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Family Feud Cold Open - SNL

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07:04   |   May 04, 2019

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Family Feud Cold Open - SNL
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Transcription

  • >> YOU'RE WATCHING C-SPAN. NORMALLY WE WOULD HAVE SHOWN YOU
  • FOOTAGE FROM ATTORNEY GENERAL WILLIAM BARR'S CONGRESSIONAL
  • TESTIMONY BUT BARR DECIDED NOT TO SHOW UP.
  • AND THEN THE DEMOCRATS CHOSE TO DO SOME LIGHT PROP COMEDY WITH A
  • BUCKET OF CHICKEN. THE WHOLE THING WAS SO
  • DEPRESSING THAT WE'D RATHER FOCUS ON THE TWO THINGS ALL
  • AMERICANS CAN GET BEHIND. "GAME OF THRONES." AND
  • "AVENGERS." >> IT'S FAMILY FEUD AND HERE'S
  • YOUR HOST, STEVE HARVEY. >> YES, INDEEDY.
  • ALL RIGHT. WELCOME TO
  • I AM STEVE OF HOUSE MUSTACHE. TODAY WE GOT "AVENGERS" VERSUS
  • "GAME OF THRONES." ALL RIGHT.
  • LET'S START WITH THE AVENGERS BECAUSE THIS SHOW IS JUST LIKE
  • THEIR MOVIES. WE'RE GONNA OPEN WITH 45 MINUTES
  • OF INTRODUCTIONS. ALL RIGHT.
  • FIRST UP, THE SEXIEST MAN IN THE RENAISSANCE FAIR, THIS IS THOR.
  • >> GOOD DAY, STEVE. GOOD TO BE HANDSOME.
  • I'M A GOD AND I'M FROM SPACE. >> OH, YOU'RE A SCIENTOLOGIST?
  • OKAY. NEXT, WE GOT SWOLE GRIMACE IS
  • THANOS. >> YES.
  • I WANT MY BIG FANCY GLOVE. DOES IT MAKE ME LOOK PRETTY?
  • I DON'T WANT TO BURST YOUR BUBBLE BUT I SAW THAT THING ON
  • QVC. ALL RIGHT.
  • NEXT, SHE A WARRIOR FROM WAKANDA.
  • IT'S OKEY-DOKY. >> MY NAME IS OKOYE.
  • IT IS TRULY AN HONOR TO BE HERE FIGHTING AN EPIC BATTLE THAT IS
  • THE FEUD OF FAMILIES. >> MM, MM, MM.
  • BALD IS BEAUTIFUL. GIRL, YOU MAKE A GOOD DOG WANT
  • TO BREAK ITS CHAIN. ALL RIGHT.
  • FINALLY, WHO WE GOT DOWN THERE ON THE END THERE?
  • >> IT'S I'M GROOT. >> I FEEL LIKE YOU CAN LOOK AT
  • THAT POSTER AND I KNOW THAT'S WRONG.
  • ALL RIGHT. LET'S GO TO THE GAME OF THE
  • THRONES SIDE. I GOT TO BE HONEST, I DIDN'T SEE
  • THE LAST EPISODE. I MEAN, I WATCHED IT BUT I
  • COULDN'T SEE IT. YEAH, YOU KNOW IT'S DARK WHEN
  • YOU CAN'T EVEN SEE THE WHITE PEOPLE.
  • ALL RIGHT. FIRST UP, LADY BRIENNE OF TARTH.
  • >> IT'S -- IT'S SIR BRIENNE. I DON'T IF YOU SAW, BUT I WAS
  • RECENTLY KNIGHTED. NOT THAT I CARE BUT IT WAS LIKE
  • THE HIGHEST HONOR OF MY LIFE. I EVEN ALLOWED MYSELF TO SMILE.
  • >> ISN'T SHE A SNACK. >> WELL, DAMN.
  • WHO ARE YOU? >> I'M TORMUND GIANTSBANE.
  • I KILLED A GIANT, CRAWLED INTO BED WITH HIS
  • WIFE AND DRANK HER MILK. SHE THOUGHT I WAS A BABY.
  • HA HA HA HA. >> OKAY, PLAYA.
  • I LIKE THE BIG GIRLS TOO. ALL RIGHT.
  • NEXT WE GOT A THOUSAND-YEAR-OLD WITCH, MELISANDRE.
  • >> HELLO, STEVE. THIS SHOW IS DARK AND FULL OF
  • TERRORS. >> YOU SOUND LIKE MY AGENT.
  • ARE YOU REALLY A THOUSAND YEARS OLD?
  • HOW YOU DO THAT? >> MAYBE IT'S MAGIC.
  • >> NO, IT'S DEFINITELY MAGIC.
  • GIRL, YOU TAKE THAT NECKLACE OFF OR YOU'RE GONNA TURN INTO AN OLD
  • LADY. BUT I KNOW HOW IT IS.
  • I TAKE OFF THIS SHIRT AND I JUST PUMMEL OUT INTO A POOP EMOJI.
  • AND FINALLY, EVERY FAMILY GOT THAT WEIRD BROTHER.
  • IT'S BRAN. >> HELLO, STEVE.
  • I HAVE TO GO NOW. >> WOO, SOMEBODY GOT THAT GOOD
  • WEED. ALL RIGHT.
  • LET'S GET TWO PLAYERS UP HERE. LET'S PLAY THE FEUD.
  • >> THIS IS A -- >> TARTH, GOOD ON YA.
  • >> TOP SIX IS ON THE BOARD. AFTER TEN YEARS, BOTH YOUR
  • FRANCHISES ARE COMING TO AN END. NAME SOMETHING YOU MIGHT PUT ON
  • YOUR BUCKET LIST. BRIENNE?
  • >> I DON'T NEED A LOT, I'M A LOW MAINTENANCE GIRL.
  • JAMIE LANNISTER, NO RULES. >> OKAY.
  • TRYING TO CREEP WITH YOUR FREAKIN' FRIENDS.
  • OKAY, NOT UP THERE. WHAT'S ON YOUR BUCKET LIST,
  • PLAYBOY? >> I MUST REFORGE THE RAINBOW
  • BRIDGE. >> SHOW ME SOME KIND OF WHITE
  • NAZIS. >> YOU'RE ON THE BOARD.
  • LET'S GO OVER TO THANOS. WHAT'S ON YOUR BUCKET LIST?
  • >> I'M ALREADY COLLECTING ALL THE INFINITY STONES.
  • SO I GUESS ALL THAT'S LEFT IS GET OFF THE HGH.
  • >> YOU KNOW, I KNEW THERE WAS SOMETHING GOING ON.
  • SHOW ME TOO OLD TO BE THAT JACKED.
  • [ BUZZES ] ALL RIGHT.
  • LET'S GO OVER OKRA. WHAT'S ON YOUR BUCKET LIST?
  • >> STEVE, IT'S OKOYE. I AM A DORA MILAJE WARRIOR.
  • BUT JUST ONE DAY I WOULD LIKE TO PUT ON A PAIR OF
  • SWEATPANTS, EAT A CHEESY GORDITA CRUNCH AND WATCH EIGHT HOURS OF
  • LINDSAY LOHAN'S "BEACH CLUB." >> OKAY, THEN.
  • SHOW ME HOW OKRA GOT HER GROOVE BACK.
  • [ BUZZES ] OH, IT'S NOT THAT EITHER.
  • ALL RIGHT. ONE STRIKE LEFT.
  • LET'S GO OVER HERE TO THE GIVING TREE OR WHOEVER THIS IS.
  • GIVE ME SOMETHING ON YOUR BUCKET LIST.
  • >> IT'S I'M GROOT. >> JUST CAUSE YOU SAY IT
  • DON'T MAKE IT TRUE. SHOW ME MIDDLE-AGED LADY IN A
  • HALLOWEEN COSTUME. [ BUZZES ]
  • OH, MAN. ALL RIGHT, GAME OF THRONES.
  • YOUR CHANCE TO STEAL. WHAT'S ON YOUR BUCKET LIST?
  • GIVE ME SOME ANSWERS. >> MOVE MY FACE.
  • >> SEE MY OLD ---. >> BIG GIRL.
  • >> ALL RIGHT. BRIENNE, WHAT'S IT GONNA BE,
  • PLAYER? >> THEY'RE ALL NOBLE ANSWERS BUT
  • NONE ARE INVINCIBLE. I DO FEAR THAT THE FEUD IS LOST.
  • >> NOT TODAY.
  • IT'S I, ARYA STARK. >> RIGHT ON TIME AGAIN.
  • WHAT'S ON YOUR BUCKET LIST? >> WELL, STEVE, AS THE BATTLE
  • APPROACHES AND YOU STAND TO AN ENDLESS NIGHT, THERE IS BUT ONE
  • THING A GIRL MUST DO. >> OH, SAY NO MORE.
  • I SAW WHAT YOU DID IN THAT EPISODE.
  • SHOW ME, GETTING THAT BOOTY. [ RINGS ]
  • OH, NUMBER ONE ANSWER. ALL RIGHT.
  • LET'S TAKE A BREAK. STAY TUNED FOR ME AND BLACK
  • PANTHER SINGS THE SONGS OF JODECI.
  • AND LIVE FROM NEW YORK, IT'S "SATURDAY NIGHT."

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Description

Host Steve Harvey (Kenan Thompson) welcomes Avengers and Game of Thrones stars, like Thor (Alex Moffat), Thanos (Beck Bennett), Lady Brienne of Tarth (Kate Mckinnon), Tormund Giantsbane (Mickey Day), and Brandon Stark (Kyle Mooney), to play Family Feud.

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