Game Theory: Kirby...Dream Land's Biggest THREAT! pt 1

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00:00   |   Mar 10, 2019


Game Theory: Kirby...Dream Land's Biggest THREAT! pt 1
Game Theory: Kirby...Dream Land's Biggest THREAT! pt 1 thumb Game Theory: Kirby...Dream Land's Biggest THREAT! pt 1 thumb Game Theory: Kirby...Dream Land's Biggest THREAT! pt 1 thumb


  • [Theme music]
  • Hello Internet!
  • Welcome to Game Theory,
  • The show that hungers for the truth, just as much as Kirby hungers for cake.
  • You know come to think of it, I also hunger for cake a lot too though.
  • Okay game theory cake, with a dollop of truth.
  • Dear viewer, I ask you: What is the true nature of Kirby?
  • Now, most people would say that he's a cute pink puffball, the hungry little alien protector of planet Popstar.
  • Online though,
  • Certain circles take a different view.
  • Kirby as an insatiable God, a walking black hole with no mercy for anything that he consumes.
  • It's funny, for years, I've had a suspicion that the Kirby series is more mature than we give it credit for.
  • I mean it is the only, Nintendo franchise to feature a naked woman after all.
  • And if you've ever played a Kirby game all the way through,
  • you probably know that the final bosses tend to be far more mature than any of the game that came before.
  • As a kid I was scarred by Kirby's Dreamland 3, 1 minute
  • I'm playing in this childlike pencil drawn world, and the next,
  • Dedede's stomach rips open like something you'd see out of "The Thing."
  • Then you have zeros eye, shattering out of his egg body, only to chase you down while it's still bleeding?
  • I mean just a few minutes ago,
  • I was riding a freakin oversized hamster, but you gotta admit the Kirby strategy is actually kinda brilliant
  • The main story is cute and easy and kids can get a sense of accomplishment for making whispy woods cry for like the umpteenth time
  • But with in most modern Kirby games now,
  • There's deeper more adult
  • content hidden as a completion bonus for the hardcore gamers, (the hardcore gamers who, you know play Kirby games), as a result you have this
  • Interesting duality that exists in Kirby games, cute on the outside,
  • But dark and twisted on the inside, like a rotting tootsie roll pop. So what is
  • Kirby? Is he hero of Popstar?
  • Or is he a world consuming villain?
  • A pink puff ball for good, or a fiery god of evil? The games tell us time and again that he's a hero.
  • But can we believe what they're saying?
  • Surprisingly Kirby Lore does have an answer. Over the years, the games have slowly been revealing more and more
  • of what the true nature of Kirby is and the answers, they're starting to give, are shocking!
  • No, Kirby is not a hero, but he's also not necessarily evil either!
  • It's my theory, that if you manage to piece together, all the clues sprinkled throughout the series, canonically speaking Kirby is a
  • reincarnated god of destruction the equivalent of a mindless, super weapon related to some of the deadliest and scariest
  • antagonists that have been haunting these games, from the very beginning. It sounds crazy right? We're still talking about Kirby, aren't we?
  • I thought so too at first, but based on in-game lore bits, all of this seems to be what the designers are
  • intending to do with this character, so stick around at the end of this two-part theory
  • I don't think you'll ever be able to look at Kirby, the same way again.
  • It may seem that Kirby's a hero, because he's constantly saving his home Dreamland from multiple intergalactic threats, but upon closer inspection
  • you'll see one common thread across all of his stories, Kirby is the one
  • unleashing the threats in the first place. In"Kirby's Adventure".
  • The second game of the series, Kirby is on a quest to restore dreams to Dreamland, to do this
  • we're told that he has to collect pieces of the Star Rod, which was shattered by the evil King Dedede. In truly heroic form, Kirby
  • assembles the shards defeats Dedede and Dedede begs him to stop.
  • Literally, gets dragged across the ground, as he tries to convince Kirby to stop what he's about to do.
  • But, Kirby who you'll quickly learn is surprisingly stubborn for a pink blob.
  • Ignores Dedede and goes through with replacing the Star Rod, but instead of saving everyone's dreams.
  • This one simple act, instead summons the true villain of the game,
  • Nightmare, who needed the Star Rod as the last piece to completely conquer Dreamland, in one of gaming's
  • earliest twist endings, Dedede was actually acting as the good guy the
  • entire time, by destroying the Star Rod and giving the pieces to his Guardians, our King Penguin here, was trying to keep the
  • powerful item out of Nightmare's evil clutches. Kirby, by assembling the rod and bringing it back
  • unleashes evil that Dedede had captured and contained.
  • It's no wonder that in future games, Dedede is described as having a grudge against Kirby. This
  • establishes very early on in the series that Kirby resorts to violence first, and asks questions later.
  • It gets even worse from here. In, "Return to Dreamland". It's the exact same plot again, floating jellybean
  • Magolor, crash lands his ship on Popstar, and asks Kirby to help him rebuild. Kirby, of course
  • obliges, then, Magolor, asks Kirby to go one step further by, defeating the four-headed dragon, Landia.
  • What reason does he give Kirby for attacking this creature? That's it's evil, that it's a threat?
  • He actually doesn't say all that much, but Kirby doesn't need a reason anyway
  • He just agrees and jumps into action beating up a dragon, that he knows
  • literally nothing about.
  • Landia drops its prized Master Crown and wouldn't you know it but Magolor is there, waiting eager to snatch it up. The whole
  • time, he was misleading Kirby, gaslighting him, expecting our pink puffball to do the dirty work for him taking a hit, out on Landia.
  • Just so he can swoop in and grab the Master crown for himself.
  • Definitely put"s him calling Kirby, his hero into a whole new context, again, for a second time,
  • we see Kirby just resorting to violence.
  • Hopping directly into action without looking to see what the real facts might be. In the process Kirby winds up injuring a lot of
  • innocents and gives the evil Magolor exactly what he wanted, and what he has unable to retrieve on his own. What another creature
  • in this case,
  • Landia, was trying to protect. Kirby again
  • unleashes a villain, that, without his help would have never seen the light of day.
  • Speaking of villains who swooped in at the last minute,
  • Let's talk "Milky Way Wishes", when the Sun and Moon are fighting up in the sky one civilian speaks up with a solution,
  • Marx, his proposed answer to this literal star war is to summon, Nova, a giant space watch that grants wishes.
  • Making it basically an nerder version of Shen Run from Dragon Ball.
  • Kirby travels planet, to planet, to harness each one star power, making him quite literally, an invading alien
  • army to the locals of that area, and after decimating seven planets worth of creatures, (eat your heart out Samus.). Kirby
  • successfully summons, Nova.
  • But before he can make his wish and justify all the damage, he just caused across the galaxy, Kirby is betrayed by
  • Marx, who wishes to take over Popstar. Meaning that for a third time now,
  • We see a villain, taking advantage of our innocent Kirby. Kirby goes on to defeat Marx,
  • but, also has to destroy Nova in the process, leaving the universe one step back from where this quest first started and ultimately
  • lnvalidating all the bloodshed, from all those planets that he just visited. But, it's the fourth time,
  • that's really the charm for Kirby, and starts to show the problems with his character, in "Squeak Squad.".
  • Kirby's Strawberry Shortcake goes missing, and Kirby immediately jumps to the conclusion, that it must be the work of King Dedede
  • No investigation. No evidence. Just a pure guess that it's the king, and from there,
  • it's straight to clobber in time, with Kirby inhailing his way through dream lambs
  • inhabitants, who have
  • nothing to do with the cake!
  • Kirby doesn't even assume that, they have anything to do with the cake, and yet he still
  • feels it necessary to destroy them as he goes ass (bonkers), finally
  • He gets to the castle, where he promptly, roughs up the king. Again a huge amount of violence for some missing Strawberry
  • Shortcake, and true to his 'ask questions later' mentality, it's only after Dedede is passed out on the floor,
  • thanks to the Kirby beatdown, that it suddenly occurs to him quote,
  • "Of course Dedede doesn't know anything about the (strawberry shortcake) cake". A bit late to figure that one out, huh Kirby?
  • Instead, it's revealed that the true culprits are the Squeak Squad. Mouse-like-thieves who stole the cake, alongside a mysterious chest from Dedede's castle.
  • Thinking the chest contains his missing dessert, Kirby gives chase and alongside the Squeak Squad.
  • Eventually opens it which releases yet another brand new evil this time called, Dark Nebula
  • Once again, an evil entity that was successfully kept trapped, until Kirby got involved.
  • Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. Fool me three times,
  • it's getting repetitive. Fool me four times and well, maybe the series just needs to spice up its general plot structure.
  • It's this fourth retelling of the story, though
  • That's especially
  • Revealing when it comes to Kirby's character, because not only is Kirby
  • creating the problems that he ends up having to solve, but in most of these circumstances. He has to be
  • forced to actually take action, to clean up his own messes. In, "Kirby's Adventure". When Nightmare appears,
  • it's Dee Dee Dee who literally has to launch Kirby at him in order to get him to do anything. In, "Return to Dreamland".
  • Same story, Magolor betrays the team, and Kirby doesn't have a clue what's really going on.
  • I mean look at his face! It's not until Landia, the dragon
  • you beat all to heck for no apparent reason, picks Kirby up and throws him on his back that
  • Kirby takes any action against Magolor. In "Squeak Squad".
  • It's even more telling, we literally just see someone release a galactic evil. And here's Kirby, just worried about his cake.
  • In fact, the game makes it very clear that that's the only reason he goes on to fight Dark Nebula.
  • Quote, "The smoke envelops the squeaks and disappears into space.
  • How awful! At this rate, the Strawberry Shortcake will be lost forever."
  • Even at the end of the game, Kirby who just saved the universe, only is happy when his cake is returned. But, simply,
  • Kirby doesn't act heroically on his own. He just gets pointed in a direction, sometimes good,
  • More often bad, and just destroys
  • mindlessly. until the task is done.
  • He's an unfocused weapon of mass destruction, not caring about good or evil, or what he's fighting for. Just fixated on whatever impulse
  • strikes him in the moment, even in the story as absurd as "Epic Yarn".
  • Does anyone remember why Kirby decided to fight the Evil Sorcerer "Yinyarn"?
  • It's not because he was going around turning people into yarn creatures, like a hero would. It was because Kirby wanted to eat a Tomato.
  • "Kirby saw his favorite food, a bright red Tomato, and when Kirby tried to eat it, a caped sorcerer appeared.
  • No! That's my magic Metamato!
  • Kirby gulped the Metamato right down. Just then a white Sock on the Sorcerer's neck began to glow.
  • Then it sucked Kirby up!" In the stories,
  • We see Kirby, eventually aligns to the side of good, but it's a rarely because he chooses to be good
  • He's the embodiment of a chaotic neutral force, now compare his actions to those of both Dedede and Meta Knight.
  • Dedede breaks the Star Rod to protect Dreamland, giving Meta Knight one of the shards to guard the Pandora's box that
  • Successfully keeps Dark Nebula contained is housed in Dee Dee Dee's castle for safekeeping,
  • and when the King loses
  • possession of it Meta Knight is the one who steps in to prevent it from getting open, because the game outright says he knows what's
  • In there. These are heroic
  • characters, purposely putting their lives on the line to defeat evil, even if their methods are sometimes misguided or
  • questionable. Even when they're at their most villainous the intent isn't nearly as bad as it might perceive. In, "Revenge of Meta Knight". Meta Knight's
  • goal for conquering Popstar, is to make it less lazy.
  • He is literally the Sportacus to Kirby's Robbie Rotten.
  • But, screw that, Kirby boards the Halberd and blows up the entire ship!
  • When the crew decide they want to go down with their captain Meta Knight outright warns them, "You are about to
  • Perish." and "I'm sorry." that is an exact quote, again. This isn't a Kirby game, and here's Meta Knight saying, "You all are gonna die.".
  • Meanwhile,
  • here's Kirby jetting away without a care in the world, and then watches as a ship, full of people crash lands, into the ocean.
  • He literally watches them die, while keeping that adorable smile on his face.
  • it all just goes to reinforce this idea, that for as cute as he is. Kirby just isn't very
  • nice. In the puzzle game, "Kirby's Avalanche."
  • We actually get some of the best examples of how he interacts with his fellow creatures in these games, and his personality is not
  • cute. In the game,
  • the premise is that you puzzle battle anyone you come into contact with as you journey your way to the Dream Fountain. So true to
  • Kirby games, Waddle Dee happens to be your first opponent on easy mode and here's your interaction with him. Kirby:
  • Hi, Waddle Dee. Are you ready?!? Waddle Dee:
  • Umm, can we walk together? The forest scares me... Kirby: Sorry, Rules are rules!
  • Here is a poor innocent creature scared in the woods, and Kirby responds with, "Too bad,
  • I have to beat you in a glorified candy crush mod even other characters in this game recognize home."
  • Kirby can be a few battles later. You're fighting against the Waddle Doo quote again, "You did not treat Waddle Doo with respect...
  • now I
  • Waddle Doo will repay you in kind!" Even the people who are trying to help Kirby, end up getting steamrolled in this game.
  • "I know what your dream is!" And then Kirby just cuts him off, "Go meddle in someone else's affairs."
  • He says, "Meddle in someone else's affairs.".
  • Dude, Kirby, squid man, was just trying to help you. Eehhh, sure that game may not be canon
  • But you know
  • What is Kirby's Dreamland
  • 3? No, in past games in the series you could argue that Kirby was attacking
  • Creatures, because they were part of Dee Dee Dee's army
  • It's not the best argument since, relatively few actively attacked Kirby.
  • But, you could make that case here, though, Kirby outright sees these creatures getting possessed, taken over by a mysterious dark
  • substance from outer space.
  • He should know that they're innocent and yet he still
  • Chooses to swallow them, and slice them in half with cutters, and stab them with swords.
  • Anyway, it's just like Mario breaking the toads who'd been turned into bricks in the first game except here,
  • it's even worse since these creatures still look like
  • Kirby's friends and neighbors doesn't matter, Kirby just runs in and tells him to get in his belly
  • How about all those guardians I mentioned earlier from "Milky Way Wishes"?
  • They were just there on their planet, doing their job protecting their star fountains heroes of their respective worlds,
  • But here comes Kirby a literal
  • alien invader, who not so heroically beats them all up, and it would be one thing if Kirby actually cared about the creatures, he was
  • Helping but he doesn't, in one game
  • he's fighting against Dee Dee Dee for stealing all the food, in
  • Dreamland because the people suddenly don't have enough, but then in the next, he is literally racing Dee Dee Dee, consuming as much as possible in
  • Dynablade, a giant bird is out there damaging all the crops of dreamland. But is that why Kirby takes on the mission?
  • No!
  • Because, dynablade flies past and caused Kirby to get knocked on the head, with an apple.
  • Ruining his nap, and prompting a quest for bloody revenge.
  • But, even if that wasn't the case.
  • Look at Kirby's behavior in this game, Kirby fights to protect the crops, beats up Dynablade, once again asks questions.
  • Later, only to find out that she had kids that she was protecting, which in turn, explains all the crop business.
  • Kirby literally, delivers a beat down to a mother who is
  • Protecting her kids, something that could have very easily been avoided, if Kirby hadn't run in guns
  • blazing, and again
  • If you think all of this is a stretch, that I'm reading too much into these details,
  • And not the games at this point, recognize the dangerous
  • impulsiveness of Kirby, how it can be used for good but also that it can be used as a weapon, for evil.
  • In fact, Kirby is descended from a line of evil creatures, a fact that the games are starting to make more, and more
  • Explicit, so I ask again. What is the true nature of Kirby? He is a chaotic neutral God,
  • reincarnated into multiple generations, with the sole purpose of
  • Destruction, but that part is a whole separate discussion for next week in the meantime, remember?
  • That is just a theory, a GAME
  • THEORY!!!
  • Thanks for watching. If you think it's upsetting that Kirby is turning out to be a force for evil?
  • Well, you'll be really put out by actual forces of evil that exist out there in the real world.
  • Stuff like the phone, or computer you're watching the Sun right now getting hacked, being infiltrated by spyware, or fishing for your information and online
  • Identity. Yeah, Nintendo characters aren't the only CD ones out there in the world.
  • But at least you can be prepared, when it comes to your actual real life.
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Kirby is the lovable gumball that is all about friendship and saving the world. Except, he isn't. In fact I don't think Kirby cares about any of that at all! Theorists, I went back through all of the Kirby games and I started to notice that Kirby... wasn't all that heroic. He doesn't care about ANYONE or ANYTHING but himself. Don't believe me? Well, I'm about to fill you up with so much proof, you'll wish you had an appetite like Kirby!

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Writers: Matthew Patrick
Researcher: Louis Garza
Editors: Alex "Sedge" Sedgwick, Marc Schneider, Dan "Cybert" Seibert, Koen Verhagen, and Josh Langman
Assistant Editor: AlyssaBeCrazy
Sound Editor: Yosi Berman