Gosh Bless You | Rudy Mancuso

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04:51   |   Jul 23, 2017


Gosh Bless You | Rudy Mancuso
Gosh Bless You | Rudy Mancuso thumb Gosh Bless You | Rudy Mancuso thumb Gosh Bless You | Rudy Mancuso thumb


  • GOSH: What's up, bro?
  • RUDY: Wh-what's happening right now? GOSH: Look, there's no easy way to say this but um... you're dead.
  • GOSH: Actually, that was pretty easy to say. RUDY: I'm dead? I died?
  • GOSH: Yeah man, you got into a car accident. Um, ya know...I'm sorry bro.
  • RUDY: Are you- are you serious? GOSH: Unfortunately.
  • RUDY: Are you- are you God?
  • GOSH: Uh... No, no, not really, no. RUDY: Who are you?
  • GOSH: I'm, uh- I'm Gosh. RUDY: Gosh? GOSH: Gosh, I'm Gosh.
  • You know like "Oh my gosh"!
  • GOSH: Nice to meet you. I'm Gosh. RUDY: Oh my gosh. GOSH: Exactly.
  • RUDY: I don't- I don't get it. I'm confused. GOSH: Like God, except um...
  • GOSH: A little crappier. You know. Not as good.
  • RUDY: Okay...
  • RUDY: What was that? GOSH: Just like a little- a little dance, a little like introduction.
  • RUDY: Just uh, I just... So- so what do you... what do you do?
  • GOSH: Okay, so like for example, you know how like the other day, when you were watching TV
  • GOSH: And you couldn't find the remote control? RUDY: Uh-huh?
  • GOSH: And then you found it under the couch? That was me. You're welcome. RUDY: Uh, okay?
  • GOSH: You know when you're like at the restaurant, and you go to the bathroom, and when you come back the food's already there?
  • That's me. Or when you randomly found that five dollar bill in your pocket?
  • Who do you think put it there?
  • This guy. Gosh.
  • RUDY: So that girl I hooked up with last week, the really hot girl, that was you?
  • GOSH: No, no, no. That was- that was...That was God.
  • Uh, let's see what else did I create? Uh, you know Thursday? Thursday, like the day before Friday? That's me.
  • Uh, sneezing? Sneezing was my idea.
  • RUDY: Interesting. GOSH: Uh, girls who are kind of hot? Like sixes and sevens, that's me.
  • Uh, seats on a plane that actually like have a surprising amount of leg room? Me.
  • You're welcome, bro.
  • RUDY: So, what is this? Heaven?
  • GOSH: Uh, not really, no. Uh, it's actually Kevin!
  • RUDY: Kevin? GOSH: Yeah, Kevin. It's like Heaven except um...
  • GOSH: Except a lot crappier. RUDY: What do you mean?
  • GOSH: Well, you know, like Heaven- Heaven has like Netflix, and like pizza...
  • And really beautiful people, really comfortable couches....
  • It's not so bad here. You know, we got flat screen TVs.
  • Uh, the remote- the remote control doesn't really work...
  • So you gotta like do the buttons on the TV? But you know...
  • We have- we have cereal! We have really good cereal. We don't have any milk... But we have- we have cereal!
  • We got a- we got a ping-pong table! The ball doesn't really bounce but, you know, you can use your imagination...
  • We have a gym! A really nice gym, actually. A dope gym.
  • Uh, the membership is pretty expensive, but it's... you know. It's not so bad, you know.
  • It's not great. It's not like Heaven. Like, Heaven has like chairs and places to sit. Here, we just like...
  • Stand. We just stand. Always.
  • But you get used to it, you know. You want beer? RUDY: I'm uh- I'm okay.
  • GOSH: It's kinda warm but...
  • RUDY: I just... I can't, I'm just confused, man. GOSH: Okay, bro, this is how works. Listen.
  • There's God. Okay? The ruler of Heaven.
  • Then there's me, Gosh. The ruler of Kevin.
  • Then there's Yosh. The ruler of... 7-Eleven.
  • RUDY: Okay... Weird. GOSH: And that's just how it works, you know. And then, you know...
  • Down there, there's some bad stuff, but won't get into that right now. RUDY: I just can't believe I'm... I'm dead!
  • GOSH: I mean you were on your phone while you were driving, bro. What do you expect?
  • RUDY: I was watching an Instagram video. It was uh- it was funny. GOSH: Come on, bro.
  • RUDY: Can I just get a second chance or something? GOSH: Can't do that, bro. I cannot do that, I'll lose my job. RUDY: Please?
  • GOSH: Imma lose my job? I gotta pay for warm beer. Listen, bro. RUDY: Please.
  • GOSH: Truth is... you're an okay person. You're not great.
  • You're not terrible. You're okay. And this is where okay people go! Kevin!
  • RUDY: Can I- can I at least go to Heaven? Or something? Please?
  • GOSH: You know, bro, you're being really disrespectful. You know that? What's wrong with Kevin?
  • RUDY: I just... GOSH: What's wrong with Kevin?
  • RUDY: I mean nothing... I just- it just kinda sucks here.
  • GOSH: I've had enough of your crap.
  • I've had enough your crap. You've been doing nothing but complaining since you've been here. You're not welcome here no more.
  • Get out of Kevin! RUDY: What are you doing?
  • Oh, what are you doing? What are you doing?
  • RULER OF HECK: What's up, bro? RUDY: Am I in Hell?
  • RULER OF HECK: Uh, no, not really, no.
  • Uh, this is Heck. RUDY: Heck?
  • RULER OF HECK: It's like Hell, except it's not as bad. You know.
  • It still sucks. It's like hot and...
  • There's no Wi-Fi and stuff. RUDY: It's unbelievable.
  • RULER OF HECK: Want a beer?
  • No? RUDY: No. RULER OF HECK: Okay...

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