LOADING ...

Incredible Performances by Meryl Streep and Emma Thompson

3M+ views   |   36K+ likes   |   352 dislikes   |  
Jun 03, 2014

Thumbs

Incredible Performances by Meryl Streep and Emma Thompson
Incredible Performances by Meryl Streep and Emma Thompson thumb Incredible Performances by Meryl Streep and Emma Thompson thumb Incredible Performances by Meryl Streep and Emma Thompson thumb

Transcription

  • - I ALWAYS LOVE WHEN I HAVE ACADEMY AWARD WINNERS ON MY SHOW
  • BECAUSE THEN I CAN MAKE THEM DO SOMETHING RIDICULOUS.
  • HERE IS THREE-TIME ACADEMY AWARD WINNER MERYL STREEP
  • GIVING THE PERFORMANCE OF A LIFETIME.
  • YOU REALLY CAN DO ANYTHING.
  • I MEAN, IF YOU LOOK AT YOUR ROLES
  • ACROSS ALL OF THE FILMS THAT YOU'VE DONE, YOU'RE FUNNY.
  • YOU'RE SEXY. YOU'RE DRAMATIC.
  • YOU'RE--YOU KNOW, YOU CAN-- YOU'RE DRUNK.
  • YOU'RE EVERYTHING. - I'M BORING.
  • - YOU'RE NOT BORING. YOU'RE NEVER BORING.
  • SO I THOUGHT I WOULD PROVE IT TO EVERYONE
  • IN CASE ANYONE QUESTIONED ME ON THAT.
  • THIS IS AN OATMEAL RECIPE, AND I WOULD LIKE YOU TO READ IT,
  • BUT I WOULD LIKE YOU TO READ IT SEXY.
  • - [sultry voice] IN A SMALL SAUCEPAN,
  • BRING TWO CUPS OF WATER TO A BOIL.
  • OVER MEDIUM HIGH HEAT, STIR IN OATS.
  • WHEN OATMEAL BEGINS TO THICKEN...
  • [laughter]
  • REDUCE HEAT AND SIMMER,
  • STIRRING OCCASIONALLY, FOR 30 MINUTES.
  • [normal voice] 30 MINUTES?
  • FASTER THAN AT MY HOUSE.
  • [laughter]
  • - ALL RIGHT, THIS IS A TRAFFIC REPORT,
  • BUT YOU'RE GONNA READ IT AS A WOMAN IN LABOR.
  • - OH, MY GOD.
  • - THAT'S RIGHT. - OKAY.
  • A TRACK REPORT. - TRAFFIC.
  • - TRAFFIC, OKAY. - BUT YOU'RE IN LABOR.
  • - [breathing heavily]
  • LET'S TAKE A LOOK AT YOUR...
  • TWO-STATE DRIVE.
  • [short breaths]
  • HEAVY BACKUP. HEAVY BACKUP AS USUAL.
  • ON THE--AH!
  • I10 AND THE-- OH, MY GOD!
  • THE 710 INTO DOWNTOWN.
  • OKAY. [short breaths]
  • GOT A JACKKNIFE. BIG RIG IN THE TWO-LANE.
  • [short breaths]
  • 101 WESTBOUND AT BALBOA-- [screams]
  • OH! OH! OH!
  • OH, I WOULDN'T CONSIDER GETTING THROUGH THERE ANYTIME SOON.
  • [laughter]
  • OH, THAT'S GOOD.
  • [cheers and applause]
  • - ONE LAST ONE, ONE LAST ONE.
  • THIS IS WIKIPEDIA, BUT YOU'RE READING IT
  • AS AN ANNOYED TEENAGER.
  • YOU'VE HAD ONE OF THOSE.
  • - HOW CAN I PULL THAT UP?
  • [scoffs]
  • [groans]
  • THE FIRST RECORDED INSTANCE OF SANDPAPER
  • WAS IN THE 13TH CENTURY, MOTHER,
  • WHEN CRUSHED SHELLS, SEEDS, AND SAND
  • WERE BONDED TO PARCHMENT USING NATURAL GUM.
  • OKAY?
  • [applause]
  • - I LOVE HER SO MUCH.
  • AND HERE'S WHAT HAPPENED
  • WHEN TWO-TIME ACADEMY AWARD WINNER EMMA THOMPSON STOPPED BY.
  • ALL RIGHT, SO YOU'RE GONNA MAKE ANIMAL NOISES,
  • AND I'M GONNA GUESS THE ANIMAL.
  • - ALL RIGHT.
  • - LOOK, I CAN TELL HER TO DO ANYTHING.
  • SHE'S JUST, "OKAY. I'LL DO IT."
  • ALL RIGHT, SHOULD WE HAVE TIME ON THE CLOCK, OR WE'LL JUST GO?
  • WELL, A MINUTE ON THE CLOCK.
  • - UH...
  • BAWK, BAWK, BAWK, BAWK.
  • BAWK, BAWK, BAWK.
  • - I THINK THAT'S A CHICKEN. - YES!
  • - UM...
  • OH!
  • OH, GOD, I DON'T KNOW.
  • WAIT. I'LL HAVE TO JUST DO IT.
  • - A TURTLE?
  • IS THAT A TURTLE?
  • OH, IS THAT AN ORANGUTAN?
  • IS THAT A MONKEY?
  • IS IT SOME TYPE OF A--
  • A SPIDER MONKEY.
  • IT'S A--
  • IT'S A GIBBONS.
  • IT'S A GORILLA.
  • - [whinnies]
  • - IT'S A HORSE. - MM.
  • UH...
  • [squeals]
  • - DONKEY?
  • - [squealing]
  • - THAT'S A GIBBONS.
  • - NO, IT'S NOT A GIBBON.
  • A GIBBON GOES, "WHOOP! WHOOP!"
  • - OKAY, ALL RIGHT.
  • - HANG ON. WAIT.
  • - [squealing]
  • OH, OINK! OINK!
  • - A PIG.
  • - JEEZ!
  • OH!
  • [buzzer sounds]
  • - [barking]
  • - I'M GONNA KEEP PLAYING.
  • - [laughs]
  • UM... OH.
  • [trumpets]
  • - AN ELEPHANT? - YEAH.
  • - UM... - HARD WAY TO DO AN ELEPHANT.
  • - OH...
  • [brays]
  • - A DONKEY. THAT'S A DONKEY.
  • - MOO. - A COW.
  • - [bleating]
  • - THAT'S A SHEEP.
  • - UH...
  • WAIT.
  • [knocking]
  • - THAT'S A WOODPECKER.
  • - UM...
  • [howling]
  • - THAT'S A WOLF.
  • - YES.
  • UM...
  • [cawing]
  • OH, NO, THAT'S WRONG.
  • UM, UM...
  • IT'S A--IT'S A--
  • [caws weakly]
  • [laughs]
  • I CAN'T DO IT!
  • - ALL RIGHT.
  • - UM...
  • WELL, THAT-- COCK-A-DOODLE-DOO.
  • - A ROOSTER.
  • - [hooting]
  • - ARE YOU A GHOST?
  • - [laughs]
  • - ARE YOU A DOVE?
  • - [hoots]
  • TWIT-TWOO.
  • TWIT-TWOO.
  • TWIT-TWOO!
  • UH, YEAH.
  • - TWIT-TWOO?
  • - TWIT-TWOO.
  • THAT'S HOW WE WOULD WRITE IT IN OUR ENGLISH LANGUAGE,
  • THAT YOU CLEARY DON'T SHARE AT THIS MOMENT.
  • UM, UM...
  • OH, I KNOW. UM...
  • AND THEN...
  • YOU KNOW, WHEN THEY GO UPSIDE DOWN
  • IN THE WATER.
  • WHEN THEY GO UPSIDE DOWN.
  • I'M TRYING TO--
  • [cheers and applause]

Download subtitle

Description

Ellen looked back at some spectacular performances on her show by two of the greatest living actors.