Childhood Memories

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08:48   |   Mar 31, 2019


Childhood Memories
Childhood Memories thumb Childhood Memories thumb Childhood Memories thumb


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  • *best anime intro of all time*
  • I've been alive for over 28 years now
  • and despite having significant events in my life...
  • I have some pretty random assortment of memories from my childhood.
  • Take my 18th birthday, for example.
  • It's supposed to represent the day I entered adulthood.
  • But I actually don't remember what I did that day.
  • It was a Saturday, so I wasn't at school,
  • but I was in architecture so I was definitely doing homework.
  • I know I didn't hold a big party so I probably just had a nice dinner with my family.
  • Except I don't even remember where we ate...
  • So I don't recall my adulthood gateway birthday from 10 years ago.
  • But I do remember the last night I was in Philippines.
  • 20 years ago, before immigrating to Canada.
  • I guess that you can debate that moving away would be a pretty significant event, but
  • When I was 6, I didn't understand how far Canada was
  • and how life-changing this move was actually going to be.
  • Anyway, I remember that night, not because we had a long travel ahead of us...
  • ... but because I was sleeping on the floor in the living room
  • I guess, so, once we wake up it would be easier to quickly leave the house to go to the airport.
  • I was a little restless and was tossing around and then turned towards the couch.
  • And that's when a cockroach crawled out and then disappeared away from my peripherals (oh holy sh-)
  • That's it, that's my last memory before moving.
  • In grade 2, when we first moved to Canada,
  • I made a friend who invited me to come over and play with his Transformer toys.
  • I get to his house and we go to his room.
  • And me all ready being a troll at that age, I go straight to his dresser
  • and open one of the drawers.
  • I find his underwear and pull one out, and yell "OOOOO UnDerWeaR"
  • Like he's supposed to be embarrassed of it or something...
  • like ha ha ha, I wear these too, but I'm gonna make fun of you for it!
  • Kids are such jerks.
  • He laughs nervously, and then we proceed to play with his toys.
  • and that's how I remember Marcus...
  • a chubby kid with cool toys that wore "tighty-whities" like me (and me)
  • In grade 4, I was out at recess playing a big game of man hunt with a bunch of kids.
  • Manhunt is basically just tag, but if you get caught you join the hunter team and help tag the others until everyone is caught. (i thought it was infection.)
  • I was hiding out between two portables.
  • I think Americans call them trailers? (Yes they do)
  • Which wasn't really a great spot because it was a dead end.
  • If someone found me there, my exit would be blocked.
  • And indeed, someone found me there and...
  • ...blocked my exit.
  • There was maybe 3 to 4 meters between the portables
  • which gave me a tiny bit of room to try and juke my way past the hunter,
  • except there was a loose nail sticking out of one of the portables
  • which caught my shirt as i was escaping
  • and made a huge tear right under my armpit and also gave me a big cut (childhood flashbacks intensify),
  • But I was more embarrassed than pained,
  • So instead of going to the teacher for some help,
  • I just... fled and continued playing the game
  • 'cause i go hard.
  • I play to win.
  • And even when recess was over, I continued to try and hide my "battle wound"
  • for the rest of the day, as if it was a sign of weakness like
  • Ugh... I can't let them know I bleed...
  • Classmate: Uhhh, Mr. Sandal, Dominic is bleeding.
  • There was this one time in P.E., or phys. ed or gym or whatever you wanna call it,
  • and we were playing basketball.
  • If you've ever met me in person and thought I'm really short,
  • well, you're right to assume that i was the smallest kid in my class
  • for the duration of my childhood.
  • We were split up into teams and mine had some
  • bllllllloody good playas! hehehe
  • who were black (hilarious Dom)
  • At one point we were on the opponent side
  • and my teammate, Mark, was in a position to either pass to me, or to my other taller and more skilled teammate.
  • He passed to me. (Anime moment)
  • I went for a three
  • cash moneeey!!!!!
  • And even though I scored, my teammate still complained like
  • Black boi: "Hey man, why didn't you pass to me?"
  • and Mark replied with:
  • Mark: "What? Dom is a good shot!"
  • Which was a LIE.
  • I mean, I was decent, definitely not as good as the other guy,
  • but I feel like Mark said that to just to justify his choice.
  • and even though I probably scored like 1 more point for the rest of the game
  • I had such a huge boost of self-confidence after hearing Mark's encouraging words.
  • I had such a huge boost of self-confidence after hearing Mark's encouraging words. [Intense screaming]
  • In Grade 5, I had a crush on this girl in my class: Stephanie.
  • The same Stephanie from my Crushes video.
  • It think it was like the last day of class before summer break and we were having a relaxed day.
  • My teacher had a piano in the classroom and allowed the students to play on it.
  • During that time, one of my favorite songs was All My Life by K-Ci & JoJo.
  • And the intro to that song is literally the only thing I know how to play on the piano.
  • And so I requested to play, sat down, and played the intro to the song
  • in hopes to impress Stephanie.
  • Afterwards, the other kids, INCLUDING Stephanie, cheered me on
  • because, they thought it was dedicated to Bridget...
  • Another girl who openly had a crush on me.
  • And, I guess from my little performance people thought those feelings were now mutual...
  • which they weren't...
  • But I didnt want to embarass Bridget by trying to correct the crowd so...
  • yea I-I just went with it.
  • This last one was kind of a suppressed memory because I was so embarrased when it happened. Also, TMI (too much info) warning.
  • Alright, so growing up, after pooping, i was taught to use, what we Filipinos call a "Tabo".
  • A small bucket with a handle that we fill up with water to wash our butts with.
  • That's right, we believe toilet paper alone isn't enough.
  • At a young age, I was too weak to carry the "tabo" on my own with one hand
  • because, obviously i needed the other to wash my anus. (OK now it's TMI)
  • So usually when i was done delivering the package, I'd yell for my parents or older sister to help pour the water while i clean myself.
  • One day, we were at a family friend's house and the parents had to head out for a bit.
  • Leaving us, the kids, at the home.
  • Destiny determined that i had to poop exactly in the time frame they were absent
  • so, naturally i had to depend on my older sister to help me out once I was done dropping the mail.
  • EXCEPT, I had to go real bad, and didn't get a chance to warn my sister ahead of time to keep an ear out for my call.
  • And so I'm there, on the toilet, finished with the load...
  • I left the door slightly ajar so i could be heard
  • and at first I called out to my sister, at a medium volume:
  • (Whispers) Ate...
  • Which, in Tagalog, means older sister or a respectful term for a girl who is slightly older than you.
  • She didnt hear me... and so, i kept calling out increasingly getting louder until i was heard.
  • And, surely enough, I was. Except it wasnt my sister who came to greet me...
  • it was the family friend. (OH CRIPES.)
  • And when you're caught on the toilet, there's actually nothing you can do to minimize how defenseless you look (that's so true it hurts).
  • She laughed hard and, I just had to take it until she got a whiff of my aroma and then left the scene.
  • [sniff sniff] She laughed hard and, I just had to take it until she got a whiff of my aroma and then left the scene.
  • [EW NASTY] She laughed hard and, I just had to take it until she got a whiff of my aroma and then left the scene.
  • Maximum embarrasment.
  • (Bad Audio) Because, now, I rely on technology!
  • This is a bidet.
  • *Turns knob and bidet goes super saiyan on Dom*
  • Ḩ̷̞̯̯̩̫̂̽͂̆͑̕͜͝O̶̡̙̼͈̞̰̳̟͐L̶̜̣̪͇̣̘̮̇͌̓̽̄̆͜͝Y̸̛̤̳̞͍̹̦̳̍͌̈ ̸̢̬̙̰̹̩̺̠̱͂̏͛̂̀̓S̶̨̨̜̤̱̯̳̝̚Ȟ̵̡̛͕͎͓̲̥̈́͘̚̕ͅ-̸̯̄͋͊̋̄̂͗͛͠
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Charles Cao
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