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BIRTHDAY'S ARE NOT FUN

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14:52   |   May 05, 2019

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BIRTHDAY'S ARE NOT FUN
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  • I never thought I'd do one of these
  • again because I don't really like doing
  • them that much
  • wait you don't you don't even know what
  • I'm doing it if you don't know something
  • that I used to do kind of consistently
  • on my channel but don't really do
  • anymore because it doesn't really go
  • that well is I used to do cooking with
  • them is a lot but like there's this
  • consistent pattern of the recipes not
  • turning out very well
  • I don't even think it's fully cooked
  • it's still wrong no do we do know it's
  • literally rock Oh God it's literally
  • sooo it's no oh let's just have a nice
  • bite she's not great you know she sucks
  • I'm mad don't make this at home so I
  • kind of gave up on the idea for a while
  • I was like you don't fuck this I don't
  • even want cookie anymore like I'm sick
  • of it but my birthday's coming up I'm
  • gonna be 18 and I was like you know what
  • fuck this I'm gonna do another commune
  • with Emma I'm gonna bake cupcakes
  • hopefully I don't even know if I have a
  • cupcake pan but if I do have a company
  • pin so we're gonna make cupcakes because
  • I want to celebrate okay wait let me see
  • if I even have a cupcake pan hold on oh
  • my god I don't even know who bought this
  • that's amazing in order to celebrate
  • properly information and fur thing we
  • need to be we need to be and we need to
  • make it fun and we need to make it crazy
  • I also have a lot to talk about because
  • I'm becoming a woman and I've never
  • became a woman before so far I've just
  • been a child but I'm becoming a woman
  • there's a lot we need to discuss there's
  • a lot we need to celebrate so we're back
  • cooking with Emma last year for my
  • birthday I made funfetti cake and it
  • went so bad that it ruined my whole
  • birthday so throwback Thursday to that
  • last year I want the very homemade root
  • I didn't do a box mix I made everything
  • by hand from scratch and it went really
  • bad so this year I was like you know
  • what the fuck that I'm not doing that
  • again so
  • this year we're doing box mix I know
  • it's like actually kind of like
  • depressing because normally I like can
  • make everything you know what it's my
  • fucking birthday at least I'll get to
  • eat it you know like that would be nice
  • like you know eat it for a change
  • so I got some Betty Crocker makes
  • honestly knowing me I'm probably still
  • gonna cook this up somehow
  • so it'll still be fun cuz they think the
  • whole reason why this whole thing is fun
  • is cuz I puff up so I have all my
  • ingredients I even have a fucking
  • cupcake in shit's revolutionary I really
  • didn't think I had that so let's see
  • I've never really used this oven before
  • so I don't really know how to use it
  • okay
  • oh god press enter okay oh wait what he
  • said I straight up done that eases oven
  • I think I've reviewed it why am I
  • talking like that oh my obvious making a
  • smell what what why are these in my
  • fuckin oven okay I feel vir I feel like
  • for me one of my main character traits
  • and personality traits is being a child
  • I'm always the youngest in the group I'm
  • always the kid that can't do stuff
  • because of underage like all my friends
  • are above 18 and I'm 17 so if we want to
  • do something like get ear piercings or
  • go on a zipline half the time I can't
  • even go because I don't have a parent to
  • sign off for me being 17 is fucking
  • annoying I can't even go to the doctor
  • by myself or the dentist I can't find
  • lottery tickets that's annoying I can't
  • do shit I'm the only one that's having
  • this issue still all my friends are like
  • yo like like I even have to fuck another
  • parent but I am scared because I can't
  • get away with as much shit being 17 is
  • nice because I'm like I can't go to jail
  • if I do something bad I can just go to
  • juvie knock on wood if I would not
  • survive in juvie but still like it's
  • better than Jail now if I run a red
  • light I'm going straight up to jail like
  • juvie doesn't even have a spot for me
  • anymore
  • and that worries me wow this is way too
  • easy kind of feel guilty about how easy
  • this is so do you know where the
  • challenge is gonna come in when I'm
  • decorating the cupcakes I want my
  • cupcakes to look good but they probably
  • wall better try it okay okay
  • oh this even clean you Oh also yesterday
  • when I was driving into my garage I
  • accidentally dented my car really bad on
  • my garage door not proud of that but
  • because I'm 17 my mom was like you're
  • just young and stupid
  • well those years are coming to a close
  • like soon and I'm not gonna be able to
  • get away with crashing my car but right
  • now everyone's just like she's your
  • stupid push she's 17 but like the second
  • I turn 18 it's like you're stupid you
  • don't you're just help so much more
  • accountable vice is not opening so I
  • have to search hmm this is fun I like
  • doing cake mix I literally like three
  • steps this is amazing like this is too
  • easy I'm basically fucking done at this
  • point which means that there's like less
  • content for you so like sorry about it
  • but like it's my birthday so I just want
  • to do what I want to actually it's not
  • liver my birthday's on May 22nd so get
  • your gifts ready or whatever they don't
  • like my birthday worst day of the year
  • hate it for the past few years I
  • literally haven't celebrated my birthday
  • because I just refuse I don't like that
  • level of attention I know the amount
  • that I talk you would think like Oh Emma
  • loves her birthday because she's
  • conceited I actually hate my birthday I
  • also don't like birthday parties in that
  • type of shit because it's way more fun
  • for the guests than it is for the actual
  • birthday girl and that is a fact when
  • you throw a birthday party it's
  • literally only fun for the guests
  • because they don't have to fucking worry
  • about the planning they don't have to
  • worry about shit they're not the ones
  • having a midlife crisis I'm straight-up
  • gonna have at least one mental breakdown
  • about the fact that I'm 18 because that
  • shit is scary oh my god this smells so
  • good is this what it looks like when
  • you're actually doing it right oh my god
  • I don't know I'm just not a big fan of
  • birthdays like this year I'm straight-up
  • disappearing on my birthday I don't even
  • want to see my friends I'm just gonna
  • fucking lay in bed lock my door no one's
  • allowed to see me for the whole day my
  • birthday's May 22nd which makes me a
  • Gemini I'm homeless cos I was almost a
  • tourist if I was born ten hours earlier
  • I would be a Taurus I know that's not
  • what happened whoa I am a Jedi which
  • means that everyone hates me for some
  • reason every
  • Gemini's we're like supposedly really
  • like insane or something by the Gemini
  • and I think I'm a pretty good person
  • like I've never heard anyone well
  • gentlemen isn't really made out to be
  • evil I think that I matched some of the
  • traits like I definitely talk a lot and
  • I'm definitely annoying I don't have any
  • of the evil Gemini traits
  • I don't think okay so I want to make
  • this cake funfetti they didn't have any
  • funfetti mix on the store so I'm just
  • gonna add sprinkles cuz I think you can
  • do that but I didn't google it so maybe
  • not I don't know how much to add so I'm
  • just gonna kind of go off you know it
  • was the worst for me though when I used
  • to go to school my birthday was during
  • finals so like I didn't even get to have
  • fun like my art has kind of been dead to
  • me for like years now because they just
  • haven't been able to celebrate I either
  • I'm having a mental breakdown or it's
  • finals or both and now that I don't go
  • to school anymore
  • now I just don't like my birthday
  • because I don't like the attention and
  • there's always all this pressure to have
  • a birthday party and then I don't
  • fucking want to do that that's where I'm
  • at with that know the thing about
  • cooking is I just think I'm gonna clean
  • this up okay I know I'm gonna get
  • salmonella but I want to lick this nope
  • I'm not gonna I'm not gonna like it I
  • want to that you know what shit's gonna
  • be scary is when I'm not a teenager
  • anymore
  • it leaves I'm so gonna be a teenager
  • after this birthday like I'm not getting
  • that old yet but when I'm like 20 that's
  • what I'm gonna start getting scared like
  • the older I get then I'm gonna have to
  • start getting Botox and like you know
  • like a boob job and stuff oh god I'm
  • kidding I don't know like being my age
  • is so fun like being 17 is fucking
  • annoying you know what you like turn
  • like 20 and then you just start getting
  • like you're not really in the know
  • anymore of all twenties kind of young
  • when you're like 25 you don't know shit
  • anymore I don't leave a few more years
  • of me being cool and in the note next
  • thing I don't have to fucking get
  • married oh god I don't even want to get
  • married well I do I may also just be
  • jaded because my parents are divorced
  • but that is a personal issue a lot of
  • girls are like oh my god I can't wait to
  • get married
  • ah okay there's no rush then I have to
  • get have kids straight-up have children
  • like that's so scary
  • yeah like everybody hates teenagers and
  • like we get a bad rap and shit but like
  • I don't care better than having
  • fucking like have a baby throwing up on
  • you don't get me wrong I want to have
  • children one day but like not right now
  • imagine planning on wedding Oh pick a
  • kid up from school like I I can't I mean
  • I am 17 so he was like not get too ahead
  • of ourselves the years are kind of like
  • goin quick all of a sudden like I
  • remember when I was 17 oh I am 17 still
  • but like I remember when I turned 17
  • like this shit's goin by too quick I'm
  • gonna probably die soon sorry I'm just
  • having like a midlife crisis alright so
  • they're in the oven and see you and it's
  • done okay so I think that they're done
  • but I can't find my toothpicks to like
  • test so I'm just gonna get okay well I'm
  • gonna let these cool that the way I need
  • you're not mavin I'm the one these cool
  • for like a long last time and then we're
  • going to decorate them it's gonna be
  • really fun okay I don't know how to turn
  • my oven off so I think I did it if not
  • I'm just gonna burn my lap down we'll
  • cross that bridge when we get to it
  • [Music]
  • let's fucking do this they turned out
  • great
  • I mean I know how they're gonna taste
  • but first does I'm we're gonna do is a
  • very easy one because you know what I'm
  • sick of failing and I fucking want to do
  • something right for once
  • Oh oh I think I think made something
  • similar to this before so I feel like
  • this design is gonna be really easy I
  • don't feel like it's gonna upset me
  • whereas if you like some of the other
  • designs that we're gonna try today might
  • upset me why is this happening was I
  • supposed to shake it first I think about
  • me and arts and crafts is that at first
  • I'm like really good at it and then I
  • just get like bored okay what is with
  • this oh my god does it mean the foot oh
  • my god I need my life
  • I should've bought fucking premade
  • cupcakes from the store that already
  • have decoration sorry I'm not talking
  • about I'm just really busy right now
  • I'm so fucking focused
  • oh my god I ain't got nobody but me is
  • eating these cupcakes because I'm
  • straight up getting my saliva all up in
  • it
  • okay that's not bad it's kind of vibes
  • it could be worse
  • did you know why first cupcake pretty
  • good next what we're gonna make it's
  • very bday theme which I decided to do
  • because you know what it's my DNA huh
  • why are you rubbing out I keep hurting
  • myself
  • oh my god there's a literal hair in it
  • oh I do not have the patience for this
  • okay who used to watch Cupcake Wars
  • so does that show on fucking Food
  • Network or something that shit was so
  • good I got so into that the people on
  • Cupcake Wars made it look so easy
  • and made me think they're fucking aren't
  • you gonna make me cupcakes but
  • apparently I'm not you know as this one
  • might not turn out to that well this
  • looks bad yeah I did bad I don't know
  • what color that is
  • but who so not my best work
  • maybe I'm just like warming up okay this
  • next one's a little bit fun and quirky
  • so oh my god Wow
  • I don't really like sweet stuff that
  • much but then again when it's in front
  • of me look Brown her poop emoji I need
  • to stop eating the frosting how they
  • work I'm literally gonna throw up yeah
  • I'm using my fingers okay because no
  • one's eating these so it's not gonna
  • hurt anyone Oh fucked up
  • oh my god it was like a seven year old
  • made this fuck no that's honestly this
  • one's this one's just straight-up stat
  • you know what I think it'd be cute if I
  • didn't like a little flower it's spring
  • and I don't know why I'm trying to come
  • up with a reason why I'm doing a flower
  • one I'm just doing it what kind of
  • flower should I do like you know mo some
  • people are like oh you have my favorite
  • flowers would do with like I don't have
  • a favorite flower
  • I don't care okay I'll do the tulip cuz
  • that looks easy oh I know it looks like
  • I'm not trying but I swear to God I am
  • it just it's just not going left my egos
  • down but like this still looks kind of
  • good at least I did one good one I'm
  • gonna do like one or two more because
  • I'm starting to just get like sad I'm
  • gonna do this Panda one because I think
  • it's cute and you know a little panda
  • never hurt nobody okay oh this is bad
  • done fuck it
  • okay that's as good as someone's gonna
  • get I don't know I I try I juice oh that
  • was good you know what cupcake
  • decorating is all about having fun and
  • being yourself and earlier I wasn't
  • really being myself you know because I
  • was imitating something that someone
  • else did look at that fine art okay one
  • more sorry I'm just having fun now oh oh
  • yes okay that's where you draw the line
  • I'm done
  • [Music]
  • [Laughter]
  • [Music]
  • let's do a little birthday celebration
  • before I eat one of these because you
  • know what let's not for know why we're
  • all here today for my fuckin bday this
  • is like the only B Day celebration I'm
  • doing this year is right now so like
  • let's make the most of it Wow I just
  • burn my fucking finger a nice seven
  • years old why did that just happen
  • no okay guys let's sing happy birthday
  • to me everyone I won't sing happy
  • birthday thank you guys
  • [Music]
  • it's not that I mean
  • [Music]

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cooking with emma is back (for now)

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