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Late for Class - SNL

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05:02   |   Dec 02, 2017

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Late for Class - SNL
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  • >>> OKAY, CLASS, BEFORE WE DIVE INTO THE UNIT REVIEW, I HAVE --
  • CUE THE GROANS -- RUBRICS FOR MIDTERM EXAMS.
  • [ GROANS ] >> YEAH, YEAH.
  • GET IT OUT NOW. ALL RIGHT.
  • FIRST UP -- >> MR. C, SORRY I'M LATE.
  • MY DOG ATE MY ALARM CLOCK. HOLD MY BACKPACK, DANBERG.
  • OH, MR. C., KELLY'S A THIEF. SHE TOOK MY BREATH AWAY.
  • >> GO AWAY. >> OW.
  • THAT HURT MY FEELINGS. >> REJECTING ME AGAIN, HUH?
  • MUST A LESBIAN. HOLD IT.
  • BRAD, IS THAT A CIGARETTE? LET ME CHECK.
  • IT IS. SHAME ON YOU.
  • MR. C., I'LL TAKE CARE OF THIS FOR YOU.
  • HE'S A JERK. OH, FINKEL STEEN, LET ME HAVE
  • YOUR YARMULKE. MR. C., I CAN'T DO ANY HOMEWORK
  • THIS WEEK IT'S ROSH HASHANAH. SO LONG.
  • OH BOY. WHAT DID YOUR MOM MAKE ME FOR
  • LUNCH? EGG SALAD.
  • VERY GOOD. I'LL DO YOU A FAVOR AND THROW
  • THAT INTO THE TRASH. YO, YO, YO, LITTLE D, NICE --
  • NICE KICKS. DAMN, GINA.
  • >> SORRY. BAD TIME TO EMPTY THE TRASH.
  • >> IT'S THE JANITOR. QUESTION.
  • IS THE FIRST THING YOUR WIFE SAYS WHEN YOU GET HOME, YOU
  • SMELL OR YOU SMELL TERRIBLE? I'M KIDDING WITH YOU.
  • MR. C., THE FOREPLAY IS DONE. WHAT DO YOU SAY WE LEARN A
  • LITTLE BIT OF ENGLISH LIT? >> SHUT UP AND GET YOUR FEET OFF
  • THE DESK. >> YES, SIR.
  • >> YOUNG MAN, IN MY 38 YEARS AS AN EDUCATOR, I HAVE NEVER SEEN
  • ANYTHING AS MISGUIDED AND BRAZEN AS YOUR BEHAVIOR IN THESE LAST
  • THREE MINUTES. ESPECIALLY BEING AS YOU ARE NEW
  • HERE. IT IS YOUR FIRST DAY AT THIS
  • SCHOOL. [ LAUGHTER ]
  • NONE OF US HAVE EVER MET YOU. [ LAUGHTER ]
  • MY NAME, BY THE WAY, IS MR. NYSTROM, NOT MR. C.
  • AND THEIR NAMES AREN'T WHAT YOU CALLED THEM.
  • [ LAUGHTER ] FURTHERMORE, THIS IS AN ALGEBRA
  • II CLASS, NOT ENGLISH LIT. >> I'M SORRY.
  • I JUST WANTED TO MAKE A SPLASH. >> WELL, IT WAS A BELLY FLOP.
  • I THINK YOU OWE EVERYBODY HERE AN APOLOGY, STARTING WITH THE
  • YOUNG LADY THAT YOU DROOLED OVER LIKE A PIG.
  • >> I'M SORRY, KELLY. >> MY NAME IS JACQUELINE, AND
  • YOU ARE RIGHT I AM A LESBIAN. IT WAS REALLY HARD FOR ME TO
  • COME OUT, BUT THINKING ABOUT DATING A GUY LIKE YOU MAKES ME
  • REALLY GLAD I DID. [ APPLAUSE ]
  • >> YEAH, YOU GOT TO APPLAUSE THAT.
  • >> AS FOR ME, YOU DON'T GET TO KNOW MY NAME.
  • YOUR ENTIRE INTERACTION WITH ME WAS BAD, YOU OPENED WITH YO, YO,
  • YO, AND CLOSED WITH, DAMN GINA. >> I'M SUPER SORRY, AND I HOPE
  • YOU CAN FORGIVE ME ONE DAY. >> NAH.
  • >> AND MY NAME IS AARON, YOU CALLED ME BRAD.
  • I'M ALLERGIC TO SMOKE AND HAD TO STICK THIS EPIPEN IN MY LEG
  • AFTER OUR INTERACTION. THANK YOU FOR THAT.
  • >> I'M SORRY, GUYS. I'M REALLY SORRY.
  • >> NO, YOU ARE NOT. AND FOR FUTURE REFERENCE MY NAME
  • IS RANDY GOODMAN NOT FINKELSTEIN.
  • AND PLEASE NEVER USE MY YARMULKE FOR YOUR PROP COMEDY EVER AGAIN.
  • >> I'M ALSO SORRY AT WHOEVER'S LUNCH I DUNKED IN THE TRASH.
  • >> OH, NO WORRIES MAN. IT'S NOT LIKE I HAVE A STOMACH
  • ISSUE AND EVERYTHING IN THAT LUNCH WAS CAREFULLY PICKED OUT
  • BY A DIETICIAN. [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ]
  • KILLER JOKE. >> AND THAT LEAVES ME.
  • [ LAUGHTER ] I'M SORRY MY WORK ISN'T UP TO
  • YOUR STANDARDS AND IF YOU WANT TO LET MY WIFE HOW BAD I SMELL,
  • SHE'S EASY -- SHE'S EASY TO FIND.
  • PLOT 199-J AT THE NEW HAVEN CEMETERY.
  • >> WELL YOUNG MAN TODAY WAS NOT YOUR DAY BUT PERHAPS YOU WILL BE
  • ABLE TO MOVE PAST IT SOCIALLY. NOW WHAT IS YOUR NAME?
  • >> BRODY CHOAD. [ LAUGHTER ]
  • >> NOPE. NEVER MIND.
  • YOU'RE DOOMED. >> OH, YOU STARTED WITHOUT ME?
  • >> OH, MR. LYNCH HOW NICE OF YOU TO JOIN US.
  • >> YEAH, I'M SORRY, MR. NYSTROM I LOST TRACK OF TIME WHEN I WAS
  • WRITING IN MY DIARY ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE THIS CLASS.
  • [ LAUGHTER ] >> YOU SEE MR. CHOAD, THAT'S HOW
  • IT'S DONE. [ APPLAUSE ]

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Description

A student (Luke Null) enters class by interrupting the teacher (Kenan Thompson) and harassing his classmates (Saoirse Ronan, Chris Redd, Pete Davidson, Mikey Day, Kyle Mooney).

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