Last Names

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06:55   |   Jan 23, 2018


Last Names
Last Names thumb Last Names thumb Last Names thumb


  • [Intro Music]
  • I've complained about people misspelling and mispronouncing my name in the past.
  • But, that was nothing compared to the endeavors of people trying to pronounce my last name.
  • Having a Filipino surname has admittingly been an issue for me growing up in North America.
  • Heck, even I've misspelled my own name sometimes.
  • Now a lot of you are probably thinking,
  • [scoff] Filipino names aren't difficult, how dare you underestimate me? That's probably because the only Filipinos
  • You've met are the ones with Spanish surnames like, Santos or Cruz or Mendoza.
  • But I got a legit ass Filipino last name. *Panganibān*
  • I'm not gonna accept, so don't even bother
  • Anyway, I wear it proudly now, but as a kid I couldn't help
  • but feel embarrassed that people had trouble pronouncing my last name.
  • I was the immigrant. I didn't stop to think, "Man, these people are stupid because they can't read my foreign name."
  • I just accepted that I was different.
  • Whenever it was a new school year or, we had a substitute teacher
  • and they had to do roll call,
  • I'd always try to cut them off once they'd said my first name, to save them the trouble of struggling with my last name.
  • And I was always the only Dominic in my class so, it was an easy snipe.
  • Alana Nicholson
  • "Here!"
  • Brian Owen? "Present."
  • Dominic, "Here!" Puh-puh, "I'm here, I'm here."
  • [puhs continue in background] "Here! Look over here, you stupid-" [takes deep breath]
  • "Present!" Banana? How do you pronounce that?
  • Pen-Kanda-Ben?
  • "Uh, Yeah that's it. You nailed it!". No, really, how do you pronounce it?
  • Can you just start class please?
  • I mean, I tried my best to teach it to those who were genuinely interested,
  • And I get that you want to be respectful but,
  • I wasn't offended if you said it wrong, and over time I found it to be troublesome
  • and eventually just told them that any way was acceptable.
  • Except that one time the judge for my speeding ticket called me Punjah-Bob.
  • Punjah-Bob...
  • Freaking judge should have been a butcher. I envy some of you people with your low syllable count last names. Koreans
  • I'm looking at you with your Kims and Parks and Lees and others of you have surnames that work as first names like
  • Davis or Rose or Robert
  • [voice crack] How did that happen? And then you have us people who live with tongue twisters as last names,
  • I mean have you seen Thai names?
  • "Cod-Codessa-Die-Ira"
  • "Nar-Kirdru-Kano"
  • Porn, pi-, porn?
  • Goddamn! One hotly debated thing for me as a kid was how to pronounce all of my Vietnamese friends named Nguyen
  • And to this day, I'm still not sure if I'm saying it right. It's not Nagooyen or Newgen or chicken McNuggets
  • We all know that and it's not simply "when" like some people have simplified it to be."Say when!"
  • Actually, it's pronounced mu-in. All I know is it's got to come from your uvula,
  • You know that punching bag thing at the back of your mouth?
  • Moin
  • Apparently, that's the southern Vietnamese way, and the northern way is mu-in but I'm not an expert and that's my best attempt,
  • I am sorry, my Vietnamese audience. I think my favorite last name is this
  • Because it's so deceiving
  • It's literally two letters and doesn't even have a frickin vowel! How the heck do you pronounce that? It's not nug.
  • Most people say Aang but apparently that's wrong. I asked my friend, and she said it's pronounced. Are you ready for this?
  • mmm
  • mmm?
  • MMM??
  • Where's the M? It should be pronounced NGUH mMMM, it's for when I eat that good cassava cake you know?
  • MMM!
  • Yeah, that's good. You know what was always a challenge? When my friends came over and didn't know how to address my parents.
  • Because when you're a kid, you don't call your friend's parents by their first name. It's it's kind of rude
  • You gotta say mister, or missus, whatever your friend's last name is. "What a beautiful home you have Mrs.
  • Kim!" "Thank you for dinner Mr. Wilson." "Don't upload that video Mr. Paul."
  • But for my friends, it was more like, "Hi Mr. Puh-..puh-
  • uh- fuck uhhh..
  • how are you?". And I get it, my parents get it. My last name can be a mouthful and
  • So here's a tutorial on how to pronounce my last name. All right first off
  • It's four syllables, okay? Four. So don't go overboard and say 'pannanana batman'
  • The common rookie mistake is to pronounce the hard G.
  • Pan-GU-an-a-ban. It's not exactly silent either, so it's not punana ban
  • You have to continue the 'n' sound like in singER and dongER
  • Raise it. The a sound is neither long nor short
  • It's not "paayyng" or "pehng" like when people say Merio, nuh-uh. It's Mario okay
  • Pah Pang Pang-a
  • Kee-Ban. Like bonsai
  • So throw in a little Filipino accent flair and you get Panganiban.
  • There you did it probably
  • Most likely not I can't hear you and confirm because this is a video
  • But it's okay because my last name is the least of your worries when you got people with names like this
  • But yeah, that's how you pronounce my last name, which by the way means dangerous
  • I'm not even kidding the base word Panganib, means risk or danger and my middle name means foolish
  • Dominic foolish danger
  • Has a nice ring to it, so if you don't want to choke trying to correctly pronounce my last name
  • I guess you can just call me Mr. Punge-Bob
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