B: That smells like chicken sandwiches and is still floating out of your face.
  • *deeper voice* M: There's no way in two tits of a rat's ass.
  • W: Mark did! (unintelligible) said Mark said it!
  • M: I did it?
  • M: No, I didn't that was all you, Wade.
  • W: My whole chat's like "Mark said that!".
  • M: 100%, don't try to put the blame on me.
  • *slowed down* RAT'S ASS.
  • B: JP's really trying to let Wade win.
  • W: He owes me one... For um... Stuff.
  • M: I wanna see ALL your amazing cards!
  • M: Wow!
  • B: He's got all of them in there!
  • B: Why are they out of order? How did he even do that?
  • W: I don't know why it showed them out of order.
  • B: Mark, you do 'em.
  • W: Well, c'mon man, why can't I play?
  • M: I'm gonna pass it to you, Bob!
  • M: I'm gonna do youuuu.
  • M: I'M DOING YOUUU.
  • B: I appreciate that you... Wasted a card I guess.
  • M: No, no. I was spending currency.
  • B: You definitely want my hand, Wade. It's so good.
  • W: I think I want JP's hand.
  • M: That's what I was thinking.
  • (talking over each other)
  • B: Okay, cool. JP, this is a real stinker, huh?
  • *mark laughs*
  • B: You really got nothing going on over here.
  • M: Shit. Alright, here we go.
  • *bob* laughs* B: Cards appearing in the fart cloud that is Mark.
  • *mark and wade laugh*
  • B: Uh, well, I got that one I guess.
  • W: Oh shit. B: Eat that thorny dildo.
  • W: Oh, I'm eating it. (gag noises) ((captioner's note: ew))
  • B: Oh Wade! You have some yellow stuff to play.
  • W: Lemme show you what I got. Peace!
  • B: Neaterino.
  • M: How about some of this?
  • B: Aw bro.
  • M: Bro.
  • M: Awww, brah!
  • (various bros)
  • (gibberish and laughing)
  • (talking over each other)
  • W: You jumping in stopped us from being able to hit JP with that sweet lose.
  • M: Why is that- That's not fair.
  • B: Thanks bro. Thanks bro.
  • Wade: JP's a green, I don't know what colour you- fuck.
  • W: It was a 5?
  • B: A 5?
  • B: Shit.
  • M: Bob, you did that!
  • M: Because Wade and I were trying to hit him with the dab!
  • M: And YOU stopped us!
  • B: I'm not here for anyone else but myself. That's the mentality I was told to have.
  • M: And you still lost.
  • M: We're gonna let bygones be bygones, Bob.
  • M: Bob, we're gonna be bygones. Bygones!
  • M: Bygones!
  • B: I don't want a bygone.
  • W: Not, me, not me, not me!
  • M: Peace offering, peace offering, peace offering, peace offering.
  • W: What a hand you have!
  • B: This is a terrible hand.
  • M: It's a peace offering Bob, you can't reject it.
  • (talking over each other) B: I definitely can!
  • M: NO!
  • M: I gave you a peace offering.
  • B: And I am confused because it's not a good offering.
  • M: It was one less card than what I had.
  • W: Oh my god, this is a hand. Here, boom!
  • B: Gottem.
  • B: Oh, sick play!
  • W: Oh, dude you should see what I can do with this...
  • B: Oh, god dammit, yes!
  • W: Ready for this? Boom. I'm gonna change the colour now.
  • M: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, ooh!
  • W: What a sweet- Alright, that's all I got for ya.
  • W: Someone could've done something there.
  • M: Wow.
  • B: Two could've done something there.
  • W: Yeah, there was like a jump-in.
  • B: Not me!
  • W: No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob.
  • W: Jp! My man!
  • B: I feel like there's some collusion going on somewhere.
  • W: Now my secret has to come out! Okay, bLUuuUEeeRGh
  • M: What the fuck?
  • W: That was my secret I had another one.
  • B: Cool.
  • W: Alright, can we just leave the colour alone for a fucking minute? JP. JP. JP.
  • M: I like you JP, I like you! Wait, no, I don't like you.
  • M: Wait, I thought that was just a normal wild.
  • W: He said he can't pick the colour!
  • *wade laughing* W: He tried to change the colour and he can't!
  • B: Why is he playing with a controller?
  • W: He said his keyboard, like, defaulted to it.
  • B: Oh, yeah!
  • W: NOOO!
  • W: *demon like yelling*
  • M: That's a good one, that's a good one.
  • B: That's a nice one, yeah, alright.
  • W: Oh, fuckity, fuck.
  • B: I'm glad I had all of those cards for that so everyone could get some good stuff.
  • M: Yeah, okay.
  • (talking over each other)
  • M: I- I- You should see my hand!
  • B: I could see your hand if I chose to.
  • M: Go for it if you want to, I guess.
  • M: If it's really what you desire.
  • B: I don't think you have as much cause to be as upset as JP.
  • M: HEART OF MY CAAAARDS!
  • B: HEART OF THE CAAAARDS!
  • W: Heart of the-
  • *mark laughing*
  • B: Alright, so now Wade can be upset.
  • W: I'm fine...
  • M: Yeah Wade, be mad. Be mad. Be mad.
  • W: No...
  • M: Be mad!
  • B: Yeah, don't calm down, Wade. Rile up, rile up, Wade.
  • M: Rile up, rile up, Wade.
  • M: Rile up, Wade.
  • W: My feathers are so fucking riled they're up my ears and in my nose.
  • W: I'm just fuckin' 'em right now with my teeth!
  • M: What?
  • B: Good, good buddy. That's good.
  • M: True, that's what we wanted, you're right.
  • B: Please continue fucking more things with your teeth.
  • M: Yeah.
  • M: There's a dizzying action going on in this game.
  • M: Alright.
  • B: Gooooteeeeem.
  • W: The sweet aroma of a nice blue five.
  • W: Which fucked me royally, so now I'll draw.
  • M: Wade, I'm gonna challenge you to not curse.
  • W: Okay.
  • M: For at least...
  • M: One round.
  • W: Okay, done. Listen, 2012 and 2015 Wade didn't curse. I can do it.
  • M: Yeah, what happened to you, Wade?
  • W: Life.
  • W: Life found a way.
  • W: Jeff Goldblum was correct. Life finds a way.
  • M: Well, see, that's the thing I DON'T like!
  • W: Oh that's some poopy diapers right there!
  • B: That's a not fun time, I tell you what.
  • M: Ugh...
  • W: Oh sweet Miss America! I can't believe you skipped my turn.
  • B: Well... Well I just- Sometimes just you gotta do what you gotta do.
  • W: That's good, I just wanted to play this lovely 8. Here you go, have a frog.
  • W: Hey, JP. It's all I wanted to do was to give you a nice little 8, but you had to jump me.
  • W: Well, here you go, I jumped Bob because I'm also a massive jerkface.
  • M: Okay, alright.
  • M: Okay, alright, okay.
  • M: Alright.
  • W: I'm trying, I'm trying here. I'm trying here, guys.
  • M: Okay.
  • W: Uhhh, I like this one better.
  • W: Nice!
  • W: Nice, sweet, sexy six.
  • M: Okay.
  • M: I love this, I love this, this is awesome.
  • W: A nice colour change! M: It's nice.
  • B: Lets just take a look, I guess, and see what's going on here.
  • W: No, no, no, no, no, listen, listen!
  • W: Friendly... foes of mine in this particular game...
  • M: You were holdin' back on us this WHOLE time!
  • B: Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
  • W: He sure was, and it's okay!
  • M: Wadey baby, I don't wanna do that.
  • M: I resisted the urge to jump in, because it would have made Wade win.
  • M: I wanted everyone to know I am a fucking hero.
  • M: I am a king hero.
  • W: No, no, no, no, you!
  • *arguing and talking over each other* M: I'm a hero. I'm a hero.
  • B: Wade can't fix this!
  • M: I am a hero.
  • B: And all I have is reds, this is not so good.
  • M: I'm a hero, I'm a hero.
  • W: Draw! We can all draw!
  • W: I'll just draw. Okay, or we could all not draw.
  • M: I'm a hero.
  • W: Heart of the cards.
  • M: I'm a hero.
  • W: I had a colour change, I could have changed it!
  • M: Oh, what the hell Wade?
  • W: Uh, JP, we all know you had...
  • *mark laughs*
  • M: Oh, it still gave me the cards!
  • W: Well, nice plays there, you not good people!
  • B: That seemed like it was entirely your fault, Wade.
  • M: That was all you, Wade.
  • W: That could have possibly been my entire fault.
  • W: But before that, I should have won, but Mark stole it from ME!
  • M: WHAT DID I DO?
  • W: He wasn't my bestest buddy like I thought he was!
  • M: I DID NOTHING TO YOUUU!
  • W: You played the 0, which took away my happiness!
  • M: I don't want you to be happy!
  • M: I don't WANT you!
  • B: Yeah, he has made that pretty clear.
  • W: Well, you succeeded in what you wanted!
  • M: I did.
  • W: Are you happy now?
  • M: NO!
  • W: You're dead inside like my first hamster which I dropped a shoebox on the day I brought it home.
  • M: Just inside?
  • W: All over.
  • *laughing*
  • W: Do you guys not know that story?
  • M: No!
  • M: I don't know that story.
  • W: My uncle bought me a hamster and it came in this little glass jar.
  • W: From a weird, creepy store on the way back from a trip to West Virginia.
  • B: Wowww.
  • W: The day I brought it home, I went to pick it up to pet it,
  • W: And it bit my finger, so I flung it and it hit a shoebox.
  • W: That had my shoes in it.
  • W: And then it hit the shoebox, fell on the ground and then the shoebox fell on it and smashed it and killed it..
  • B: Yikes. W: And then I buried it in that shoebox.
  • B: Well. What have you got there, Mark?
  • M: Take a look, take a look!
  • B: That's pretty messed up, Wade.
  • M: Yeah, that's pretty messed up.
  • W: I was like, 6 years old or something. I was pretty young- Nahhh,
  • W: Yeaaah, I was probably 5.
  • W: Or 5 actually.
  • M: All of those numbers are still very young, Wade, you could say any of those.
  • M: It's still very young.
  • W: 6 is old enough to like, buy cigarettes and stuff.
  • W: Or you're still, like, in the womb.
  • W: 5, you're a kid, 4, you're in the womb, 6, you're an adult.
  • M: Sure, okay.
  • W: It's a harsh world we live in.
  • B: I feel that, yeah.
  • M: Alright guys, now everyone be intelligent here.
  • B: He has... A yellow. Alright?
  • M: See... Now... B: He has a yellow.
  • M: Understand here- okay, whatever.
  • W: Yes, poor hamster, but it wasn't my fault, I was a baby!
  • W: That responsibility should have never been put on me.
  • B: Well... I mean... M: You were not a baby!
  • M: You said you were 5 or 6!
  • W: No, I was 4, 5, or 6, I could have been in the womb!
  • M: 4 is not a baby!
  • M: How long were you in that womb?
  • W: Are you kidding me? 4, you might as well still be in the womb.
  • M: NO!
  • W: 4, you're drinking milk from a tit and sleeping in a crib!
  • M: WHAT?
  • B: Noooooo.
  • W: 5, you're drinking soda pop and 6, you're drinking beer..
  • W: That's the way life works.
  • M: Your childhood, man.
  • B: Hey, Mark do you wanna have some fun?
  • M: Yeah, man, yeah!
  • B: Let's party it up, my man.
  • M: Oh, this isn't the fun I ordered!
  • B: Uh oh, this is the wrong kind of fun.
  • B: This is too fun.
  • B: This is too much fun!
  • W: Fuck!
  • (various oh no's)
  • B: Everyone's having fun, no, it's too much!
  • M: Not my fun!
  • W: Everyone's having fun!
  • M: I- Uh.... FUN!
  • M: There's my hand back!
  • (all laughing) B: Nailed it!
  • B: I told you it would be fun, Mark!
  • M: That was fun. (wade being drowned out by bob and mark)
  • M: That was fun, guys.
  • B: I had your best interest in mine.
  • M: Yeah, it was real fun.
  • M: You having fun in that cloud? You having fun in that fart cloud?
  • B: THAT'S fun.
  • B: Oooh, that's the wrong way for me!
  • W: At 4 years old, you're practically still a sperm and an egg.
  • W: At 4 years old, you're not even alive.
  • W: Lemme say, it's controver-
  • M: A-haaaaaaa!
  • B: Gotem.
  • M: Gotem.
  • B: Wade, we're playing a serious game here.
  • W: I'm seriously serious about it!
  • B: I don't have time for your bullshit about sperms and stuff.
  • W: Anyone under the age of 40 is still a toddler.
  • M: 40?
  • W: Yes.
  • W: 6, you're an adult.
  • W: 29, you're a toddler.
  • M: 29?
  • B: Ha. Keep going, Mark, keep going.
  • B: Ah, I don't have one of those.
  • B: I wonder which one he's going to pick.
  • W: I don't know how many cards Bob has. Mystery's killing me.
  • M: It's probably not what you think it is.
  • B: It was the same number you had.
  • B: You didn't have any fuckin' yellows though, you suck.
  • W: I got it put in me bum bum.
  • M: What? What's put in your bum bum?
  • W: It!
  • M: What are you...
  • M: Wade, you can curse again, because you not cursing makes less sense than you cursing.
  • B: Alrighty- doo.
  • W: No, Mark, I made you a promise and I'm gonna honour it.
  • M: Okay.
  • W: You're gonna regret it the rest of your days!
  • M: *laughing* Apparently I am!
  • M: I want the old Wade back! That's what I miss!
  • W: Old, old... Oh, because I'm young now, I get it.
  • B: Uhhhh, I'm gonna do that.
  • M: How'd you do... What the fuck?
  • (unintelligible)
  • B: Enjoy that, Mark! That's really gonna work out for ya!
  • M: Listen, listen, listen, take some of THIS, Bob!
  • M: Payback's a bitch!
  • W: Oh, yeah, well take it again Bob!
  • M: Ooooh, Bob, you're really sandwiched in there!
  • B Well, I have one of those, so I'm good.
  • M: Oh, well, come ooon!
  • W: Mark, I trusted you when I wasted my sweet reversal!
  • M: Heart of my cards...
  • W: Yeah that's right.
  • M: HEART OF MY CARD...
  • B: No, wait a minute, wait a minute. Let's talk about this- ohhhhh...
  • *mark laughs* B: Aw, balls.
  • *wade laughs*
  • M: Alright, UH OH! *laughing*
  • W: It only gets better!
  • M: It's fine. W: I told you, we had a game that lasted an hour and a half the other day!
  • M: That's impossible, Wade.
  • W: (gibberish) JP's here! JP, tell 'em.
  • M: No, it's impossible, Wade.
  • W: If JP was talking, you would listen to him.
  • M: It's impossible, Wade.
  • W: Oh, sweet 1's everybody!
  • M: Thanks, man.
  • B: It's a one party, motherfuckers!
  • M: We live and die... (u n i n t e l l i g i b l e)
  • W: Dog tits, I don't have a green.
  • B: Dog tits?
  • W: Dog tits, I don't have a green.
  • B: Oh, dear me.
  • B: Well, I could play that.
  • M: Alright, listen, man. I feel like there's some hostility here.
  • B: I had no choice. Also, you made me draw 6 cards like, 2 hands ago.
  • M: No, I didn't make you. Everyone was apart of that.
  • M: Why do you think it was me?
  • B: It was the heart of the cards, and you initiated it.
  • (talking over each other)
  • W: -Everything you just did to me. So, I'm going to challenge you and I'm gonna wi-
  • B: Ohhh, that's not so good.
  • M: See, Wade, are you gonna blame you getting 6 cards on me as well?
  • W: No, no, no. If anything, it was Bob's fault I drew that.
  • M: EXACTLY!
  • M: That's what I was saying!
  • B: YOU did this to me, Mark.
  • W: Here, Mark. You deserve it. M: Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
  • B: You know what you did to me.
  • M: I know-
  • B: And you did it to me!
  • M: You're wrong right there from the start.
  • B: In the past tense, you have done it!
  • M: Everyone knows I don't know what I'm doing!
  • M: So there you go!
  • W: Oh why reveal me?
  • B: Just because you don't know what you did doesn't mean you didn't do it.
  • B: You did it out loud.
  • M: I was intending- (B: Bigly) I was intending to do it to JP. I didn't think JP had hard cards.
  • B: Oh, yeah, right, uh huh.
  • B: You know what?
  • M: what?
  • W: (unintelligible)
  • M: (Softly) Alright blue, that works. (wade still saying something in background)
  • M: Oh let's do...this.
  • B: Got em.
  • B: Wait, Wade if you have any dangerous cards I can help you direct em at J- nevermind.
  • M: Alright.
  • B: Oh, I can still help you direct them at JP, apparently.
  • M: Jump in on yourself, JP!
  • W: I could do this.
  • B: Uhhh, well I don't wanna hurt Mark, I wanna hurt JP.
  • M: Oh, you don't wanna hurt me?
  • W: I thought you wanted to hurt both.
  • B: Oh, ok, I wanna hurt Mark.
  • M: Oh no you don't! Watch THIS!
  • B: Oh, shit. M: Heart of my cards...
  • B: It's almost like I knew that was in there!
  • M: Oh, wow. (wade sobbing in the background) M: Teamwork.
  • B: Ohhh.
  • W: Sorry!
  • M: I don't think you are sorry, I don't think you are.
  • W: Sorry...
  • B: He's got 2 blues, boys.
  • W: Ya know, you don't have to talk.
  • B: He's got 2 blues, boys.
  • W: Sometimes the silent treatment is the best treatment.
  • (talking over each other) M: I'm giving you an opportunity to fuck up.
  • B: I don't have anything to really hurt him, but I can let him just sit there for a minute.
  • M: That works, that works, that works.
  • M: Okay, well that doesn't help anybody.
  • B: Well, that helps, actually. That helps.
  • W: Back to blue! Back to blue! Back to blue!
  • B: No, no, that does help. That makes it real easy.
  • W: *gagging noises* Oh god, there's (unintelligible)!
  • B: That really panned out. Woah, hey, do you have any more greens?
  • W: (quietly) I got this one...
  • B: Oh, you DO have some more greens, look at that!
  • M: Okay, listen, listen, what good is that?
  • M: What good is that, ROBO?
  • B: Alright, Wade, since you don't like that hand very much, I'll take it off your hands.
  • W: You should have taken Mark's.
  • B: Oh, look at that.
  • W: I'll take it back.
  • B: No, that's fine. I'll take Mark's and you can have that.
  • B: That was a weird one.
  • B: Here, Wade, I'll help you. More cards = Good, right?
  • M: That was good, that was good.
  • M: See, I held off on using that on you, Bob, because we're a team now.
  • (wade yelling)
  • B: I do appreciate that. Well, red's not a good one.
  • M: Listen, well, I can only do so much, Bob.
  • W: How can Bob possibly screw me this time? Let's find out!
  • B: I feel targeted.
  • M: Bob, I'm literally trying- We had a peace offering at the beginning of this!
  • M: You remember 2 years ago when we started this game?
  • M: We had a peace offering!
  • (laughing)
  • B: It's only been on for a little while!
  • W: I told you, Rayman deck never ends!
  • *bob laughing* W: That was a good play, you should go again.
  • B: I don't want to, and stop it.
  • W: I said go again!
  • B: You know what? You lose your hand.
  • (unintelligble)
  • B: I do want your hand!
  • W: Yeah, you do!
  • W: Good luck.
  • M: I feel like Mr. Hand in the shadows is the one you don't want.
  • B: That's a good hand! Look how good this hand is, chat!
  • M: Let me see! I want a good look at that!
  • B: It's a good hand, Mark. M: It's a GOOD hand.
  • M: Oooh. Mmm. It's good, take it, JP.
  • B: JP, it's a bad hand!
  • B: Oooooh, boy. (laughing)
  • W: Oh, yeah? Well...
  • B: Okay.
  • W: 5 get about it!
  • B: 9 I won't!
  • (mark laughs)
  • M: Oh, no!
  • (bob laughs)
  • W: Oh, GOD, WHAT IS THIS?
  • B: JESUS CHRIST.
  • W: (quietly) JP, change the colour please.
  • B: No, don't change the colour, JP. It's a good colour.
  • W: Change the colour.
  • B: Keep the colour. You keep that goddamn colour in there.
  • M: It's a good colour.
  • (various "change the colour" and "don't change the colour"'s)
  • M: Don't change that colour!
  • W: Shiiiiooooowt!
  • B: Shiooowt?
  • (various shiiioowt's)
  • W: I said what I said, I meant what I meant.
  • W: An elephant's memory...
  • M: Ohhh, I don't want this.
  • B: My hand's actually not bad there, bud.
  • M: That's not bad, that's not bad, that's not bad.
  • B: That's a legit little hand you got there.
  • M: That's a tight hand.
  • W: Alright, I'll find out about that.
  • (talking over each other)
  • M: Tight.
  • B: That's not good.
  • M: Well, this tight hand is not gonna do me any good. This hand is loose.
  • M: This hand's getting flappy.
  • W: The hand's getting a lot of experience.
  • B: It's sort of a situationally tight hand.
  • M: Alright, it's okay.
  • B: *breath in* I CLICKED YOU!
  • W: Y'know, you can go to hell, Bob. It's fine.
  • *mark laughs* W: I'll just take my turn real quick.
  • B: I'll play the 8, it's fine.
  • W: You should have played the 4, whatever the shit it was.
  • W: Oops, I cursed again. Sorry, Mark.
  • M: Oooooh, well. You gotta get the punishment.
  • W: Oh, I'm ready.
  • M: -That we both agreed on.
  • M: And lined up. You know what it is.
  • M: We all know what it is. I know what it is. They know what it is. He, she, me, we all know what it is.
  • W: Yeeeeah? M: Yeah.
  • M: That's not what it s.
  • B: That was a pretty uncool thing, Wade.
  • M: Wade, that was really uncool
  • B: I think you know that. I'm not judging you.
  • W: My punishment was that I had to punish everyone else.
  • M: I WANT my hand.
  • W: No, no, no, no, JP has it!
  • M: I don't know. Wade.
  • B: Wade's is probably good.
  • M: This is like... B: He was making sex sounds so...
  • W: Yeeeah. That's how I sound in bed.
  • B: Oh, good. W: YeEEaAaAAahHh.
  • *mark laughs*
  • B: That's the stuff!
  • M: (mocking wade) yEeAAHh
  • M: Do you like that?
  • (both mocking wade)
  • W: Is it good for youuuu?
  • *mark laughs*
  • B: Boy, oh, boy, is it-
  • W: (interrupting) Sorry if I cry during.
  • *mark laughs* B: Uh oh, now it's getting real.
  • B: Don't talk about that, Wade.
  • B:Hey, go again!
  • W: Nooo.
  • B: Mark, I want you to be happy, okay?
  • M: Wade, don't do it. Wade, don't. Wade, don't.
  • M: Okay, you didn't. That's good.
  • B: Okay, well.
  • W: Green? That's not what I want.
  • M: Green's okay.
  • W: No.
  • B: Green's fine.
  • B: I dislike you immensely.
  • B: Alright, I have literally no choice.
  • M: Alright. It's fair, that's fair.
  • W: You want Mark to win?
  • M: Fair play.
  • *mark laughs* B: Yeah, I wanted Mark to win!
  • W: You're sick!
  • M: Wait what the- Fuck you Wade!
  • M: I have been on your side this whole time!
  • W: I'm on your side, but if you win, you have to go bye-bye!
  • B: Mark, I'm sorry. I was on your side, buddy.
  • M: I- *sigh of dissaproval*
  • B: I was on your side, man. I really tried, I really did.
  • *jazzy game music and sfx*
  • M: I hate life.
  • *bob laughs* M: I'm done. I'm leaving.
  • (jazzy outro music builds up)
  • M: I'm outta here.
  • *jazzy outro music plays*
  • Hiya! I'm the main captioner for this video. I really hope you enjoyed my stupid subtitles. Thanks for being patient with me doing these over the past couple days. These fuckin' captions take forever. Have a great day, stay strong and always remember, Lele Pons isn't funny.
  • subscribe to pewdiepie

Download subtitle

Description

JUST MAKE IT STOP!! I GIVE UP!! UNCLE!! I'M BEGGING YOU!! LET THIS UNO MATCH END!!!
MY CLOTHING BRAND ► https://cloakbrand.com/
SUPPORT THE CHANNEL ► https://www.youtube.com/markiplier/join

Wade ► https://www.youtube.com/user/LordMinion777
Bob ► https://www.youtube.com/user/muyskerm

Check Out My WEBSITE!! ► https://markiplier.com/

Subscribe Today! ► http://bit.ly/Markiplier

Awesome Games Playlist ► https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL3tRBEVW0hiDAf0LeFLFH8S83JWBjvtqE

Scary Games Playlist ► https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL3tRBEVW0hiBSFOFhTC5wt75P2BES0rAo

Follow my Instagram ► http://instagram.com/markiplier
Follow me on Twitter ► https://twitter.com/markiplier
Like me on Facebook ► https://www.facebook.com/markiplier
Join us on Reddit! ► https://www.reddit.com/r/Markiplier/

Horror Outro ► https://soundcloud.com/shurkofficial/haunted
Happy Outro ► https://soundcloud.com/hielia/minimusicman-crazy-la-paint

Trending videos