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Game Theory: Luigi, the RICHEST Man in the Mushroom Kingdom? (Super Mario Bros)

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16:10   |   Jan 05, 2017

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Game Theory: Luigi, the RICHEST Man in the Mushroom Kingdom? (Super Mario Bros)
Game Theory: Luigi, the RICHEST Man in the Mushroom Kingdom? (Super Mario Bros) thumb Game Theory: Luigi, the RICHEST Man in the Mushroom Kingdom? (Super Mario Bros) thumb Game Theory: Luigi, the RICHEST Man in the Mushroom Kingdom? (Super Mario Bros) thumb

Transcription

  • A room full of suits of armor, a giant haunted crib, and a graveyard that you'll be dying to get into
  • We'll be pricing it all as we get a tour through Luigi's mansion today
  • On this edition of "Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous"
  • *Game Theory intro theme*
  • *laughing* so bad at impressions and accents *continues laughing* OH it is embarrassing
  • Hello Internet, and welcome to Game Theory
  • Where first and foremost, where are my notification- squad at?
  • Shout out to all those loyal bell ringers
  • Now today, we're finally doing an episode I planned to do back in October,
  • but then FNAF just HAD to release a game
  • Luigi: always being forced to play second fiddle
  • First to Mario, and now to Mangle
  • Then again, is it really that big of a deal?
  • This IS a video covering "Luigi's Mansion", a game released over 15 years ago
  • I'd say the window for relevant hype has sufficiently passed
  • Or has it?
  • ...yeah it really has
  • But it is worth noting that last summer, Nintendo released a new "Luigi's Mansion" arcade game exclusive to Japan
  • It was one that I actually made sure to check out when I was recently over there
  • Granted I had ZERO idea of how to actually play since, you know, Japanese
  • But brandishing a giant, plastic vacuum was pretty awesome
  • Anyways, this is gonna end up being a long episode so lets just skip the rest of the intro and cut right to the chase
  • -Random game selection, at random time of year
  • jokey, jokey, FNAF reference, EPISODE START-
  • For those of you unfamiliar with Nintendo's little spin-off series,
  • "Luigi's Mansion" is puts you in the shoes of Mario (secretly a sociopath) Mario's overlooked and over shadowed brother
  • who through no merit of his own has just won a mansion in a raffle he never entered
  • Gotta say, I am a bit jealous since the best thing I ever won out of a raffle is a pie
  • but hey, good for him
  • I celebrate his victories
  • You know come to think of it, It wasn't even a good pie
  • It was key lime, which is like the Waluigi of pies
  • Sure there's nothing else on the table, you're gonna eat it
  • but, you know, if there's an apple pie on that table you're gonna go for that one first
  • Anyways, as it turns out the whole, "Here's a free mansion" thing was just a trap
  • put together by King Boo
  • To lure Mario and Co. out into the open and imprison their souls in paintings, as you do.
  • Because in the Mario universe it's ALWAYS a painting
  • Mario gets himself caught and Luigi has to strap on his big boy pants,
  • grab the nearest dust-buster,
  • and alternatively suck and blow his way straight to the top
  • Of the mansion
  • It's basically the plot of "Resident Evil" if the protagonist were an antiquated racial stereotype of Italian immigrants
  • instead of a poorly voiced bundle of polygons
  • *audio clip from Resident Evil* "What? OH! OH NO!" *applause*
  • Now this all got me thinking,
  • How much did this little failed mission of King Boo's cost?
  • I mean, outside of just being horrendously elaborate
  • It also had to be seriously expensive
  • And that's not me just coming up with a random topic for an episode
  • Money plays a HUGE role throughout this game,
  • Ultimately determining the size of the new mansion that Luigi gets at the end of the game
  • In other words, there is value to all of this stuff that you see
  • From the house itself, to the golden jewels contained inside
  • But how much is it?
  • How rich does this game make Luigi by the end of it?
  • An impossible to answer question, you say?
  • Absolutely!
  • *reads above quote from The New York Times*
  • Well of course it is!
  • But darn it I'm gonna do it anyway since it gives me and excuse to research the post 2008 housing market,
  • architectural trends through the decades,
  • pixel sizes, run speeds, and currency exchanges
  • all while talking about one of the most fascinating entries in the Mario canon
  • Now stand aside naysayers, I gotta date with a fictional haunted mansion
  • Now before we can even start pricing mansions
  • you gotta first know what you're working with
  • What sort of amenities does your mansion have?
  • Where is it located?
  • How old is it?
  • How many square feet is the darn thing?
  • Is it even really large enough to qualify as a mansion?
  • Well in order to figure that one out, we gotta start somewhere that's really, REALLY counter-intuitive...
  • Luigi's height
  • Because as all you loyal theorists know by now
  • in the cartoonishly misproportioned world of the Mario universe
  • It's hard to tell exactly what size anything is
  • As over the last 5 years of this show, I've calculated and recalculated Mario's height
  • no less than 4 times based on varying pieces of evidence
  • Coming up with some pretty wonky results at times
  • Like the fact that Wario is 10' tall or 304 cm(3.04m)
  • Which was supported by the math
  • Just not by any sort of known...logic
  • ANYWAY
  • The standard we settled on in the "Mario at the Olympics" video
  • Was that Mario is and forever shall be 155 cm., or 5'1'' tall
  • Doing some simple pixel measurements from there
  • it means that Luigi is 175 cm., or 5'8'' tall.
  • But why do we need to know Luigi's height?
  • Well knowing it, we can figure out the length of Luigi's stride
  • and the speed at which he moves through this game
  • that in turn allows me to figure out the dimensions of any given room in the mansion
  • by timing how long it takes to get him to run across it
  • And it has to be measured in time
  • Since it's incredibly difficult to account for the slanted perspective of the game
  • Which would throw off the traditional pixel measurements of the room
  • Once I had the data, I was able to build out a pixel:foot ratio that
  • I applied to the in-game mini map
  • And from there, measured out all the rooms and floors of the house
  • and several hours of measurements and calculations later
  • we wound up with a working square footage of this
  • colossal, old house sporting 3 whole floors and 36 total rooms
  • Doing all the math
  • this thing comes in at just under 30,000 square ft.,
  • or 2,787 square meters
  • Solidly within the range of what constitutes a mansion,
  • which is considered a meager 8,000 square ft., or 743 square meters
  • Just to give you an idea of exactly how large Luigi's mansion is
  • Here is a picture of Mark Wahlberg's mansion
  • which is the exact same size
  • And I use the word "mansion" loosely because it is not just a mansion, it is a MEGA mansion
  • It's about half the size of the White House
  • or half the size of a football field
  • And remember we're talking about the square footage of the house
  • Which if you've never had the mixed joy and stress of buying a house,
  • is the measure of the finished floors of the home
  • It's not including the amount of land around the house,
  • or any unfinished attics or basements
  • So when I say that it's half a football field-sized house,
  • I mean that the rooms alone when laid together would be the size of half a football field
  • And sure, those houses are crazy big
  • But if you want an EXTREME example of what a 30,000 square foot residence looks like,
  • look no further than our dear president, Donald Trump
  • Who actually has a 30,000 square foot apartment in New York
  • APARTMENT
  • The fact that his thing can be classified using the exact same word as my 250 square foot closet that I lived in when I was in New York
  • is just MIND BLOWING to me
  • This is a New York apartment
  • THIS...is just insane
  • Now as you can imagine the prices of a home this size
  • are gonna vary quite a bit
  • Trump's penthouse for example is valued at $100,000,000
  • But that's also in New York City right alongside Central Park
  • It also happens to be covered in enough gold to stuff Bowser's train bonus level
  • So his might not be the best example to follow
  • Looking around more
  • I found that 30,000 square foot mansions pepper the entire United States
  • ranging on average between $2 million and $20 million
  • So...where does that leave us?
  • Well...unfortunately, you can't just plug video game mansions into Zillow and get a magical value spat back into your lap
  • So we're gonna need a little bit more research for this one
  • First, we have to figure out what kind of house we're looking at
  • You see, most of the priciest mansions on the market these days are modern constructions
  • with modern amenities
  • Neo-futuristic super castles
  • When shopping for mansions, or any house really
  • you need to be aware of how old the house is
  • Newer homes are always gonna cost you a bit more since everything is fresh and up-to-code
  • Now OBVIOUSLY this is not the kind of mansion that Luigi finds himself trapped in during his quest to rescue Mario
  • But to determine the range of prices this house would be operating in,
  • we need to determine just how old it is
  • And this is actually a really fun question
  • Fun, of course, if you're a nerd like me who loves overanalyzing in-game details that the developers left in
  • Because Nintendo was super smart and left little design details that allow us to pinpoint the exact time period when this house would have been built
  • You see, architecture is a lot like clothes
  • With design patterns, shapes, and overall home layouts
  • all having trends based on their time period
  • Falling in and out of fashion throughout the years just like JNCO jeans and snap bracelets
  • Seriously though, JNKO jeans
  • You could shove your whole head in that pantleg
  • WHAT WERE WE THINKING??
  • So just how old of a house is this old house?
  • Well to pinpoint what era it would've been built in
  • we have to look at the design details
  • And without even going inside, there's a lot of clues that can help us
  • First off, check out that roof
  • That style of steep-sloping roof with windows peeking through
  • where the roof is around the sides of the building?
  • That's known as a Mansard roof
  • You see it a lot in Europe,
  • especially in very historical cities like Paris
  • But lets not stop there
  • Looking at the overall layout of the mansion will give us a clue as to when it was built
  • The mansion is blueprinted out in a simple box shape
  • with no fancy wings or long hallways to different sections of the house
  • It's very contained
  • Symmetrical
  • Once you're actually inside
  • one of the main features is that bold central staircase
  • and a ton of chandeliers
  • And looking at the actual classifications and uses of the rooms
  • we can see elaborate ballrooms and art rooms
  • In short, all of these design details clearly point to one era in architecture: Victorian
  • And not just any old Victorian style
  • this mansion very distinctly falls into what's called the Victorian Second Empire style
  • It's called "Second Empire" because it's an architectural style that became popular during the reign of Emperor Napoleon the 3rd in France
  • This was a period where the French empire was rebuilding itself
  • thus creating a second empire in the mid 1800s
  • Make sense?
  • Second Empire Victorian
  • Look at that, video games teaching you about old-world European architectural trends
  • Where else online are you gonna find stuff like this?
  • Fun Fact: It's also known as Baroque Revival Architecture
  • *disk scratch* actually, that's not a fun fact at all
  • it's just a fact
  • It also has no bearing on the episode at all
  • I tell you it only in the hopes that it may one day be useful to you in a Quizbowl tournament or pub trivia
  • You know, the places where information TRULY matters *sarcasm*
  • *soft piano*
  • Anyways, second era houses
  • -even HUGE ones-
  • are surprisingly cheap as far as mansions go
  • But don't you go running for those loan applications just yet
  • they're affordable because they generally require huge modernization investments
  • including rewiring absolutely EVERYTHING,
  • re-pouring the foundation,
  • and just generally making sure that the darn thing doesn't collapse into a pile of dust
  • Plus they have practically no insulation to speak of
  • and are gonna be drafty as all get out
  • "Green friendly" these houses are NOT
  • The most expensive Victorian mansions come in at just about $30.00 per square foot
  • or $30.00 per 0.1 square meter
  • which when multiplied out gives our mansion a value of $896,312.03
  • Less than a million dollars for a house the size of half a football field
  • When you think about it that way, it ain't too bad!
  • But remember, that's just for the shell of the house
  • Luigi's mansion comes fully furnished
  • Granted, you might not want that furniture
  • but you still gotta pay for it
  • Chandeliers, art, undead baby cribs
  • HECK, it even comes with it's own graveyard
  • WHICH
  • (and this is a fun fact)
  • would cost over $70,000 to get rid of if you wanted to legally relocate the human remains
  • Notice though, that I said, "legally".
  • *Thunder crash*
  • *heavy footsteps*
  • *creepy music slowly intensifies*
  • *more footsteps*
  • *slams door*
  • *more loud, creepy sounds and thunder crashes*
  • *Matpat whispers to Luigi* "Your secret is safe with me"
  • Add into that amount all the antique furniture,
  • china,
  • three leopard skin rugs,
  • a giant harp,
  • and 9 FULL suits of armor
  • (yes, I counted)
  • and you're looking at an extra 400 GRAND from all the junk inside of it
  • And mind you, that's not including the cost
  • you'd have to pay for the army of Roombas you'd want roaming the place
  • I mean seriously, every time Luigi humps a new cabinet
  • dust just pours out of that thing
  • *cabinet thumps* Luigi(in-game audio): "Oh yeah!"(repeatedly at gradually faster speeds) Matpat: "Oh no Luigi...Oh...No."
  • ANYWAYS
  • This springs our total cost of Luigi's mansion to $1,315,433.51
  • Or basically what Ryan's Toy Review channel earned off at 680,000,000 views in the month of December
  • How's that make you feel?
  • We're all getting out-earned by a FOUR-YEAR-OLD
  • Youtube: maker of dreams
  • Alright, alright I'm not a four-year-old toy reviewer
  • so that 1.3 million dollars might be a little bit more than I'm willing to pay
  • But I'm in luck
  • Luigi's mansion might still be in our price range thanks to the rules around "stigmatized properties"
  • You see, any house or property that's had something terrible
  • or stigmatizing happen in it
  • can be drastically reduced in value
  • Murder? Stigmatized!
  • Suicide? Stigmatized!
  • The ghost of Luigi hanging itself in the attic?
  • That property be STIGMATIZED, son!
  • A stigmatized property is the best
  • It's like Black Friday deals for murder dens
  • with price reductions going as high as 25%
  • Best of all, it doesn't matter when the tragedy occurred
  • the stigmatization can last for DECADES
  • Turns out, people tend to not want to live in homes that were scenes of brutal murders
  • But I guess I can understand why
  • Blood stains are IMPOSSIBLE to get out of the carpet
  • I've tried bleach, I've tried vinegar, I've tried baking soda
  • None of it works
  • So when it comes to Luigi's mansion,
  • sure, maybe not every ghost died in there
  • but seriously, we can be pretty sure that
  • a mother, father, and their infant child met an unfortunate end inside it's halls
  • The rooms are still decked out for this family
  • So assuming you're comfortable living in the presence of the walking dead
  • it makes our final running total for Luigi's entry on the "MTV Cribs" programming slate
  • A cool $986,575.13
  • Just shy of 1 million
  • WHAT A STEAL!
  • So Luigi becoming the owner of his own mansion
  • isn't gonna quite make him as well off as you might expect
  • Or does it?
  • You see, the big twist here is that
  • while the mansion might not be worth all that much
  • the piles, and piles, and PILES of extra treasure that are hidden INSIDE that mansion
  • in the form of gems, coins, dollar bills, and freakin' GOLD BARS
  • are worth a WHOLE heck of a lot more
  • And they're REAL
  • As we see Luigi using all of this wealth at the end of the game to pay for his new house
  • So, using the cheapest value of a good delivery gold bar at the smallest size of 350 troy ounces
  • -or just over 10 kilograms-
  • to determine the approximate value of 1G
  • G= the games currency
  • By doing that, I learned that these ghosts have dumped over $500,000,000 worth of change
  • in between those couch cushions
  • HOLY GOLD STANDARD, Batman!
  • No wonder Luigi is so excited to hump the furniture!
  • Who is bankrolling these ghosts??
  • And if you think that I'm pulling that number out of thin air
  • Oh no, my friends, think again
  • We priced as much as we could
  • Here's a brief glimpse of that shopping list
  • In other words,
  • in one run-down mansion, King Boo and his thugs crammed over 500 OTHER mansions worth of treasure into the place!
  • Just sitting there, waiting to be vacuumed up!
  • Suck on that Mark Wahlberg, you and your mansion ain't cutting it!
  • Luigi is worth a cool 500 million
  • What are you at? What? 200 million?
  • HA! Sucks to be you!
  • *disk scratch* Actually, no. No it probably doesn't
  • So loyal theorists, there you have it
  • If you wanna get rich,
  • be sure to find a giant haunted, "Second Empire" era Victorian mansion
  • filled with ghosts who have no idea what the value of the dollar is
  • But in the end, the true moral of today's episode that we can all walk away with is this:
  • Sure, we all may feel bad for Luigi because he's the forgotten brother and all that,
  • but seriously, save your tears
  • The guy's got more money than all of us put together
  • I looked it up, there are 2,600 people in the world who have 500 million dollars or more
  • He is the 0.0001%
  • So you know what?
  • Suck it up Luigi, you filthy rich bastard!
  • BUT HEY!
  • That's just a theory,
  • A GAME Theory!
  • Thanks for watching! :)

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Sure Mario may get the girl, but Luigi apparently gets the gold. I always wondered how Luigi wound up with his own mansion. Turns out, he's filthy rich. He'd have to be to afford a home like that. But just how rich are we talkin'? I'm about to show you.

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THANKS to Edward for the amazing editing on this video!

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